Oh, and just how do you think I can just suddenly stop being irritable? It's not like I can just snap my...

Question

fingers and be cheery.

and if you're a guy, don't even think for a moment that you get it.

It is not my behavior I'm trying to modify. In *real* life I'm acting fairly civil. hahaha. I guess I'm letting my feelings out on here too much. But it's the INNER feelings I am talking about, that I'd like to get rid of.

Answer 1

Okay, I'm going to venture that your inside turmoil is in part caused by being overly conscious of maintaining your outward behavior.

You have nice girl syndrome. Takes one to know one!

I was taught early how to have acceptable, nice, behavior - whether it reflected what was going on inside me or not.

Trouble is, when your insides and your outsides don't match up you begin to feel like your life is a lie. I felt like a fraud and like I couldn't let anyone too close, even though that's what I longed for, because I had to have some down time when I didn't have to keep up the charade.

Hormones can definitely be a problem. Stress doesn't help. But feeling like you have to hold the outside together no matter how the inside suffers can make you crazy inside. And that makes your hormones and your stress worse.

I worked with a counselor to work on matching my inner and outer life. It's still a struggle some days. It's easy to revert back to your primary training. ;o)

I also found that "Boundaries" by Henry Cloud and John Townsend was tremendously helpful to me.

Irritability is a symptom. Symptoms are there to alert you to a problem. If you just take an aspirin instead of finding out why you have a fever, it's just going to get worse until your life is adequately interrupted and you are forced to seek answers.

Emotional symptoms work much the same way. They are not the problem in and of themselves. They point to something deeper. Heal the deeper issue and you heal the symptom.

Answer 2

I don't think you can just suddenly stop being irritable when there is obviously something that has occurred that has made you feel that way. I think you should take some time to to examine what has caused you to feel that way in the first place. Once you have deciphered what is at the root of your irritability, figure out what you need to do to de-stress yourself. Doing that will allow you to examine the source of your irritation from a place of calm and logic. From that point you should be able to come up with a logical solution or solutions to resolve your issue. Sometimes, there is nothing in particular that is creating the sense of irritation, or it may be just one thing, or even a compilation of things. Often just going through the process of de-stressing yourself is enough to rid yourself of feeling irritable.

Answer 3

How you feel is a Choice you make! You have got into the habit of going with the feelings of irritation. You just need to take and Hour to your self RELAX reintroduce your mind and body to the feeling and then when you start to get irritated stop it before it gets a hold on you. it won't be easy but practice makes perfect!

Answer 4

Hon, you need to exercise. That is one way to make yourself be happier natured. It releases endorphins (the 'feel-good' hormones) to your brain. A good walk every day will help a lot, starting with the first walk. Regular walking also makes for less or less severe cramps.

Another way is to cut out or way, way down on eating (& drinking) sugar. Sugar makes ppl hyper AND irritable.

A third thing: eat a nutritious breakfast every day. (If you have to, go without supper one night so you will be hungry in the morning.)

You can try it or not, but if you're looking for an inexpensive solution, there's three.

Answer 5

Hi! We are human....we are women who have to put up with a lot.There are times where we just need to be left alone to feel grumpy as heck. This is quite alright! Get angry and purge yourself of your emotions.You don't need any ones permission to do so and you don't need to justify it either. Life is full of ups and downs.We go with the flow when we can. When we can't, it's up to us to value our anger as much as our happiness.If we deny ourselves to feel any emotion (anger included) we deny that part of ourselves that's human. It's OK to feel what you feel. Live one angry,irritable minute at a time and know that it was pass.

Answer 6

i'v been told im maby too care free, perhaps i am, im just tired of trying to impress everyone and trying to conquer everything, it cant be done, as far as my problems go, why let them get to me, stressing wont make them go away or help the cause, i fuiger i'll just do my thing and try, if i succed hooray me, if i dont well maby i will on another occasion.

dont conform to anyone's standards, you just go and be as irritable as YOU want to be, but dont let people make you irritable, they're not worth stressing over

Answer 7

Hopefully,you aren't allegeric to chocolate.When I'm having a ***** attack, I find a few Lindt chocolate truffles take the edge off.And where the hell is it written that you have to be cheery?If your happy being grouchy,rock on.It's your deity given right.

Answer 8

You have my prayer for relief... I was married twice... Both wives suffered at times somthing terrable from all that business. And no it was not the cause of either divorce... Both appreciated my concerns for there suffering in those times... but you are correct there is no way a man could undrstand... now of course I am going through the Prostate thing... THAT you can not understand :-)

Answer 9

Actually, what you're saying is true. When you're angry, you body is flooded with all kinds of stress hormones, and it takes a while for those to dissipate.

And some guys do get it, but I worry about them.

Answer 10

I know that if I am walking around the house screaming and cussing at the top of my lungs at my family and the church pastor calls, I stop pretty quick. If i can control my behavior...ummm...so can you?