My neighbors invited me for dinner. I don't like to know my neighbors beyond a hello level because then they'll ask me to turn down my music or something. I think one of them likes me and another likes my buddy who I hang out with but I am not attracted to them. I also have germ issues about other people cooking for me who I don't know. I don't want to go but I don't know how this won't get awkward. Help!
2006-07-05 20:51:58 · 35 answers · asked by abean d 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
Just say, "Thanks for the invitation. I won't be coming." You don't need to provide a reason.
2006-07-06 17:32:09 · answer #1 · answered by drshorty 7 · 2⤊ 2⤋
In this day and age our neighbors are the only people who we truly SHOULD know as when something happens one needs each other as support and for help. I found this out during the 1989 earthquake in San Francisco. In the midwest churches have potluck dinners nearly every week. This sounds like an area where you could open yourself up to new experiences.
But...I guess if you are intent on not going tell them that you have another engagement and send flowers - or - tell them the truth. Say, "I am kind of an introverted person and have found I have little time for developing friendships - I am sorry but that is how I am.
Also you might read Phillip Slater's book, "The Pursuit of Loneliness" about how people now build huge fences to exclude neighbors from their lives and then sit in their backyards and complain about being lonely.
2006-07-05 20:59:33 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you say I cannot make it tomorrow, they ll invite you the day after . . .
So forget that!
You can do the following:
Tell them is a very good idea but you are actually on a diet and you would like to join them for a coffee or ice cream or tea or whatever,
In this occasion you reduce significantly the time spend in their house
So you can spend 1hour- if they are exceptionally funny
you may do it again
If not- You will start saying you are busy and you ll keep that till they move out
You were open, you went, maybe you didn't like them and you can have that choice . . .
2006-07-06 02:15:00 · answer #3 · answered by just me! 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just go... freakin' it's their neighborhood and they have the right to know who lives next to them. HOWEVER, I get what you mean about the unwanted, possible sexual, tensions that may arise. Just tell them that you have a strict diet because of your concerns about food preparation... and assure them that it's nothing against them. Offer to bring a dish you've prepared yourself. Afterwards, don't ask anything of them or offer anything. They'll get the picture. Also, if they're your neighbor, they have EVERY right to ask you to turn down the noise level. They're protected by law on that one, wether they know you or not... Sorry and Good Luck!!!
2006-07-05 21:37:02 · answer #4 · answered by Mexi Poff 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
We had this problem a year ago, from all sides of the fence.
The best thing to do is to be busy, when asked.
ie. Sorry I have brought home all this work that needs to be done by tomorrow.
Then when you get a chance, entertain your own guests, and DON'T invite the neighbours. In time they'll get the message.
I feel for you. Good luck!
2006-07-05 21:03:06 · answer #5 · answered by Todd's 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel your pain.
I too like to keep most neighbors at a distance.
I have handled the situation previously by accepting the invitation, and then making trouble over politics and religion when I got there.
No more invites, just friendly waves from across the street from then on.
:-)
2006-07-05 20:58:44 · answer #6 · answered by timthinks 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's a difficult situation because the usual excuses can't work when someone knows your work schedule and how often you are away from home. The way I would handle it is to say you are touched they were thinking of you, but will have to decline. A few declines will cause them to stop asking. Depending on their maturity level, though, it may cause future problems.
2006-07-05 20:56:54 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be honest. Tell them that you just don't feel comfortable with going over their house just yet. After you tell them that, invite them to a non-threatening spot that you trust, like a restaurant, and get them know them better. That is all you can do.
2006-07-05 20:57:05 · answer #8 · answered by soulfli 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell them you have other plans! If they ask you what other plans you have tell them to mind their own business! Then go running down the street screaming and waving your arms above your head like a lunatict!
2006-07-05 20:56:06 · answer #9 · answered by Jimmy Pete 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your neighbors know you just maybe they will ask you to turn down your loud music INSTEAD of calling the COPS.!Germ issues?, Do you eat at home.?(you got germs) do eat out? (you got germs) do you eat period? ( you got germs they are EVERYWHERE!)
2006-07-05 21:13:08 · answer #10 · answered by MC 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just tell them you have a very particular diet or something, but thank you for the invite.
Sometimes, it's OK to tell little white lies, rather than hurt their feelings.
2006-07-05 20:55:56 · answer #11 · answered by Dolphin lover 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋