My ex wants to get back together and I really love him, but my friends and family can't stand him over something he did like 3 years ago. He's changed a lot but if I pick him then I lose friends and disappoint my family.
2006-07-05 23:40:39 · 23 answers · asked by kittie_eyz 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Well try to argue with them. Sometimes friends and families have great reasons why we shouldn't do some things. Ask yourself, "how sure are you that he has changed?", "Has he suffered enough to make him not do what he did before again?", "Do I have good and strong reasons to defend him when my friends contradict?", and finally, "Do I really love him or am I just falling once more on his tricks?". If all the answer leads to something that will point that you should let him come back, then go ahead.If not, maybe you should go back to the questions above once more.
2006-07-05 23:49:46 · answer #1 · answered by athame 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
My mother told me a very good piece of advice: "leopards don't change their spots." People can put on a face to make it seem like they've changed, but truly...People Don't Change!!!
It may seem strange, but love is truly blind. It seems so easy to ignore bad things about the people we love. It's only when we step back away from the relationship a bit do we realize what the other person truly is. If you respect & trust your friends and family, then stick with them. It may seem hard and it may not seem like the right thing to do according to your heart, but if that many people can see him for what he is, then you should too.
Think about your life years down the road with this guy...Is he REALLY what you want? It's very hard to get out of a bad situation or relationship, so it's better just to stay out now and save yourself a lot of emotional hardship and heartache.
Like I said, if the people around you (friends & family) don't like the guy, then you should leave him. Friends & family are the ones who know us the best and want to keep us from harm and from doing stupid things! And remember that your friends & family are warning you because they have also done stupid things in the past. Another good saying is "hindsight is 20/20." Step beyond the loving him part and truly look at him for who he is. If you didn't know him and he were a stranger would you give him a chance or would you walk the other way? The heart is a powerful organ that can kill us if you let it, but definately go with your friends & family. They can see him for what he is & love doesn't ever just happen once. Love happens several times in a lifetime & there is always time for love. Think of how miserable you will be if you stay with him, but can't take him to visit any of your friends or family. Believe me, just that can make you depressed & angry. Don't stay with him. Family & friends are forever, men come and go.
2006-07-06 00:07:21 · answer #2 · answered by Petitelady 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You will not be able to find true love if you expect everyone around you to like whoever you have chosen. You are living your life for others.
Everyone deserves a second chance, except women beaters, serial killers...in other words, criminally insane individuals.
Note that I place women beaters in the front of the list. If your ex did something that was not serious enough to jeapordize your livelihood, then, go ahead and give him a second chance. Make your family and friends understand this. If they don't ask for their friendship if they would not bless the new relationship.
There is an old saying "There is no gold in the world that worth as much as a returning bum" (in this case, the bum means the one who did wrong, regretted and vowed to be good).
Love is blind, but listen carefully to your friends and family. I am sure they do not intend to hurt you.
2006-07-05 23:50:25 · answer #3 · answered by OnTheTreadmill 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It depends on what he did 3 years ago.And are you sure he's changed and he will never do what he did? Are you sure you will be happy with him? If you are sure of that and you really want him back, try to explain your friends and your family that he is very important for you and you will be happy with him.Tell them that he's changed, that every person has a second chance and it is very important for you. Maybe they'll understand.
Good luck and take the right decision!
2006-07-05 23:51:53 · answer #4 · answered by p3rfect_cat 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Accept him as your friend first to know if he really has changed. Tell your family and friends that your ex is not the same guy as he used to before. Be open to them. You could tell them his positive points so that slowly they could accept him also. One way to test his sincerity is to take him to your house and meet your family members and friends. How he would react and ask for forgiveness to you and to your family.If everything is ok I guess your family and friends will understand you coz they know that you love him very much and for them, your happiness means a lot.
Good luck!
2006-07-05 23:50:13 · answer #5 · answered by *Jumeirah* 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey beautiful let me tell you something you know your EX better than all of us here and your family because the time you would had in your relationship when you were together it's between you and him.So inshort you are the judge if you think it would be better to go on than do it.however if you had a bad break of before and you are scared as for what's gonna be next it's better to think it nver happend.So my dear pal decision comes from heart I know but it's always to use brains when it's matter of Life..Regards
2006-07-05 23:59:36 · answer #6 · answered by alms4love 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask urself dis: Do you still love him like b4??? R u extremely sure??? Would you regret it if anything goes wrong???
Ppl change all the time...past is past..the present is in your hands and the future,no one knows for sure.
If you're absolutely sure what you want,move on..
As for your family,have a good and slow talk with them...
Your ex too plays a part..he too needs to spent time with them and convince them that he has really changed.
Be patient...Time heals everything.
2006-07-05 23:46:47 · answer #7 · answered by MIzzMoo 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It really depends on what he did. But on the other hand your friends and family cant make all your decisions for you. If you feel comfortable to get back with him that is a choice you need to make for yourself. But like I said it depends on what he did. If he hit you or cheated don't bother getting back with him. But if it something minor think about it. If they are really your friends they will support you and be there if you need them. You can't always please everybody.
2006-07-05 23:49:40 · answer #8 · answered by LouMomma 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
We are blind to the faults of the people we love, but others aren't. So think carefully about what your family and friends are saying, otherwise it will be a case of 'I told you so'.
2006-07-05 23:44:21 · answer #9 · answered by Ya-sai 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
try talking to ur friends and family, tell them the guy is a changed person and i guess they will understand and see that for themselves if they give him a chance.
2006-07-05 23:53:01 · answer #10 · answered by pOOhPhAT 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋