Can you share advice and stories or wisdom about being in an unequally yoked marriage?

Question

For those of us who are Christian believers involved in marriages to a spouse who is unsaved and/or following another false religion.How do you cope with the spiritual divide?how do u gather courage and strength to witness to a spouse who may be hostile and angry to hear the word of God?How do you get over the feelings of spiritual lonliness how do you cope with your spouses other religion?What are some words of advice?????or experiences that you have had.

I was unsaved when i met my husband,i followed his religion for the first year of marriage and then came to Christ.This has caused me to be unequally yoked.

Answer 1

Don't try to change them, if you really love them, you should accept them for who they are.

But if you're really worried about them going to hell, perhaps you shouldn't believe in a God who would send them there.

Answer 2

I have never been married but I do have experience with unequally yoked relationships. There are many things that you can do:
1.Seek fellowship with other believers, because you cannot do it on your own. If your church is following Christ, they will love and support you. Seek cousel from someone in ministry, and talk to them about the specifics of your situation. You may want some time in the church by yourself, so that you can get involved without feeling restricted by your spouse's presence. After you get to know people, and they know your situation, try to get your spouse to go to church with you.
2.Remain firm in your beliefs; do not conform in any way to your spouse's beliefs.
3.Pray for, and ask prayer for your spouse.
4.Be an example to your spouse of what a loving Christian should be.
5.Study the Bible, and check out apologetics books like "Mere Christianity" by C. S. Lewis, and "Evidence that Demands a Verdict," so that you can be ready to give an explanation for what you believe.
6.Have level headed conversations about these subjects often.
-God will give you strength, and your church family will support you. God's word does not return void, and if you remain a firm believer in Christ, something has to give.

Answer 3

Honestly the best advice I have is that talk is cheap. Don't preach, just live what you believe. Proverbs 15:1 says A soft answer turns away wrath, But a harsh word stirs up anger. Too many time we try to hard to convince them with our words, but our action can seem so much louder to them. I know how hard it is to be married to an unbeliever, I got saved and my ex-husband didn't. We lasted about 3 years (married a total of 5) when He finally left me. But God remained faithful. Today I am married to a Christian and have two wonderful toddlers. That experience taught me how to lean on God and make Him my source. Truth be told that lesson has come in handy in my Christian marriage as well.

Answer 4

1 Peter3:1 tells us how it can be done to win over a husband or wife without a word but through our conduct and deep respect. So you say you want courage to witness to him, well 1stPeter shows us that the greatest witness you can give your husband is by your conduct without even so much as a word so rather than trying to witness with words which might fall on deaf ears anyway, you may get far better results by your silent witness of conduct and respect, and thereby also you might also solve your spiritual lonliness at the same time, but I guess you may have been expecting an easier way maybe some good words, though maybe you have you ever heard the saying that actions speak louder than words, this is so true I know of christian women and men that have had success by following that Bible advice and through their good conduct have achieved what no words would have done and even hostile angry spouses , have softened and changed their ways because of the good conduct from their spouses. I hope this helps you but I gues that only time will tell and your patience is also needed but with prayer to our heavenly Father and good conduct, anything is possible with the advice from God in his Word the Bible!

Answer 5

First of all, why did you marry someone that has a different religion than you?
Second, didn't you discuss how each of you felt before you got married?
Third, don't push your religion on your spouse, that will only push him away.
Let him see how happy you are with your religion, and once in a great while say something to him. Don't push and push until it turns into a holy war.
If you just can't live with him being of another religion or a non-believer, then the best solution would be to divorce. If you don't believe in divorce, then you continue to practice your religion and let him practice his. He'll either come around, or he won't.
Until you come to some kind of terms with it, I wouldn't think of bringing any children into the picture. Words of wisdom: You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink.

Answer 6

Its very hard..you as the woman has to stick with her faith and prove to the man that its our God...no other exist!
My mom goes through this as well w/ my step father that was a Sunday school teacher for 12 yrs..he still wont change even though he knows the right way to go.
You must be strong, happy and always stay on top! You have to show him that God is leading your life, God owns you, be so happy you smile ear to ear every minute, even if your day has not been the greatest. Soon he will see...that you are happy, that he can see God right there...make him see you, but most important show him that God has made you be the happy person you are.
DON'T ever let him get you down...I know its your marriage, but don't forget we get the ticket to Heaven...and you can try with him and let him know there is only 1 God, our God. But keep in mind you can NOT change him sweetie, only he can accept God in his heart, you can not make him! But if you have tried...then you have done your part and that's all you can do. I know that might sound in some what way crazy, but its the truth. Even though we want our loved ones, or friends and so on to join us for eternity in Heaven...we can only plant the seed...WE CANT MAKE IT GROW...they have to want it to grow.
I will pray for you & your husband ...just got done.
God bless & good luck!

Answer 7

we can be unequally yoked not just on religion difference. I am a christian for that matter. Its tough. But thats the road map for you. Just believe Jesus has His purpose for you and your spouse and generations below you. We do not live in isolated time and space. God sees the entire genealogy tree. From Leah to Jesus. All i can say is Prayers and Friends. Surround yourself with godly and supportive friends.

Answer 8

I am in an 'unequally yoked' marriage on the other side of the table. Honestly, it just pisses me off when my wife - the person I trust most on this planet - tries to "witness" to me. Here's a case where you might consider applying a popular Christian catch phrase, "let go, and let god".

Answer 9

1st-pray for revelation, wisdom, understanding, according to Gods will.
Then read and meditate on 1 Peter 3:1-6, Proverbs 31

Now, it is easier to tell someone to do this, than it is to actually do it.

Sometimes, out of love, we can be overzealous, and actually "run off our loved ones, with our "beating them over the head with our bibles." Sometimes, quite literally.(LOL) I have seen it lots of times, almost every time, especially with "baby or newborn christians". An overzealous wife/husband/brother/friend/so forth, heart is in the right place, and God knows that, but their methods just need "fine tuning".

God Bless, Keep, and Teach U

Answer 10

Tara, as a woman who has gone through that for a period, I have to tell you that the Biblical words of advice go against most woman's natural inclinations. It went against mine, that's for sure, but I've seen the fruits in my own marriage.

1 Peter 3:1, 2 Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives, 2 when they observe your chaste conduct accompanied by fear.In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives, 2 as they observe your chaste and respectful behavior.

Tara, if you are being abused, or if you have kids who are threatened, this verse doesn't mean you have to be a doormat and take it. Go someplace safe. But if his behavior is humanly acceptable and legal, but is not acceptable to God, the answer is (my Mom passed this to me after my dad died and my marriage was in trouble):

LOVE HIM, LOVE HIM, LOVE HIM.
Don't nag, Fix his favorite meals and keep the house clean, and cuddle whenever he wants. Take care of yourself. Don't wear yourself out caring for everyone else that there's no time to take care of him.

PRAY PRAY PRAY. God's most important job for you as his wife is to love and respect him, whether he's saved or not. You aren't the only way your husband can HEAR the gospel (there's radio, tracts, other people, too.) You are the number ONE way he will see the gospel lived out. You don't have to hide the fact that YOU are reading the Bible, though, and enjoying and benefitting from spiritual literature. If you leave it on YOUR reading table where he can see it (but not feel like its being forced on him) he might just get curious and pick it up to look at it.

Don't disrespect him by complaining about him to all your friends, even if it is to get "prayer support." Maybe one or two trusted people who have the best interests of both of you at heart, you could ask for their support in prayer.

Stay encouraged by small baby steps he makes towards God. Don't get discouraged by what you see, not ever. This may take a long time.

Answer 11

I share many of the same questions and struggles that you do.

I am finding my answers in the Word and by prayer. First of all, it was essential for me to understand my responsabilities to my spouse. The only grounds in the Bible for a divorce is adultery, death, or if an unbelieving spouse decides to leave.

1Corinthians 7:15 says that "if the unbelieving one leaves, let him leave." When an unbelieving spouse cannot tolerate the partner's faith and wants a divorce, it is best to let that happen in order to preserve peace in the family (Romans 12:18). The bond of marriage is broken only by death (Romans 7:2), adultery (Mt 19:9), or an unbeliever's leaving.

Nothing is more important that your spouses eternal salvation. We must not lose sight of the eternal in the midst of the natural discomfort of this life. If anything, these trials and tribulations should cause us to cling tighter to the Savior and trust in his consolation, strength, and provision. I thank God for you! I hope to see you in heaven one day!