How do you cope with a quick temper boyfriend?

Question

I'd knew my boyfriend since 5yrs ago and he seems like a world-end for me; i knew i loved him but he hurt me so bad with his bloodyful temper. He once break a glass panel at the mall and get arrested by the security when we had a huge row. Even we did throwing dinner at each other when we argued about our seriousness at restaurant. All the public humiliation; crying, shouting, fighting.... seems a routine that breaking my heart.

On top of that, I just love the pleasure when he says sorry. You know, the egoism really gone when he kneel down and cry. The romance is only begin after the sorry-for-being-ur-enemy-drama. Sort of things, he even lick tenderly my bruises arms and hurt himself for being cruel towards me.

Do we really meant for each other or I am just hold back and pretend that nothing's wrong? I never told anyone about this and nobody knew his behaviour. Am I a victim? Or am i being hallucinated?

We will getting married next year. Both financially stable. 24 y/o.

Answer 1

Leave him, this is the type of senario that I've read or heard about that ends up in the wife being battered and abused or worse.....
Love yourself first and get out! Once out stay out!

Answer 2

I hate to say but i believe you are a victim let him hurt himself lick your bruises like the dog he is the longer you pretend nothing is wrong the harder it is to break away trust me I know you still love him I have been a victim myself for almost 5 years you see they start off real slow with the verbal and mental abuse the comes the yelling then hitting punching whatever there preference the for me I will never do it again twist to be my fault then he would go get the rifle and being so distraught threaten to kill himself or how know the 2 of us I always talked him out of it telling how much I need him love him I look back he had no intention of killing himself but sure made me stay shoulda but i left when he was at work family came and got me and moved me to another town only way and I still talk to him once in awhile and he always wants me back as much as I loved him I love me more and now he will think twice before hitting again as far as I know he only has once but hey that's pretty good in ten years but think about it wouldn't you rather not be on pins and needles take time for you you figure it out no one can tell you what to do u need to figure that out for yourself but maybe my story will help aid you in that decision

Answer 3

oh boy I smell trouble big trouble. What has happened in your life that makes it ok for him to treat you that way? Do you know that there are men who never do anything close to what your guy does.
You are classic abused women.And it is very typical for those men to be so sweet and sorry when they say they are sorry. I know I was in love with one once.
You are addicted to the drama. You get the rush when he asks for forgivness and is so wonderfully sweet and charming. And your heart explodes with love.
Look up on the internet for abused women support groups. Call off the wedding. Be strong and move on. Go before he seriously or fatally harms you. You are so accustomed to his behaviour that you don't really see the magnitide of the behavior.
Run. don't walk away. Even if you have to move out of state.
Can you imagine having children with him and how he might hit them or yell at them? Scary. You need to stand strong and believe in your own worthyness. You deserve a good man who has control over his temper. Break the cycle and move on. You are stronger than you imagine. Get help, there are lots of volenteer groups who help women.
I hope that someday in your future you will find a wonderful man who will love you and protect you.

Answer 4

Are you a victim? NO, Your an Idiot! There are a million ways to feel pleasure and having to go through complete humiliation and abuse is not the way. If you have endured this for 5 yrs, means you were 18 when you fell for this creep. You haven't had the time to meet Mr. Right when Mr. Right Now is all Wrong.
Ask yourself "Why is it I haven't told anyone about his behavior" I think you know the right thing to do. CUT YOUR LOSSES

Answer 5

It will get worse. The simple fact that you're asking, you know that you're pretending that nothing is wrong. Too many people start out like that and end up wishing they had never gone down that road when the husband/boyfriend starts taking out they're anger on them physically..... you'll probably say that he would never do such a thing but I'm sure they said that too. Until he does something constructive to sort out his anger management issues, I think the marriage should be put on hold!

Answer 6

First, I'll start by asking about your own temper. Do you just let him beat you or you usually fight until he overpowers and you get beaten?
Your man is behaving like most natural men, only that he seems not to be able to control his temper all the time.
If you love each other, I believe you can sit down together and discuss these before you actually tie the knots. Also consider going for counseling, both of you.
Finally, I know people who get hooked on Jesus usually find their temper taking away by God's power. This should be your first option.

Answer 7

Know you're not a victim, some people go together like a hand and glove. He's crazy enough to think that he can continue to abuse someone physically and excuses and tears will keep them from putting a bullet in his head. And you are willing to play crazy and let him kick your@#$ for the attention later. Soon u will have the attention of all your relatives and close friends as they view your body. It would behoove you to grow up. Believe it or not it would also help him.

Answer 8

go ahead and get married.

all will be well.

we alsoassed this stage. when in college we fell in love. then we were fighting, annoying each other, getting tempers flayed, and again making up and getting happy.

then again the tube of life used to get a puncture.agai sore tempers, getting upset, humilation, at bustands, hotels,even in temples. have you gone that far? we even went further.

But after marriage?

Life became very very happy, coooool, nooooooo fighting, no
bickering.

Because the BF GF times are gone, love gets 100% attention & time. Because responsibility has set in. Because we both know that we can make this happiness last a lifetime.

So can you.

All the best.

Answer 9

What are you, an idiot? You will be dead or seriously hurt by the time you are 30.....is this the way you deserve to be treated? Are you so horrible this is the best you can do? If you go through with this....you deserve what you get....but I don't think any woman deserves this kind of abuse......there are laws against this kind of thing.....don't enable the man, get out and run for your life....literally

By the way, if he was sorry....he would stop doing it...he isn't sorry.....he is waiting for the moment to hurt you very badly

Answer 10

Consider this...when you're dating someone you're on your BEST behavior. You're trying to impress them and show your best side.

If this is his BEST behavior, do you really want to be on the receiving end of his NORMAL behavior?

Do you want your children to think that this sort of thing is acceptable?

Saying "I'm sorry" after this sort of behavior means nothing. The only thing that would truly show he's sorry is if he actually DID something about it.

I realize the make-up part is really great, but you get tired of the drama after awhile. At some point, you want to look forward to going home after working all day and relaxing..and you're going to come home to THIS.

Don't get married to this man. Insist that he get into anger management counseling or leave. You don't want to be on the receiving end of this...you are NOT a punching bag. You don't deserve to be battered because you argued with him.

Answer 11

if you stay with him then i have to assume that you loooove the abuse and from reading what you typed it really seem as though you like but if you are tired of it and don't want it to get worse then you need to leave him now cause the longer you stay with him and let that happen then the worse it will get

oh and it is a real shame to know that you fall for the crying, on the knees thing he only do that just so you won't leave him...........and you fall for it?........really sad honey

if he was really sorry then it would not have happend the 2nd time