does anybody know any good blonde jokes?

Question

There were three people stranded on an island, a brunette, a redhead, and a blonde. The brunette looked over the water to the mainland and estimated about 20 miles to shore. So she announced, "I'm going to try to swim to shore." So she swam out five miles, and got really tired. She swam out ten miles from the island, and she was too tired to go on, so she drowned.
The second one, the redhead, said to herself, "I wonder if she made it." I guess it's better to try to get to the mainland than stay here and starve." So she attempts to swim out. The redhead had a lot more endurance than the brunette, as she swam out 10 miles before she even got tired. After 15 miles, she was too tired to go on, so she drowned.
So the blonde thought to herself, "I wonder if they made it! I think I'd better try to make it, too." So she swam out 5 miles, ten miles, 15 miles, NINETEEN miles from the island. The shore was just in sight, but she said, "I'm too tired to go on!" So she swam back.

Answer 1

the olympic team of us swimmers w2as just 3 peopl. a blond, brunete and redhed (all female). they had 3 races to c hoo was bettr. the blond kickd butt on the freestyle and bakstrok. but it took her a few hours to do the breaststroke, and lost the race completely. the coach asks wat the problm was and the blond yelld in an angry tone "they CHEATED! they used theyre arms!"

Answer 2

This blind guy goes into a bar sits down and asks if anyone wants to hear a really good blonde joke. The bartender says to him i wouldn't do that if i was you. I'm not a very small man and I'm blonde, the guy beside you who is also blonde, is a pro boxer in Argentina. The man on your other side is a blonde is one of America's most wanted fugitives. The guy behind you (blonde) loves to sumo wrestle ( good at it too ). Now, that, that is said to you still want to tell the joke. The blind man replies with, "No thanks, then i will have to explain it 4 more times.

Answer 3

A blonde is driving her five year old to a friend’s house when another car races in front and cuts them off, nearly causing an accident. "Douchebag!" the mother yells. A moment later she realizes the indiscretion, pulls over, and turns to face her son. "Your mother just said a bad word," she says. "I was angry at that driver, but that was no excuse for what I said. It was wrong. But just because I said it, it doesn’t make it right, and I don’t ever want to hear you saying it. Is that clear?" Her son looks at her and says: "Too late, douchebag."

Answer 4

The Interview


Three Blondes were all applying for the last available position on the Texas Highway Patrol.

The detective conducting the interview looked at the three of them and said, "So y'all want to be cops, huh?"

The blondes all nodded.

The detective got up, opened a file drawer and pulled out a folder.

Sitting back down, he opened it and pulled out a picture, and said, "To be a detective, you have to be able to detect. You must be able to notice things such as distinguishing features and oddities such as scars and so forth."

So saying, he stuck the photo in the face of the first blonde and withdrew it after about two seconds. "Now," he said, "did you notice any distinguishing features about this man?"

The blonde immediately said, "Yes, I did. He has only one eye!"

The detective shook his head and said, "Of course he has only one eye in this picture! It's a profile of his face! You're dismissed!"

The first blonde hung her head and walked out of the office.

The detective then turned to the second blonde, stuck the photo in her face for two seconds, pulled it back and said, "What about you?
Notice anything unusual or outstanding about this man?"

The second blonde said, "Yes! He only has one ear!"

The detective put his head in his hands and exclaimed, "Didn't you hear what I just told the other lady? This is a profile of the man's face! Of course you can only see one ear!! You're excused too!"

The second blonde sheepishly walked out of the office.

The detective turned his attention to the third and last blonde and said, "This is probably a waste of time, but... "He flashed the
photo in her face for a couple of seconds and withdrew it, saying, "All right, did you notice anything distinguishing or unusual about this man?"

The third blonde said, "I sure did. This man wears contact lenses."

The detective frowned, took another look at the picture and began looking at some of the papers in the folder. He looked up at the blonde with a puzzled expression and said, "You're absolutely right! His bio says he wears contacts! How in the world could you tell that by looking at his picture?"

The blonde rolled her eyes and said, "Well, Helloooo! With only one eye and one ear, he certainly can't wear glasses."

Answer 5

A blonde went to the doctors complaining that she hurt everywhere. The doctor said, "oh come on, you can't hurt EVERYWHERE, be more specific." So the blond touched her elbow and said OW! Then she touched her knee and said OW! Then she touched her forehead and said, OW!

The doctor asked, "Miss, are you a natural blonde?" And the young lady said, "Why yes I am."

The doctor said, "I thought so. You have a broken finger."

Answer 6

hahahaha
heres mine what do you do if a blond throws a grenade at you?
pull the pin and throw it back........wait i've got another one there were two blondes one on one side of the creek and the other on the other side of the creek one blond said i'll come over to the other side of the creek and the other one says don't be silly you are on the other side of the creek

Answer 7

that is so cool i like i have to tell everyone that one cheers

here is my joke :
how do u make a blonde eye spikal shine a touch in her ear.

have a good one

Answer 8

how do you kill a blonde?

put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool.