Does this sound good?

Question

Okay I edited the email I am going to send to the vets office to see if they have any jobs avalible for me. Does this one sound good?

Dear Androscoggin Animal Hospital,
I am a 14 year old honor roll student that loves animals and I was wondering if you have any jobs available for me along the lines of cleaning, restocking, keeping the animals exercised, etc. I would be able to work at any time during the summer and once school starts any times that are not during school hours. I look forward to hearing from you. You can contact me through email or call me at #########.
Sincerly,
Mallori

Yes in my state it is legal for me to work as long as I get a working permit

Answer 1

loks good enuff to me...i'd be glad to hire u

Answer 2

A couple changes:
Dear Androscoggin Animal Hospital,
I am a 14 year old honor roll student. I love animals and I was wondering if you have any positions available for someone my age along the lines of cleaning, restocking, keeping the animals exercised, etc. I would be able to work any time during the summer and once school starts any time outside of school hours. I look forward to hearing from you. You can contact me through email or call me at #########.
Sincerely,
Mallori
Also, are you expecting to get paid? if not, you might want to say volunteer positions instead of just positions or jobs. Good luck!

Answer 3

It might sound more professional like this:

Dear Androscoggin Animal Hospital,
I am a 14 year old honor roll student from (your) School. I love animals and I interested in any jobs available for me along the lines of cleaning, restocking, keeping the animals exercised, etc. I would be able to work at any time during the summer and once school starts any times that are not during school hours. Thank you for your time and I look forward to hearing from you. You can contact me through email or call me at #########.
Sincerly,
Mallori


Oh, and you might also want to list some references at the bottom. But not family members. Maybe someone you have babysitted for or a next door neighbor you have done something for, like raking leaves or something like that. Good luck!

Answer 4

It's not clear if you are volunteering or looking for a paid position. I don't think they can hire you legally and pay you if you are only 14. I know that even animal shelters requires you to be at least 16 or 18 when animals are involved. It's a matter of liability. They will probably have to report to the insurance carrier that minor is working in their facility, which may cause the premium to go up. But, it doesn't hurt to try. Good luck.

Answer 5

I would not send this note. It is fine but I think it is better if you go there in person with a resume or introduction letter and let them know your desires in person. This shows your sincere interest by taking the time to actually go there and see them in person. You could then follow up in a week with an email or phone call. If you have not done so and if you are interested in the field of animal care you may want to look at putting in some volunteer hours at a local animal shelter or animal protection agency to get some experience, broaden your horizons and make yourself more attractive to animal hospitals.