This is probably a silly question to ask but anyway...?

Question

Ok this guy and I have been together for almost a month. He's not tried to hold my hand or anything but I get a goodnight hug every now and then and he pays when we go out. I can't figure out if he thinks we're dating exclusively or if we're just really good friends who just run around with each other every now and then and can date other people too. We've never really talked about it and I don't consider it being exclusive if he doesn't specifically ask me to be his girlfriend. I don't want to ask him something as silly as that if I can avoid it, I don't want him to think I'm some nutcase,lol, so what should I do?

Answer 1

It sounds like he is prolly just a little bit shy...I think it would be best if you outright ask him where he wants the relationship to go. Get him to be a little bit more comfortable with you. Its sounds like he's just a bit intimidated is all...so get him to open up...and it usually makes things easier if your open with him...and let him know its ok...so sit him down someplace comfy and ask him...talk to him freely...and encourage him to do the same...

Answer 2

Just keep in mind that Guys are from Mars Girls are from Venus, the golden rule is that we are not meant to understand them. So on that note if you want to know your just going to have to ask. Just be straight up and ask. If he is a good friend he will be honest, as maybe he is wondering the same thing so wouldn't it be a total waist of time if you both keep side stepping the issue.

For example had an incredible date last weekend. Great dinner movie and dancing. Perfect gentleman also as for the first time didn't try to expect to get into my pants after the first date. And here is the kicker even asked if it was okay to give me a kiss good nite. However, when he left said that if I wanted to get together again to give him a call. Well, I did however took me three time before I finally left a message. As crazy thoughts were racing through my head with him looking at the caller id thinking why is she calling that is not really what I meant etc... So finally after the third one, did leave a message. So now the ball is in his court so to speak as I did say call me and then we can chat. So if he doesn't call then I will have my answer, but if he does at least I took the chance of having something more.

Answer 3

You're right to not assume you guys are exclusive until you have 'the talk.' However, you deserve to know whether or not this is going anywhere at all. Why don't you tell him that you like him a lot and see what he says. Better do it now before you waste any unnecessary feelings on a guy who's just a good friend.

Answer 4

If he hasn't said anything you shouldn't feel silly to ask. How are you supposed to know unless you do? Its possible he's wondering the same thing. If you want to not ask outright here's how my now husband asked me to be exclusive with him. I told him I'd seen a friend who had seen he and I together at the mall and she asked if he was my boyfriend. I told her I didn't really know. Then he said if someone asks me that what do you want me to say? So you could try telling him someone asked you about it and you thought about and realized you'd never talked about it with him so what did he think you should say? If no one has asked you I will so you won't be lying. Is he your boyfriend or what? There now you've been asked.

Answer 5

About the only thing you can do is ask. People are so different. What some see as just a friendship, others see as a blooming relationship. And to prevent anyone from getting hurt, it's probably best if you just set him down one day & ask him what it is exactly that's going on between you two. Or else, it's untelling how long this could go on...

Answer 6

What do YOU want? I think it would be good to tell him what you desire...do you want an exclusive relationship? Do you want to be free to date others? I think it is time for you to have a conversation with him to see where you stand at this point. All couples need to have this sort of chat on a regular basis, just to see if everyone is on the same page.

Answer 7

Hmmmmmm this is a tough one. I think you should continue to go out with him but is this what you want? Do you want to date others too? If so, I wouldn't say a thing nor would I change a thing. But, on the other hand if you really only want him to date you I'd just ask. Something like "so, ummmm are we a item here?" or "ummmmm so, where do we go from here?" . It's a tough one alright. Hope this helped you.

Answer 8

You're describing almost the exact same weird situation my wife and I were in during our first year of dating. I was pathetic dating, so it took me eight months to hold hands, another two to kiss for the first time, and another month to tell her I loved her, although I felt the love at first sight.

It's unspoken that you're dating and he could just be very nervous or respects you alot (which was the case with me). If he's feeling what I think he's feeling then just ask him casually ", are we officially dating?" and see what he says...

Answer 9

i think you should get the nerve and ask him...not being mean but thats stupid if you dk if ur dating or not...don't you think?? So you really need to ask him and if he is like well that is stupid you can say something like well you don't act like it so i didn't know, and if he says why don't is seem like it tell him what you just told us. And if he says no and if you like him say well i really like you alot and i want to be more than just really good friends. if he don't go out with other firends...he just goes out with you to do things i would say yall was dating. And when you ask him if you are dating then you could make the first move on him....Well good luck!

Answer 10

Just ask him straight out how he feels about you, and if he thinks you really are special. Tell him you have fun going out on dates with him and will like to take the next step.. kissing. But only after he tells you how he feels about you.