Do wedding vows not mean anything anymore?

Question

When people get married, they make an oath to each other and to God......to be faithful, till death due us part....among other things.. WHY then, when a couple has a problem in their relationship and is looking for a solution does everyone say " Its over, move on....divorce divorce divorce...!?!? I have a fabulous marriage...I just can't understand society and why it's ok to just give up.

Ok....before everyone makes me look like a complete moron...I TOTALLY agree that some marriages can't and shouldn't be saved, for example ones that start fine and then one party becomes violent and mentally or physically abuses the other.....But all these questions such as " My husband wont work what do i do or my husbands family is drivin me nuts" In my eyes, thats not grounds for divorce and there are SO many people who just say "get a divorce he's a loser" ...What about people who have a gambling addictions and gamble away their families life savings....and their partner says "we'll work through it." Problems like that should be worked through.......but I guess everyone's entitled to their own opinion.

Answer 1

I really think it has everything to do with the person making the vows. This belief is something u really have to feel, and it is a shame in this day and age people dont understand what it is to b committed. People just arent the same anymore..blame it on celebs and tv or whatever u need to. to justify it. But the truth is that people are just lazy. They dont know what is to work at something...laziness is the root. Marriage takes work and effort...its easier to give up and say u failed than to stick it out and say u've succeeded. In the older days if u got a divorce it was embarrassing..people looked at u different. But now its almost like a war wound people show it off like a badge of honor..i agree its sick. And deffinetly makes it harder to seek out those who feel differently

Answer 2

Well, how many people get married in churches now days? I havent been to a church wedding for nearly 20 years. Majority of weddings are done by celebrants now.

I am an Aussie, We're not an overly religious country, and dont we all swear we'll do somthing and not do it? Havent all of us at some stage promised somthing we couldnt full fill?

Just because at the time we get married we make these vows. Doesnt mean things wont change later. We also come accross obstacles. At the time of the wedding , we mean every word we say, but things change.

Also i think now days. The women are not door mats. In the older days. The man ruled and the woman never complained (example here) Now days the woman stands up for herself and passes her views. If they dont see eye to eye. They leave. Its not hard for a woman now to raise children alone as it was back then.

I hope you understand what I'm blubbering on about.

Answer 3

Because not everyone is blessed as you are. If you have been married more than a decade, then you know that alot of things can change over time. People change. If your husband stopped believing in God, became a drunk or a heavy drug user, refused to get help, and was beating you up along with the kids, would you stay married because of the vows? I didn't believe God would want this to continue. I divorced. The kids did better, and are still doing fine. It was a wake up call for my husband, and he finally got help. We still help support each other. I have no regrets to God for breaking the vows, God helped me through this. I don't believe it would have had a happy ending if I had stayed married.

Answer 4

I, too, have a healthy, committed marriage and I'm with you on this one... to me, the point of making marriage vows is that you are promising to stick with someone even when things get rough - especially when things get rough. If there will never be problems that you have to deal with and it will always be easy to be together, why bother making vows?

Vows that are made are meant to be kept, providing security for husbands and wives and making a safe, stable environment for children to be raised in.

Obviously, if there is something happening in a marriage that ruins that SAFETY, like abuse, then that marriage should be stepped away from. Hopefully, though, every effort would be taken to have counselling and work through the problem. But Hollywood's practice of divorcing because of 'irreconcileable differences' makes vows so pointless... why bother in the first place?

Answer 5

I've been married twice- my first marriage could not be fixed he was mean, abusive, and an alcoholic that was unwilling to work on getting any better- i had to leave because I had a child to think about. My current husband and I have a great relationship and love each other very much- if we DID have problems we would try to work them out. Some relationships just can't be fixed though and divorce has to happen.

Answer 6

A lot of it has to do with divorce being the easy way out. Women's liberation has had some to do with it, not always a bad thing since there are some really bad husbands (Wife beaters and such). Also there is a disconnect going on as to what a good marriage is in this country. A lot of people think if it isn't perfect it is broken. They are not realistic in their expectations.

Answer 7

The words mean everything to a couple. Who stay and works out their problems in a marriage. Couples needs to help out each other, and talk to each other . Just because your marriage is going good. Does not mean everyone else's marriage is.
I try to get the couples to talk it out. Give one another a chance on it. Try therpy sessions, and more. I don't say all the time, well get divorce.
I been there two already, I know what the hell Iam talking about. So don't sit there , and say your is so fabulous. Everyone marriage has it ups and downs.

Answer 8

I have a great marriage too so I can't answer that. wait maybe I could make something up. I think some people instead of trying they just give up because it's easier or because they say they have fallen in love with someone else. When in reality that person will probably change once they are together. I think when people meditate on things like their lustful desires then they feel they need to act it out, and those desire's cause problems. Not just lustful but some people kill their spouses that is something that they have meditated on and meditated on until they acted it out. Crazy huh? Instead they should cast those thoughts down. I also think that if they commit to someone and can't keep it then they are weak! Maybe they were never really in love with the person in the beginning. In that case then they shouldn't have gotten married until they were really ready to commit. Some people get love struck and don't really see the person unless they live with them (ya know because they are love struck), but to me if you are going to get married you need to work it out no matter what! I mean marriage isn't something you should take lightly or throw around!

Answer 9

it's a throw away society and people are no longer taught the old values of yesteryear. my parents divorced but i've been married for 11 years now. we're not gonna quit although we've been through some pretty hard times together. i think the key is learning how to tolerate the less appetising traits of your other half. if their good points outweigh the bad then you hang in there. however, many people just think life is too short and bail out. if there's kids involved i think it's preferable to make the best of being together, unless, of course, there's mental/physical or sexual abuse taking place. women in the old days had to tolerate all this kind of crap so that's one good thing that's come out of the lack of tolerance in this throw away society!

p.s sorry ,didn't mean to patronise, but you'd be surprised at the amount of people on here that seem to know zilch about anything! :)

Answer 10

Ive thought that too. I cant believe how many married people are cheating and lying. I take my vows so seriously. I made a promise infront of my husband, my family, my friends and God. I could never break that promise. I knew how serious getting married was and it didnt scare me one bit. We have our rough times lke everyone else but no other man will make it better. I pride myself on being an honest, loving woman for both my husband and my children and would never risk loosing them for one night of stupidity. I dont believe things have always been that way. People just rush into things these days and getting a divorce is too easy. Ive also noticed that a lot of answers are people telling them to get a divorce even if its over somrthing so minor & trivial