My Ex boyfriend cheated on me twice because i refused to have a threesome with him and some chik.?

Question

Well, as u must have guessed, i've since ended it. But he hasnt stopped trying to get me back. He has a son whom i adore..and i cant help but feel he's using him to warm his way back into my life. I do want to be there for his son.....but this guy really really hurt me..... am confused as to how to handle the situation. What to do, pls....?

Thanks Everyone For All Your Concern And Lovely Advise.

And Yes, You Are Right, Fishcake. Cheers !

Answer 1

First of all you have to stay firm and do not get into a romantic/sexual relationship with him. For him to want you to be part of a threesome means he doesn't care about you at all. For him to cheat on you because you didn't is so childish and immature, the guy must have real problems. He only wants to use you. I can understand your feelings about his son. It's too bad he has a jerk for a father.

I too had a relationship where I learned that my G/F had been cheating on me and she had a boy and a girl. I loved those kids so much. I stayed in the relationship longer because I didn't want to lose the relationship with her kids but it was't good for me to do that.

I would say that if you can maintain the relationship with the son but not the father fine, but I don't know if that's possible. It may give the jerk father hope that he can manipulate you to go back with him and have him try to do that for a longer time.

Please don't get back with this jerk. He will not only hurt you he will waste the time that you could be spending looking for a good man that will treat you as you deserve to be treated.

Answer 2

How old is his son? If he's really young, you would be best to walk away completely, but if he's of a more understanding age, I understand it'll make it difficult (I have a niece who is 2 and adorable but because I only see her every few weeks, I could disappear and she wouldn't notice much though I have no intention of doing so!) Unfortunately, someone who has cheated on you twice like that and tries to blame you is a coward (in my opinion). He doesn't deserve you, and I don't think he realises his responsibility to his son fully either. He's selfish and more interested in his own feelings than yours.

I would never require my wife (as it would be for me though I know all are different) to do anything she didn't want to do, and whilst I'd not go into details here, I'd certainly not ask for someone else to join us - sex is a loving act between a man and a woman.

Are there ways you can visit his son, perhaps a form of custody (though I'm guessing that would be difficult to argue in court), without having to see him? Would he leave him with you or with a relative or friend for you to visit/take on days out?

I don't think you'll get a definitive answer from the details you've offered, but I hope at least one is truly helpful.

Answer 3

Sounds like you have some choices to make. Either be willing to experiment with the three-way thing he wants, or forget about being a factor in his son's life. Don't assume that one choice is better than the other, but really explore your own heart about it.

For example, does which girl is the third person make a difference? If he's willing to let you have veto power over who it is, but wants you to try the "big love" concept, then perhaps it's not so bad. Do you have a friend who is close enough to you that the two of you could share him?

On the other hand, perhaps it is unrealistic for you to want to be important to his son. Little kids are sweet, and it's hard to give up being close to one that you love. But if it costs you too much emotionally to accept what his father wants, then realize that the child will not resent your keeping your distance. He will understand that it is a grown-up thing, and (sorry to say) probably simply forget you.

Answer 4

Well if u love the kid u can always see him as a friend of his dad but dun let that keep u in a relation were u r desrespectd if he loves u he wont ever do what he is doing
BESIDE!! sometimes we use an excuse to hide the truth even for us maybe u really love this guy and u dun want to go away so as an excuse even to ur self u might using the kid matter by ur self so hun be honest with ur self u dun desreve this he cant stop u from seeing the kid and even if he did it doesnt matter more than u r life and self respect
wish u luck!

Answer 5

Get as far away from him as you can. Number one, sex should be only between people who are married or it makes you cheap and used. No man who respects a woman and loves her, would even consider having sex. Put God first in your life. Get into a good Bible teaching church and God will lead you in the way you should go and live and when you are right with Him, He will bring you someone. Children are the ones that get hurt the most, but just think how the dad is teaching a child to live...yuck..not much of a man to me. Have a blessed week.

Answer 6

Since when is being refused a threesome a valide reason for cheating on your girlfriend? Don't be daft, he just cheated on you and is trying to make you feel like it's somehow your fault, don't give an inch to this type of bullying. Now he's using you affection for his kid to manipulate you into being his girlfriend again, what a jerk.

Answer 7

A typical problem of what males want and what a female gives.
Males want more and more which may not be the case with females. And cheating also arises from this situation only.
Still, 3 some or more is the individual decision and he should respect it.

Answer 8

dump his a**. find someone who will respect you and respects women. You should be more important to him than this threesome fantasy he has. You have to be strong and ignore the son even though you have an emotional tie to him.

Fantasies like this may feel good to fulfill at the time, but it is not worth loosing someone specail over and he lost you.

Answer 9

Firstly its OK for him to ask you to participate, nothing wrong with that if you both want it, but seeing you didn't and he then felt the need to cheat on you TWICE, darling listen, he doesn't respect you sexually and is obviously looking for more in that area and always will be. you seem a nice girl, move on and find someone that doesn't need you to prove anything to them. I appreciate your love for his son, but just imagine how hard it will be to tear yourself from the boy in another couple of years X

Answer 10

Is his name George Anderson? Just asking because I went with a guy that had some children and always used to ask me to have a threesome!