I am 15 and my father has treated me like **** my whole life. He has lied to me countless times, abused my mom while they were still marryed, and tricked me into flying down to visit him (me and my mom moved 1000 miles away when they divoced). When i flew back he sent me to the ymca all summer and made me abide by my cruel stepmoms every command. He hasn't called me in 2 1/2 years and he called my phone last night but i didn't answer. What should i do? Do i call him back or avoid him for the rest of my life? Its really tearing me apart inside. I need to know what to do.
2006-07-05 15:07:00 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
i wouldnt call him to be honest
2006-07-05 15:11:21 · answer #1 · answered by esile619 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know what you are going through. If it has taken him this long to call maybe he is calling to offer a simple apology. Whether you decide to accept or not is totally different. I was abused in every way possible by my father as a child. Now, as an adult, I have decided to forgive him. Does that mean my children or I have a relationship with him? Certainly not. If I were you I would talk to him if not for any other reason than to let him know he cannot hurt you any longer. It may give you some closure.
2006-07-05 22:13:48 · answer #2 · answered by vanembryzoe 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that the next time he calls you should answer the phone and see what he wants. If he wants you to visit again you should be honest with him about how you felt about the last visit and tell him you dont want a repeat of that. If he does want to visit, suggest that he come to where you are and get a hotel for a couple days and that way you can decied what you and him do together. Tell him you feel uncomfortable going to him, and tell him all the things you could do together where your at. If he really wants to see you, he should agree to it. If he gets verbal at anytime, just hang up. Its hard not to have a father around, but its even harder having an abusive one around at any time!
Good Luck!
2006-07-05 22:26:56 · answer #3 · answered by starrynite1958 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
for one thing u can't ignore your father, because sooner or later you will see him again i garantee that. my dad is like that too so i know what is feels like, but hey, he is your dad and the fact that he treated you like****doesn't matter, well it does but he is your father afterall right? and i strongly suggest you first forgive him from the inside of your heart and then things will come, like you won't hate your dad as much and things like that. I have learned to forgive, and i already forgave my father for all the bad things and bad moments he made my family and i go through. please forgive your father i know it will be hard, but nothing in this life is easy!! but don't call your dad, if he calls then, i suggest you answer, and he doesn't call you should call him after you have forgiven him, because if not than all you will do is (man i can't find the right word..i know it in spanish- recalmar which means you will ask your father why he did this and that)and that won't get u no where..give your dad a chance don't close your heart listen to what he has to tell you. remember that we all make mistakes! don't be judgemental i know it is hard but try! because in the long run the only one affected here is you, because when you get older you will realize what i mean...your conscios(i apologive for the misspelling) won't let you and it's is better that you take action...and if your dad calls answer but don't judge him right away, ask him why he did what he did but without being mad!....i hope this helps you i really do!!!
2006-07-05 22:20:55 · answer #4 · answered by grace_k 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a tricky situation. My opinion is you should respect your father...he's the only one you will ever have. That doesn't mean that you let him hurt you or your mom. Show him that you are a man now. Speak to him like one...no wishy-washy answers. If you don't agree with what he wants or what he says, tell him. At 15 you need to stand up for yourself...he may not like it but make him respect YOU. You don't have to go along with what he wants. He doesn't sound like much of a father but do try to communicate with him. Let him know that you don't like the fact that he hasn't tried to contact you for so long..etc.
2006-07-05 22:17:10 · answer #5 · answered by Rabbit Ritto 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u r 15 yrs old, u r old enough to decide if u want to have him around in ur life, u need to do what is best for YOU. and ur well being, some ppl just arent ment to be parents, i think u should be a strong man n answer ur phone, u tell him, "look i dont like the way u treat me, and i wont let u do it anymore, i am old enough to make sure that my well being is in my favor and i will do so, if u try to force me by usin the courts i will tell them the truth of how i feel n how u make me feel" if u want afta that hang up on him n dont answer it again. or let ur mom talk to him. U DECIDE DONT LET HIM GUILT U INTO ANYTHING EITHER..as for his new wife..she dont mean anything to u..f'her
2006-07-05 22:12:48 · answer #6 · answered by devil_queen_biatch14 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It doesn't sound like your father is a very nice person. It sounds like it may be the best thing to leave it alone right now. If he continues to try and contact you, you could talk to him. Just say that now isn't a good time to try and fix anything. He messed up and he needs to know how you feel. Be honest, if he can't understand obviously he doesn't need to be in your life.
2006-07-05 22:13:35 · answer #7 · answered by wingnutrosie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am 43 and a victim of physical abuse from my father. I hate him and I will make no effort to contact him. I have let him have power over me and I cannot do that any longer. I also went for counseling on this. Do not be ashamed to do this. You need to pour your soul out to someone who understands this stuff and can help you with it.
Good Luck!!
2006-07-05 22:12:01 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i say, as a mother of 16yr daughter, that since he treats you unfairly and dont want to do things with you, that you should not call him back and avoid him and forget him, he isnt worth the time to call back.
my daughter hasnt talked to her father either, he was a jerk like this too.
2006-07-05 22:11:27 · answer #9 · answered by cats3inhouse 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
avoid him or call the police.tell them he's abusnig you.he WILL be punished.i'm really sorry you have to go through this. =[ hopefully,you will find a better life without him.
2006-07-05 22:10:44 · answer #10 · answered by xxsmileformehxx 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he abused you mom I wouldn't talk to him. Who knows what intentions he has now? And I'm really sorry to hear that.
2006-07-05 22:11:00 · answer #11 · answered by Rara 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋