id like an honest answer from guys or girls whoever???

Question

My bf of 2yrs is working alot and he has alot of stress and is overdue for holidays but lately ive noticed that our sexlife has gone down hill. In the beginning it was like 2 times daily, but im happy with like twice a week to 3 times a week, but now were lucky to fit in once a week. As his at work but when his home he doesnt feel like it either now. I have felt alot too like rejection, like his sick of the same me, we have been together 2yrs like i said.. But im not bored with him, im so into him i havent changed. I work 9-5 so i guess i got it easier. I always feel so guilty if i want sex and he doesnt. We some times have disagreements about it to as he feels bad that he doesnt want it so i get uptight as i think his not attracted to me! Whats going on with me. His 22 and im almost 21. He wants to marry me, his said that and i love himj i just want to have a normal sexlife to. Is that so much to ask? Any idea's on how i can spice it up, or help him sorta want me more.

i no his tired from work but I NEED SOME HELP??

Answer 1

Well do this, when he comes home from work have a bubble bath ready put on some slow music and have a candle light dinner ready. When he's done with his bath give him a nice oil message kiss him on his neck and on his back then bite his ear. this right here should get him in the mood after that slowly start the sex and make sure that while your doing it try diferent positions and try something you've never done before. now if this doesnt lead to great sex then sorry to tell ya but he just might be cheating. GOOD LUCK

Answer 2

We have the same exact problem we are quite a bit older than you BUT I say dress up in something sexy and light some candles and plan an evening when hes either off work or he hasnt had to work long hours and make it really romantic, Do something different. Cook him dinner first by candlelight and then take a bath or a shower with him and go from there... Rub his back. If he says nothing is wrong nothing is probably wrong things tend to slow down ALOT after a yr or two. TRUST ME we are going on 4 yrs now and we went from 2 or 3 times a day to once a week if we are lucky. GOOD LUCK!!!

Answer 3

There is nothing wrong with you. It is normal to feel unloved when a person doesn't get as much sex as they want from their partner,even if you know that it's because he's tired from stress and working too much. The reason you feel guilty when you want sex and he doesn't is that feelings are not rational. In your mind you understand that he's tired but your body doesn't care about that.

How can you get him more interested. All men are supposed to be stimulated sexually first by visual things. That's all I really know about all men. In case your B/F is like me. You might try coming into the room with your blouse open and no bra on, then give him a pasionate kiss and put his hand on you and kiss him again. If he likes sexy black panties and bra, come into whatever room he's in dressed only in that. If he's in the kitchen or where ever and on his feet, try coming to him, hug and kiss him, tell him how much you love him while you have your hand down the front of his pants and are stimulating him. If you do these things well before bedtime you are not depriving him of any sleep but if it were me, my tiredness would go away fast and I would feel grateful afterward. I would also be proud that I had such a sexy G/F who liked my body so much.

As I've been thinking about this, it seems to me, the tactic I would try is to stimulate him visually and physically at the same time. If your B/F thinks it's hot when you talk dirty to him I would try that too. Tell him graphicall in detail all the things that you want him to do to you while at the same time that you have your hand in his pants. These are all things I would have loved if my X-wife had done to me/for me, but she never would do.

If I was your B/F it would work for me. Of course part of the long term solution is to get him to work less hours and to take some vacation. I don't know how possible this is, but long term he needs to do this, not only for your sexlife but also for his mental health.

Answer 4

Men under stress can have a hard time having sex (they can't get it up). There is no "normal" amount times to have sex. It's individual. Every day for some and twice a month for others. If you love him enough that should not matter the most to you. Is he kind, faithful, honest, and all the rest of the stuff that matters in a relationship. If the answer is yes then the both of you should discuss this. But ultimately if he just can't he can't. It may not be a case of won't.

Answer 5

well if sex is so vital to you whether or not you feel tired and want the same reaction from him too,then dress yourself in a more provocative way to turn him on or somethin.

Don't feel rejected.I can understand why he doesnt want it badly.Dont pressure him too much.Sex is something you both should enjoy and have fun with instead of being the subject of your quarrels.His busy work schedule already uses up most of his energy and what he needs most when he's home is a comfortable place to rest his tired bones.you could maybe cook him up some of his favourite meals.You know reward him with good food .He'll notice how much you cared for him and supports his career and in return he may give you the best sex you wanted.
They say, the way to a man's heart is to satisfy his stomach.

Try some aphrodisiacs.Chocolates are definitely a good source.

Play up with the decorations in your bedroom too. Put sweet floral scented stuffs,flowers,you know all this can boosts his mood.
Dont give up and dont blame yourself if your effoerts are in vain.Talk to him nicely.

Answer 6

People have varying degrees of needing/wanting sex. At this time in your lives, it seems that you simply have a higher sex drive than your boyfriend does. Both are normal. Perhaps he's undergoing a lot of stress at work or is going through some emotional times. Maybe you two could get away on a short vacation? If your needs continue to be different, you need to re-evaluate what you want out of your relationship. People's needs, values and priorities change throughout their lives.

Answer 7

tell him how you feel then ask him the same and remind him your a women and you have needs he has them to he is just more focused on work you know hearth and home thing he is trying to make things perfect remind him he is and always has made things good for you but he is forgetting a key part in a relation ship try cuddling first for 5 min then make it longer and see if stuff happens and there is alway exparmentation with each other pick up a book at your local book store but only do whats comfterbel to you both rember over time sex is not as important but it is still nice to have and you two make the rules

Answer 8

A lot of times stress can make you lose your sex drive. If there's any way that you can help him to relax and get some rest, that will probably help.

Encourage him to find a way to cut back on his hours, even if it means taking a pay cut or finding a new job. It sounds like he's gone full-bore workaholic, and if he doesn't get it under control soon, he could wind up making himself sick.

Answer 9

You're going to have to do the work yourself.

You can try wearing sexy thing and allusively posing for him. Every so often nudge him, play with him with on interest at all. Be a cat, make him know that you are there, but don't attack. After a while of that he should be pissed off enough to do the job.

Other than that, do it yourself; it's better than cheating or running around all frustrated.

Answer 10

Disagreements are normal.
However, if you want sex life, my idea is: you'd better marry him so that you 2 can enjoy sex life.
If he rejects your idea, never mind.
There are certainly more other stuff to do than sex life.
I have an older friend who has been married for rather a long time.
(Suppose my friend's name is "X". I don't want to violate any privacy act.)
X and his/er partner never had any children at all, yet X enjoys his/er life. X likes his/er job and enjoys doing it. S/He exercises every day. X has a pet too & almost each month s/he tells me funny stories between s/he and his/er pet.
(As for his/er partner, I don't know much. I'm sorry if I hadn't provided any information of him/er to you.)