We have 3 beautiful kids 4, 2 and 10 months. I don't enjoy exercising in this stage in my life. I am busy with the kids. I am overweight, but so is he. He plays sport, but I don't. I am totally stumped and am not sure of my feelings towards him now!
2006-07-05 23:30:04 · 25 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
if he said to you that he is going to leave you because you are overweight then your better off without him...you brought 3 of his kids into the world and all he can think about is you being overweight....you need to find someone that loves you for you and doesnt care about your size....i'm overweight too although i only have 1 child and i walk 2 miles 5 days a week and loosing weight but really slow...but anyways you dont have to put up with down talk from someone who used to say that he loves you through THICK and THIN!
2006-07-05 23:41:20 · answer #1 · answered by sjeboyce 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I wouldn't go so far as to say "leave him", like some others have, but it does sound unfair, especially seeing as he's overweight too.I think, if your able, that you need to sit down together and have a real good chat. Maybe, him being an insensitive man and all, he thinks that an ultimatum is the best way to get you going. Point out to him that he's in the same state as you, but hasn't had to carry and give birth to 3 kids, or presumably be stuck at home with them all night and day. Then if he's still listening, offer to try to lose weight together. If he really loves you, he should agree to this. If he's already stopped listening and doesn't want to help, well then maybe it's time for some counseling, but if he wont agree to lose weight together or help you, he probably wouldn't go for counseling either- that's when you should start thinking about a separation.
2006-07-05 23:58:38 · answer #2 · answered by bougainvillaea 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is the same situation that I was , overweight and very busy with my children. I think this is very rude telling you to lose weight , these sort of comments gives you low self esteem and that makes things worse for you....I do not like exercising either. But now I just go on walks which is good for you and also helps your mind. Tell your husband get a life and he should mind the kids so you could go swimming or whatever you like to do now and again.
Take care and be strong
2006-07-05 23:45:20 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, the degree of how unreasonable the ultimatum is can be gauged by how long you've been overweight. If you haven't been overweight for very long but he is saying this, then it is a bit extreme. In any event, you could try to salvage the marriage. I agree that such an ultimatum is harsh and mean, but then losing concern over your own attractiveness isn't too considerate, either, but I have no idea if such is the case or not. It may not be, but if it is that isn't fair, either, although it doesn't merit the threat of leaving you. That is an extreme condition that he sets, but if you try your best to salvage the union, at least for the kids, at least you've done what you could, even if it turns out for the worst. I am sorry to hear about this.
2006-07-05 23:37:05 · answer #4 · answered by perfectlybaked 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ouch! What a jerk! Here's an idea to see how serious he is. Tell him that you'll loose weight if he looses weight. I did this to my fiance...not that either of us were pressuring each other. That way, you'll know if it's the weight that's bothering him or if there is something else going on and he's just using the weight issue as a front. He might be overwhelmed with the kids and is looking for what you two had before the kids...especially when it comes to looks. If you want to loose weight and not exercise...and I hear ya, I hate exercising!...go on a fruit, vegetable, meat diet. I lost alot of weight by just doing that...no exercise. Hope this helps you!
2006-07-06 02:26:32 · answer #5 · answered by emmie8750 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It seems to me that he's making excuses to leave anyway, if not your weight then it's something else.
Decide were your feelings are for him, and in the meantime Do Not Let Him Destroy Your Self Esteem
Make it clear to him that you have your hands full at the moment with the kids, cleaning etc.
You might also want to suggest that you BOTH need to exercise, together
If all else fails show him to the door and close it behind him with a smile.
2006-07-05 23:44:10 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
with a ten month old baby u should be given a bit of slack, does he think ur body recovers in a few months aftre being stretch and strained for almost 10 months of pregnancy? tell him to leave then, he is superficial and doesnt love u. if he cant love u when ur at ur worst he wont love u at ur best. i had a bloke like this i kept think if i was better, thinner prettier a better mom better cook kept the house cleaner etc hed love me more, and guess what i did all of the above and he still didnt love or respect me. it will never be good enuff, hes problem isnt with ur weight its with his own he cant love himself so he cant find the love for u and by getting on ur case he feels better about himself. u deserve better ur a great mum and a wonderful woman and u are (and deserve to be) loved even if its just by ur kids (and me ;)) ! ps if he is serious about this and u want to make it work, tell him to mind the kids and join a fitness group or sport group or mums group that walk together, but do it cos u want to get fit and not cos u want to fit his mould or ideals. good luck babe
2006-07-05 23:36:31 · answer #7 · answered by Bella Know All 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would be really honest with myself. How big am I? and I would think about if he has gained weight since dating...etc. Sure they are supposed to love you no matter what...but sometimes weight can really be a turn off and he could be worried about your health. Maybe he is hoping that this could be an eye opener for you.
It could be fairly easy to lose weight even with children. Make the whole family eat healthy and be active together so your children don't also become overweight.
2006-07-06 04:57:03 · answer #8 · answered by optimistic_dr3am3r 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok first of how much do you love him and need him in your life? cause if you don't then let him go. you don't need that kind of disrespect. you had his children. ask him how would he feel if you gave him that ultimatium. and if he does leave then you'll more than likely be hurt but hey go out and do something active with your life you know fun go to the zoo with your kids go bike riding swimming the play ground youll be having so much fun with them you wont know that your exercising and lose all that weight and when he wants you back tell him that he needs to gain some morals and manners and lose his shallowness. some other tips are to drink alot of water and just watch your calories stay within your calorie limits. and that was just a s@#%%^ thing of him to say to the mother of his children and the woman hes married to.
2006-07-06 01:40:21 · answer #9 · answered by baby girl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he doesn't love you for who you are instead of how you loOK it is not real love. Does he even know that he is overweight? I know it would be hard raising 3 children by yourself but this is abuse he is doing to you. If you stay it will tell your children that it is ok to act like that. The girls will take it from their husbands and the boys will do it to their wife's. Talk to him to see if it is a phase he is going through or if he means it. Don't let it go on too long.
2006-07-05 23:41:05 · answer #10 · answered by # one 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋