To put on Birth Cert or Not?

Question

I am not sure I want the father's name on the Birth Cert. or not. I know if I don't add him, I won't be able to get state aid, but If I do I will be able too. He claims he is going to fight to have his child support payments put into a saving for the baby, which I don't believe can happen, as child support is just that, support for the baby. He has bought nothing and never will. I don't want him to have unsupervised visits with our baby either, he has anger issues and hasn't taken part in any appt, although I did notify him of all of them. I can do it on my own, so if I don't put him on the birth cert, what will it take him to get his name on it? I think by now he should have to fight tooth and nail to be able to take part in his baby's life, as he never made the effort. Let me know your opinion. Sticky situation, that I never thought I would be in, but I am so I am dealing with it. Due in 4 weeks :-) State of Wisconsin

Answer 1

You know, you should put his name on the birth certificate.

When the baby is grown, he or she will need to know who the parents are. It is an essential feeling to know your roots. Whether the father would want to have contact with the baby or not in future, when baby is grown he or she surely will need to know. Use your own energy on positive feelings. Don't let this fighting daddy get to you!

Let the father fight all he wants. He obviously doesn't understand (yet?) the fact that he is fighting a human being - of his own flesh and blod, that is coming to life now. Maybe when time comes he will understand that child support is not for you (if that is what makes him so angry) it is for the baby; for its food, clothes, home, school - everything. Of course it is for you too; when you are at ease with economical situation you can be a better parent for the baby.

Good luck to you : )

Answer 2

When I was with my ex, we decided to get pregnant. I was about 8 mos. along and his mother's side of the family got him alone and started questioning the paternity of my baby. He wasn't affected by what they said, but in the hospital the day after my baby was born, the woman came in to fill out forms for the birth certificate, and he all of the sudden refused to sign. We were still a couple, he just out right refused, I was embarrased because he kept saying if anything happens between us, I don't want to pay child support. So, he went ahead and didn't sign. A year later, we split and the state sued him for child support, so it doesn't matter. My husband and I get along well with him and his wife, and my daughter has always visited with him since we split. He called me a few years ago yelling that he went downtown and they wouldn't give him a copy of my daughter's birth certificate. I don't know what he wanted it for, but I had to remind him that he didn't sign it therefore was not acknowledged on the certificate as her father. I'm sure he feels like an *** now, but it was his decision. My point is he is acknowledged as my daughter's father in her life, and in the state's eyes being responsible for support. He is not recognized as her father only on the Birth certificate which probably really hurts him now.

Answer 3

Dear Wisconsin,
I went through the same issue when I had my son I wanted nothing to do with the father and that is a whole different story, but to answer your question. In the state I had my child it did not matter whether the fathers name was on the birth certificate or not and I don't think it does in any state why? because when you take him to court IF you decide to go that route they will ask him if he wants a paternity test anyway (a DNA test) to prove if he is the father and IF he contests it (says he isn't) as the mother YOU have the right to say what goes and what doesn't go on the babies certificate UNLESS you are married then there would be an issue of whether or not the father is added. as far as aid for the child, he is going to have to pay child support regaurdless IF you take him to court. now, the funding he wants to set up for, I really don't think he will win that case because when your going to court for support of your child it isn't solely for the child it is also for you for example, if you need child care, or personal needs for the baby, or just plain bills to be honest. you have to have support to keep your house running not only for the baby but for you as well. I have been to court twice for both my sons and the support goes directly to me and not to some stupid fund. NOW you can ahve the state send it to your savings to the bank of YOUR choice but your still able to withdraw from it when you please. NOw as far as the visitations, the court is going to ask you what you agree upon (yes been there done that too) IF the father is unft to be alone with the child or you feel there is potienal dangers TELL the judge! you may be asked to have proof GET IT! in fact you may need to do that jsut incase the father wants to trip at least you will ahve the proof of his violence and you won't regret it later. There is one thing I do ask you to do before all this goes on, YOU get on your knees and ask GOD for direction. When you put God first he will give you direction,(I promise!) he will give you favor in the court room and bless your correct decision

Answer 4

The very worst man in the world can (not will, can) change when a newborn baby is placed in his arms. I didn't put my son's father's name on his birth cert. I didn't think he would hang around long enough for it to matter. 11 years later, I'm having the papers drawn up to put him on it. I realized I didn't earn my place as his mother. I made a mistake, I got pregnant, and I don't believe in abortion, I didn't have a choice. His father shouldn't have to earn his place either. (It took a very long time for me to admit that.) Plus, at birth all he really has to do is get a DNA sample and get his own name put on it, and if he's as bad as you say be aware he can take you to court for falsifying legal documents, because you would have to say the father is unknown.

REMEMBER this one very important thing: Whatever you do you are going to have to explain to your child, and he/she will ask. If you decide to leave his name off you should pray everyday he asks you why and not his father.

This seems harsh, but I've been there, done that. My advice: be nice, even when you want to scratch his eyeballs out. Never badmouth him to your child not matter what he says about you, kids know. Keep offering, make him turn you down, converse calmly as much as possible.

About the money, if you're sure you can make it on your own. Open a joint savings account, that way in case of emergency you have access. If you're not sure, child support is for support of the child as he is growing up, not to be given in one lump sum when he turns 18.

Answer 5

I'm not sure but I thought unless you were legally married then the only way to put a man's name on the birth certificate is by signing a Voluntary Paternity Acknowledgment form. I wasn't sure if you had been married but unless he comes to the hospital and signs the forms I don't think it is your decision. Here's the link of info. below:

Answer 6

What an unhappy situation!

I think you have to consider what is best for the child; would contact with his father help him, or would it be better that he never see this man who can't be bothered to show any interest?

I'm sorry to hear your story, and I pray that you have many kind friends and relatives who will help you. This is surely your hour of need...and, the father is *already* absent.

Good luck, dear; I hope you're ok.

Answer 7

well i dont know Winsconsin law but i know in arkansas he can request a paternity test to make sure that the baby is his and if it is then he can sue for right no matter if you put his last name or yours...also you can always get supervised visitation by court and i dont think you can do that with the child support because if he refuses and you sue to get it and courts approve then they will garnish his wages before he even gets his check and the money will be sent to you.

Answer 8

Wisconsin is a VERY tough state to recieve benefits. I would explain to the TANF worker that you have a Domestic Violence situation,,,, that puts you in a good spot in terms of their time limits and sanctions...and you don't have to add the father to the BC due to "safety reasons."

Answer 9

you can put him on the birth certicicate but you don't have to give your baby his last name. You can give your baby your last name and he will have to come across on paying child support..

My sister done the above ^^...........

Then again when you do have your baby he may straighten up..alot do then alot don't.

Good luck and congrats

Answer 10

think about ur baby tho, they have the right to know who their dad is. so if bub never sees him, and learns what a loser is, and for some reason u never mention his name, what if bub wants to find loser dad later and ur dead or moved away or forgotten (altzimhers? sp) or sumthin.. its worth thinking about.