Is it irrational to be angry that the woman I have been seeing for 3 years frequently communicates with exes?

Question

I have been seeing someone for 3 years. She regularly communicates with exes on myspace and by telephone. The myspace profile is secret. She says her exes are just "friends" and refuses to delete them from myspace and/or to stop talking to them. One of them she meets for drinks while with her girlfriends (without me present). I feel that her communication with these men is disrespectful to me, and wrong, even if they are "just friends." She is 38 years old. What do you think? Am I being irrational or too insecure?

Answer 1

I have a question. Are you "seeing" her or are you living with her? If you are just seeing her, you have no authority over her. She can do as she wishes. If you are not her husband, you have no right to tell her who she can and can't talk to on the Internet. In a previous question you mentioned she has over a hundred men with whom she converses. Did you disrespect her privacy and hack into her myspace?

Not only do I feel you are being irrational and insecure, you are being controlling and disrespectful. If the relationship has gone on three years and she hasn't committed to you, she definitely has second thoughts. If you are this controlling now, what will you be like if you two marry?

I suggest you do a double think, because that appears to be what she is doing in regards to your relationship.

Sorry fella.

Answer 2

I don't think that you're being irrational or insecure. An ex is an ex for a reason. Evidentily she wants to have her cake and eat it too. I believe that she is being disrespectful to you, and not taking your feelings into consideration at all. I don't believe that an ex can be just a friend because there has been intimate relations between the two. It does'nt sound to me as though she really cares about you or your feelings. She's still holding on to the past. Sounds like it's time to move on. I wish you all the best. Sounds like you've been very considerate.

Answer 3

I totally believe you're insecure. I happen to remain friends with exes...and it's strickly friendships...people don't understand...especially men...that a woman can have an ex as a friend..that is if the flame is out...which in my case..it is...I feel no attraction or chemistry with anyone of them...that is why I can remain friends with them...so I wouldn't worry if I were you...your insecurities will only push her away...as far as myspace is concern...You should do the same thing...no one takes myspace serious..If I were you...I wouldn't either...It's a joke to think she would actually want to settle down with or date someone on myspace......stop being so insecure...it's a turnoff..trust is the key to a relationship...either you do or you don't...Good Luck

Answer 4

I just went through that with a relative of mine and her old man. I know that I can get jealous...it's called mutual respect. I don't like communicating with ex-es because you ONCE had a relationship....leave the past in the past....if i don't want someone to do that to me, then i have to do the same in return...Myspace is nothing more than KIDDIE PORN to me ---=which all the child molesters and rapists like

Answer 5

if you've let her know that you don't like the communication, and she continues, then she is not respecting you. even if you decide to handle this, it's not healthy for you to be so angry. you shouldn't have to put up with it.

Answer 6

i dont kno wat 2 say about dat bcuz i dont kno ur gurl... n i dont kno whether shes trustworthy or not... but dont get 2 insecure n jealous... its cute @ 1st... but den it starts 2 get annoying... but if ur feeling really uncomfortable wit it... jus tell her...

Answer 7

No!! I would be mad 2!!
Good Luck!!