My parents hit me a lot when I was young so that I don't stray away from studying,now, when I bring the topic up .they go crazy.mom starts crying and sometime my dad hits himself..
they make me feel like I am an evil person.is it okay for a parent to hit his child for any reason at all???????/
2006-07-06 00:15:35 · 33 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
yea. its a good reason to hit them back
2006-07-06 00:19:15 · answer #1 · answered by sfsy1 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I firmly believe that a good whooping is a great discipline tool. Though you need to be careful with it. You should try and refrine from hitting a child if you are really upset. You might end up hitting them more then you want, or harder then you mean too. But whoopings are always the best, sometimes just a talking is in order, or corner, or time out chair. I believe if more parents spanked their kids there would be less bad kids out there. But remember if you use whoopings then you also need a reward system. Praise when something good is done. Just always whooping them with no praise where its do kind of makes it seem like they only get whooped and will cause the whoopings only to become painful for a second and forgotten the next.
2006-07-06 00:44:26 · answer #2 · answered by tweedy778 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A used to get a smack backside if I did anything wrong, you know, wandering off in busy airports and ripping up a family photo album, are the most memorable occasions, and this never did me any harm. The bottom is probably the least painful place to be smaked. However, my parents stopped this type of discipline when I was around 8 - 10. They certainly didn't hit me because I wasn't studying! My parents have always maintained that they can put me in the correcr direction, but they can not make me do anything I really don't want to do and this stance has stayed with since then. Your parents must be feeling ashamed of themselves if they react like this, so they evidently didn't punish you in the right way.
2006-07-06 00:22:10 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Discipline is one thing - abuse is another. I have always had a hard time with physical punishment because I teach my children not to hit and I believe it sends mixed messages.
I have treated each situation as individually as my children are. My 16 year old has been spoiled rotten ( mainly because she was not suppose to be here) she very rarely got spanked - and it shows.
This is a tough question and there is no way for a simple answer. If a child feels degraded or less than - it is wrong, no question about it - that verges on abuse. If children are taught not to hit and then are hit - it is confusing for them.
It sounds as if your parents realize that they made some mistakes with you - in the attempt to keep you focused on education. Maybe they wanted you to do and have better than they did?
If it is troubling you today and you cannot speak to your parents - find someone to talk to (friend, family, therapist) so that you can get past the pain.
The growing process is now your responsibility - you can make the changes needed for your well-being!
2006-07-06 00:23:21 · answer #4 · answered by MS L 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I was being hit by my parents when I was a kid. However I was the devil incarnate. I believe if my kids ever do half as I have tome to my parents I'll go crazy.
On the other hand last week a four year old died because of maltreatment in its house.
Children should be disciplined one way or an other. Corporal punishment should be avoided as much as possible but sometimes is necessary.
The important issue is how much the parents are responsible.
2006-07-06 00:22:00 · answer #5 · answered by Kimon 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, parents shouldn't hit at all their children. My dad thinks like your parents! Every time me and my sister, when we were young, did sth that he didn't like ( he is very stuck in the old times!), he hit us . Luckily, i wasn't being hit a lot, but my sister.... she was a bit more rebellious from me. Probably they hit you because they were new parents & didn't know what to do, how to calm you down, make you study. I think they wanted your sake, but they shown it to you with a very bad and harmful way. Your parents hit you in the past because probably they were hit by their parents when they were about your age, and now they react this way because they have realized that they had turned into the thing which they didn't want to turn into, like their violent parents. ( I guess!). And you haven't done sth wrong to feel like an evil person, so don't ! Don't ask for explanetions, cause you bring up bad memories for them and even for you! Just try not to do sth like that to your child!
2006-07-06 01:57:14 · answer #6 · answered by Anastasia A 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When I was a child it was normal for a parent to hit a child. Nowadays. I don't think it's right, although some kids would deserve it. I see the way some children act out especially out in public. Leave a parent very frustrated. I think if you hit a child it teaches them that it's okay to hit which leads to worse things as an adult.
2006-07-06 00:40:59 · answer #7 · answered by whtecloud 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No - it is not okay for parents to hit their children.
It seems that their hitting was meant with the right intentions, but they went about it the wrong way.
They should have made schooling and studying fun for you - but I guess they did not know how to do that so they resorted to the only thing they knew which would help to control you.
Believe it or not, I feel that they meant the very best for you - they wanted you to succeed where they (your parents) had not.
Try to learn from them - as you have seen - your parents are merely human beings with faults.
If you can get your parents to understand that you see why they hit you, but explain to them at the same time that it really wasn't the best method they could have used, then perhaps you can help to make them feel better when you tell them how you plan to study to the best of your ability.
Your parents feel badly for what they did to you - don't let that guilt continue - they are punishing themselves - don't you punish them, too.
God bless and good luck!
2006-07-06 00:22:34 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The only time i give a spank on the rear of my children is after i've warned them not to do something because it will hurt them. for example, i warn them not to go in the road becaus a car could hurt them. If i see them in the road, i bring them back, get to their level and remind them again that they can't go into the road. if, after the 2nd warning, i see them in the road again, i bring them back, tell them what they did wrong, and promptly spank him on the rear. not hard, but enough to where they get the idea that mama means business. I do it out of love, not anger. I would rather pat them on the butt, then have them get run over by a car. If my 4 y/o mouths off to me, i tap(not hard, because i don't want to hurt him, but again to know that i don't tolerate mouthing off) him on the mouth and let him know it's NOT ok to disrespect people like that. and if i see a hand reaching for a hot stove, i tap the hand and let them know that they could burn themselves really bad if they touch it. Your parents shouldn't have hit u to keep u studying, but i think they feel bad and realize they made a mistake and that's why they cry when u question them. I think they thought, at the time, that they wanted u to succeed in studies and felt that they had to use their hands to do it. It wasn't right, but understand your parents are not perfect and they do realize what they did was wrong. and realizing that you were a bad parent can really take a toll if they were mostly good parents, aside from what they did to you. Just make sure YOU don't do the same things. Learn from your parents mistakes so that you can be a good parent. as far as your parents, let it go. did they hit u or beat u? was it more of a spank or a downright bloody beating? if u feel that it was a beating then that's abuse. if not, then just let it go and learn from their mistakes.
2006-07-06 03:58:49 · answer #9 · answered by Starangel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Experts seem to be divided on this, personally I was beaten as a child and make a serious effort not to hit my 2 children but it is tough. I don't believe it is okay to hit your kids but whats works for me is "an attitude adjuster". I take the side of my foot and a nice firm BUT NOT HARD boot on the butt seems to work. I have found that if you take a few deep breaths , maybe count to 100 or so , you don't do the aforementioned in anger. Good luck and find what works for you.
2006-07-06 00:22:30 · answer #10 · answered by Bob D 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
spare the rod and spoil the child...
In the Bible, David says that foolishness in born into a child but the rod of correction will drive it far from them.
I was spanked, grounded and beaten with a switch,garden hose, or whatever else was handy while I was growing up. And I admit that most of the time I deserved it. But in the end, I learned to respect authority and respect others. Something that is growing more absent in our society with each generation. And we wonder what's wrong with the kids today?
Be your own judge and follow your own convictions, but I will follow what I know works. My children love me and respect me.Even though I'm not shy to correct them,they are teens now and I seldom have to discipline them and most of the time, I can trust them to make the right choices....
Hence: "train a CHILD in the way they should go, and when they are grown they will not depart from it."
2006-07-06 01:33:00 · answer #11 · answered by monty h 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋