People of Asian descent please answer!: How is it that most Asian children are extrememly well behaved? I am n

Question

People of Asian descent please answer!: How is it that most Asian children are extrememly well behaved? I am not trying to be stereotypical it is just that I rarely see anyone who is of Asian descent with an unruly child and would like some tips. My son is 16 months old. Do you punish or spank your children? What other means of discipline do you use?

Answer 1

secure upbringing, fillial piety, respect for elderly, lots of love, importance of education and hardwork, moral values, contribution back to society, ....that boils down to asian culture and the well being of kids.

No, this is not being racist though I am asian. I have lived in the west and east and have 2 young kids, generally it is true asain kids are more well behaved. But of course there are exceptions.

Answer 2

At this age, your son would know when he's done something wrong. If it's the first encounter, tell him that it's wrong, and he should not do it. Alternatively, show him the right way of doing it. When he's doing it right, praise him. Praise works very well for my daughter who is also 16 months.

Give him a warning first before you punish him. For example if you notice that he is just about to do something naughty, tell him that he's not supposed to do it but if he continues, you will punish him. When you say you will punish him, you must carry it out. If not, he will not take you seriously after some time.

For example: "Don't touch the wire. It's dangerous” He may not understand fully what danger is, but he will know that he's not supposed to touch the wire. If he does attempts to do it again, raise your voice a little louder. By the 3rd time or so (it depends on you really) give him a light smack on the hand. Again, for example, if he stretches out to touch a hot kettle which you warned him not to touch, tell him it's hot. Just telling him not to touch/do it without further explanation does not always work. I explained hot to my daughter my using slightly warmer water in a cup, and let her touch it. It won't burn, but it's hot enough to get the message through.

My daughter normally stop doing whatever she's not supposed to be doing by the 3rd warning, which I make it loud and clear. She might make a face or start whining. I'll ignore that. After a while, she knows she will not be able to get away with it and stop whining. An occasional smack does come in when she gets out of hand. Here’s a tip. For example, if he kicks someone, smack his leg, not his hand. It’s his leg that’s “naughty” not the hand. If he pulls someone’s hair, smack the hand, not the leg. It’s the hand that’s “naughty” not the leg. Remember also, it’s always the act, not the person. Tell him that you love him, but you do not approve of what he has done.

Don't use emotional blackmail and limit physical punishment. Most children will respond appropriately when they understand. So explain to them.

Good luck!

Answer 3

I am Filipina with a pre-teen daughter. She grew up not spanked nor punished. Normally when she has done something that displeased me, I point it out to her and then not speak for a while. I refrain from talking so that I can avoid saying things I may regret in the end. When I am already okay, I tell her what displeased me and explain to her why.

We also have a give and take relationship, if there's anything she wants from me, if it is something I can give her, I tell her she can get it but ask her what she can do for me in exchange.

I also do not shout at her. I just do not see the point in doing that.

How is she now? Well, she asks me permission for everything she does, she accepts it calmly when I say no to her, she is open to me (I even know the guys she has a crush on), she is on top 7 of her class of 202 students and she is well-disciplined in almost all aspects - she even wakes herself up at 5:30 am on school days. :)

Answer 4

My cousin has children who are of 1/2 Asian decent - and they are spoiled brats!

My kids are 1/2 white 1/2 italian - well behaved, in advanced curriculums, and can be taken out in public without temper tantrums. I don't spank my children. That's abuse.

You are being racist and stereotypical. It's not the color that makes the person, it's the parents that make the person.

Answer 5

I spent my early childhood in Vietnam and remember getting spank a lot--for not being first in class and stuff like that. Expectations of me was really high. When we came to the US, my parents learn of the child abuse laws and I didn't get spank so much, but the fear and expectations were already instilled in me at a young age. So, I was a good girl growing up (at least I appeared to be). However, the list of negative effects being raised like had on me is so long I'm not even going to starting listing them.
Now I'm a mother with two toddlers and what I learn really helps is to pay attention. Timeout works for my older child (age 3), but does nothing for my younger one (age 2). Confiscation of toys usually works for both. My children are no angels though. My younger one once lay on the floor in a Denny's and scream her head off because we didn't let her run around the place. When we got home, we took away her toys and explain what she did was bad. She had to earn her toys back with good behavior and she hadn't thrown anymore tantrum in public since.
Now, the important thing to remember is to be consistant and never let a bad behavior slide.

Answer 6

My great-great granfather was Chinese-Mexican but eveyone else is just Mexican... Does that count... Anyway, I laughed when I read your question. Are you for real!!!? You must have never been to many places with asian kids... especially boys... LORD... they can be spoiled!!! Especially with that whole "prince of the house, boys are better", discipline can be harmful to his character, blah-blah... I don't agree but that's just me, of course. I have a son and he's not NEARLY as spoiled rotten as some of the Asian kids we've encountered... But in all fairness, we've met just as many who were well behaved... so, maybe you have yet to see the other half?

Answer 7

My dad's chinese and... He came into the whole family business with the additude that- he is the big guy, and the kids are there to help the family and stuff, not that parents are there to raise the children, if that makes sense. Now a days parents always try to please their children, I guess being an asshole is being a good parent. Set curfews, rules, etc. It's kind of common sense.. I don't know how to explain it.

Answer 8

im an asian and its not about beating the child. maybe some do, and honestly, that way works.. but it may haf some side effects wen dey r bigger.
tis is wad some parents do.. they beat the children wen younger.. not Very hard.. just to make dem remember..so that dey will not repeat deir mistakes. wen dey r older, the parents talk to dem n make sure it sticks in deir head.
another thing is just,,,, the surroundings. we r surrounded by decent ppl.. n so.. it influences us.
its mostly about the way the parents bring the kid up. if u train him earlier, he'll get used to the rules in the house.

gluck!

Answer 9

I never really noticed. But my mother ALWAYS had very good communication with me. And i find that i do with my daughter. I know i shouldn't spank her when she acts up. it's not very effective. all kids have their moments. but then again, in japan, it's NOT acceptable for certain behaviors. but not really sure how they enforce that.

I DON"T think it's that stereotypical. A person's heritage and culture often do mold their behaviors. So there is a difference.

Answer 10

it's because their parent r really strict and children get hits in asia if they dont do wat they r supposed to do or if they get bad grades or if they get in trouble for doing someting they r not supposed to do
the children in asia dont get the freedom they do like in us.
their parent hold the power so that why
i got hit b4 now i'm use to it lik for getting bad grade not completing works not having proper behavior and stuff....