okay...this is too much for me...but I love him and I am trying to deal with this. He has an ex wife who he has paid the mortgage on for the last 8 years. Last year, when we were separated, he bought a house with a GF and now has that mortgage to pay for....they split up when she realized he still loved me...He is now trying to sell the house of the ex wife to pay off part of the loan he made when he bought the new house....He has one more month to sell the old house....and has been spending all of his time trying to repair it to sell. I feel neglected and also, somewhat angry, that he bought this new house with the "old" girlfriend. It is also one house away from where his parents live, who also are raising his two children. I live in a very nice area and own my home. I don't see myself ever moving into the house he has recently bought. Whoever renuvated the place did a horrible job, besides the fact that he used the other gf to buy it with......what are your thoughts.
2006-07-05 17:17:34 · 27 answers · asked by JJ 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I forgot to tell you that I am 50 years old and he is 48. We have been going out for the past 4 years. I have broken up with him 2 times because of his situation, but I have never known a man who loves me like he does. As a result, I have gone back with him. I didn't think I ever would, considering the last gf and the house deal, but he assured me he was not going to buy the house with her. Then, the owner was going to sue for breach of contract and they went thru with it. The other gf only lived in the house for 2 months and then moved out. Her name is on the mortgage, but she has not paid for any of it since she left. Does this make any more sense??
2006-07-06 13:39:54 · update #1
you are right its too much, tell him to get his poop in a group and call you after he cleans up all his messes, then perhaps you'll consider it if you are still available but what do you need all this stress for. he makes stupid mistakes over and over (the same ones even) then wants you to stick by him while he straightens them out, sounds to me like once he's done with all that he'll leave you again to go screw up some more. time for him to grow up and deal with his own messes.
2006-07-05 17:23:57 · answer #1 · answered by dappersmom 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like to me he is financially way over his head. You on the other hand are steady, and have your own home. If you love him, and if you choose to stay with him, that's all well and fine. Just be prepared to get stuck with some of his financial burdens. It may or may not happen. Also, it sounds like he hasn't got very much responsibility since his parents are raising his children. What about if you have children together? Will he raise them with you, or will you be like a single parent even though you may still be with him? This is what I mean. Some people feel like they are single when they have been married for years, since the other party doesn't carry any of the responsibility. And if you break up after having kids, will he help support and raise these little ones? I don't know. I would probably say goodbye to him before either of you get more involved. But I don't know your entire situation. I hope you make the right choice for you and him.
Good luck.
2006-07-06 00:27:36 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I really don't think he knows what he wants. But what I would do if I was you, you say you own your own house, I would stay in my house and let him do what he wants to since he is so mixed up. Don't let him live with you either. He has too many issues to deal with right now. Since him and her has that mortgage together, he is still going to have dealings with her for some time to come yet.
2006-07-06 00:27:29 · answer #3 · answered by SapphireB 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to find out why you want to be with a guy that has sooooooooooo much baggage!!! I mean, his parents are raising his children. You better think twice before you continue this relationship. Sounds like a lot of heartache in the future if you continue. He needs to get his life together before he should even consider starting another relationship.
2006-07-06 00:26:42 · answer #4 · answered by BluePassion 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like a soap opera. You sound like you have your feet planted on the ground. Realize he is a user. Just because you love him don't mean your have to leave your house for a messy life he has created. Tell him to take a hike. There are more fish in the sea.
2006-07-06 00:25:34 · answer #5 · answered by sally_little03 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Drop him like a hot potato! He's not worth your time or intellect. He's trouble and will never change. Go find some other man who's more deserving of you. If you stay with him, next thing you know, he'll be after your money and ruining your credit, unless of course you like the bad boy type.
2006-07-06 00:22:21 · answer #6 · answered by Radworks 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
man this guy is a bag full of problems. whats next if he gets mad at you he will go out and buy his new girlfriend a condo??? i mean really , why even put up with this drama he is causing, all for love, i dont think so.i think you should get rid of this guy, what did he buy you not a house, he skipped you, he bought his ex wife a house and his girlfriend but not you, yeah thats love.
2006-07-06 00:25:23 · answer #7 · answered by Christina 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know him but it sounds like you have it together and he does not. He seems to get committed to women pretty fast without thinking through the consequences. He does not sound very level headed. I know you love him, but is this a deal breaker for you? Because, this sounds like a lot to deal with and it seems like you are the type of person that is above that kind of drama. It kind of seems like you are out of his league and you should not settle. But I may be wrong and if you feel you are not then stay, but I think this is kind of a messy deal.
2006-07-06 00:26:17 · answer #8 · answered by melissa_anne_maison 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
JJ LISTEN! if you don,t act like or at least love yourself how is it that you can give it to your boyfriend? think about it,aren,t you worth more then what this guy is putting you through? i am not telling you this because it is the right thing to say,but i am telling you this because i was the woman you are i thought that if i took cramp from the one guy that said he love me that he would never leave me,when you feel so bad that you don,t want to go on with your life then the little strenghth that you have left you need to take that and leave him..because if you don,t have any love for yourself then how are you going to give it to him.....stay strong,you are stronger then you think
2006-07-06 00:38:46 · answer #9 · answered by 0samaria s 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am currently sad that you have to ask this question, when it seems so painfully obvious to the rest of the world. Run, don't walk, away from this guy. Maybe add some screaming while you are running, because you deserve it after putting up with this...
2006-07-06 00:21:55 · answer #10 · answered by Roach25486 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋