Joke again bit long but worth a laugh?

Question

During a long trip a man decided to rest for few hours and
they checked into a hotel and slept for few hours. While were leaving the desk clerk handed them a bill for $350. The man exploded, and said the bill was too high, asking to see the manager. The manager met them at the front desk and explained that the hotel has an olympic pool and a conference room and they were available for the couple's use.
"But we didn't use them!" the man complained.
The manager insisted that the room and pool were available for them, as well as tickets to several shows.
The man explained they didn't use any of those things, to which the manager replied,
"But you could have."
Finally, needing to get back on the road, the man wrote a check for $100.
The manager shouted "This is only for $100."
The man replied,
"That's right. I charged back you $250 for sleeping with my wife."
"But I didn't sleep with her!" the manager said.
The man smiled and said,
"Yeah, but she was here and you could have."

Answer 1

Hhahahaha funny Pd, funny say it again..lol

Answer 2

ROTFL. Here are a few for you

What is the time?
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A man is strolling past the mental hospital and suddenly remembers an important meeting.

Unfortunately, his watch has stopped, and he cannot tell if he is late or not. Then, he notices a patient similarly strolling about within the hospital fence.

Calling out to the patient, the man says, "Pardon me, sir, but do you have the time?"

The patient calls back, "One moment!" and throws himself upon the ground, pulling out a short stick as he does. He pushes the stick into the ground, and, pulling out a carpenter's level, assures himself that the stick is vertical.

With a compass, the patient locates north and with a steel ruler, measures the precise length of the shadow cast by the stick.

Withdrawing a slide rule from his pocket, the patient calculates rapidly, then swiftly packs up all his tools and turns back to the pedestrian, saying, "It is now precisely 3:29 pm, provided today is August 16th, which I believe it is."

The man can't help but be impressed by this demonstration, and sets his watch accordingly.

Before he leaves, he says to the patient, "That was really quite remarkable, but tell me, what do you do on a cloudy day, or at night, when the stick casts no shadow?" The patient holds up his wrist and says, "I suppose I'd just look at my watch."


Grandma Goes to Court
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Defense Attorney: What is your age?

Little Old Woman: I am 86 years old.

Defense Attorney: Will you tell us, in your own words, what happened to you?

Little Old Woman: There I was, sitting there in my swing on my front porch on a warm spring evening, when a young man comes creeping up on the porch and sat down beside me.

Defense Attorney: Did you know him?

Little Old Woman: No, but he sure was friendly.

Defense Attorney: What happened after he sat down beside you?

Little Old Woman: He started to rub my thigh.

Defense Attorney: Did you stop him?

Little Old Woman: No, I didn't stop him.

Defense Attorney: Why not?

Little Old Woman: It felt good. Nobody had done that since my Abner passed away 30 years ago.

Defense Attorney: What happened next?

Little Old Woman: He began to rub my breasts.

Defense Attorney: Did you stop him then?
Little Old Woman: No, I did not stop him.

Defense Attorney: Why not?

Little Old Woman: Why, Your Honor, his rubbing made me feel all alive and excited. I haven't felt that good in years.

Defense! Attorney: What happened next?

Little Old Woman: Well, I was feeling so spicy that I just spread my old legs and said to him, "Take me, young man, Take me!"

Defense Attorney: Did he take you?

Little Old Woman: Hell, no. That's when he yelled, "April Fool!"….And that's when I shot the son of a B****!

Answer 3

Quick Thinker
A man walked into the produce section of his local supermarket, and asked to buy half a head of lettuce. The boy working in that department told him that they only sold whole heads of lettuce. The man was insistent that the boy ask his manager about the matter.

Walking into the back room, the boy said to the manager, "Some asshole wants to buy half a head of lettuce." As he finished his sentence, he turned to find the man standing right behind him, so he added, "And this gentleman kindly offered to buy the other half."

The manager approved the deal, and the man went on his way.

Later the manager said to the boy, "I was impressed with the way you got yourself out of that situation earlier. We like people who think on their feet here."

"Where are you from, son?"

"Texas, sir," the boy replied.

"Well, why did you leave Texas?" the manager asked.

The boy said, "Sir, there's nothing but whores and football players down there."

"Really?" said the manager. "My wife is from Texas."

"No ****???" replied the boy. "Who'd she play for?"

Answer 4

Now that's a terrific joke for the married & divorce group (LOL)

Answer 5

That's funny. Nice one.

Answer 6

read a real funny one after a long time

Answer 7

Now that man was a quick thinker.

Answer 8

That's one heck of a way to avoid paying so high.. wonder who will actually apply them in real life...


Cheers.. (",)

Answer 9

haha i heard it before but it's still awesome! lol check ya later ♥♥♥

Answer 10

great joke.. hear mine which is not so cool..
1st guy: hey how did you get here?
2nd guy: i ride a motor...
1st guy: but youre fat. you ride the motor or the motor ride you?
2nd guy: my motor is cool. i even park it in my pocket.
1st guy: your pocket?? what kind of motor is that!?
2nd guy: my Motorola.....

hahah motorola is a handphone hahahahaha