what should i do?

Question

well I have a problem with my boyfriend and we have been together for two years and he seems strange recently. when we first started going out I was thinking about breaking up with him but then he started treating me like a queen. Then i found out i was preggy with his baby and it was a scary time for me and i was thinking about giving my baby up but he told me no don't and i did not and now baby tray Jr. is 6 1/2 months old and I'm glad i kept him. anyway he would take the baby out and get these strange numbers he said they were babysitters because my dream is to go to university and graduate i trusted him enough to take that. then he got fired from his job and left me to work overtime now he goes out all the time and comes home LATE every time i ask him where he is going he said do worry about it and that does not give me any confidence in our relationship i feel i should leave him but what about our baby and all the times he said he would marry me but then treats me disrespectfully

I'm 23 and tray is 25

Answer 1

If he treats you disrespectfully why would you want to marry him?
Really???

Sounds like he is not mature enough to raise this baby, I really hope you have help because I don't think he's gonna stick around, and you deserve SOOOO much better :)

Answer 2

Tray doesn't sound very mature, but leaving him could be a big step for you. Better make sure that you have a good safety net before you do that, like family or friends to help you out. I personally believe that if your mate doesn't treat you right, then you shouldn't be together, but again, that is me, and I am a single dad and have stayed single for the last 11 years. Have you thought of going to marriage counselling, or couple counselling since you aren't married. You may not have a marriage contract, but you are considered to be common-law I believe, although that depends on the law in your particular area, so whether you are actually married or not is inconsequential, it's the same thing. If he is going out and Tom-catting around town, then give him the boot or leave yourself, as he doesn't sound like he deserves you.

Answer 3

If he's not working and you are working overtime, why should you be working to support him? It would be easier take your baby and raise him in a healthy loving environment with at least one committed parent. Also as your child grows, you don't want him to be in the shadow of Tray Sr's bad examples. Dump the player and find another man to support you emotionally and financially. Any man can be a father, it takes someone special to be a Daddy. Tray can show his support in the form of child support.

Answer 4

i know you probably have been told this over and over it but here goes anyway,...you should have dumped him when you thought of breaking up with him the first time...
there are agencys out there that can an will help you and your son to live...i also believe they will help you find a cheap babysitter while you LOOK for work..and when you get everything in place go after your son's father for child support...let's face it young lady...your son's father IIIIIS cheating on you...or worse...if you ask him where he's been when he comes home and he says don't worry about it then i would be very suspicious of what he is doing at all hours of the night....

Answer 5

I say you should leave him you don't have to stay because the baby trust me you'll find better and if he is treating you like crap now it will be worse when ya all get married he only wanted you to keep the baby so you will be tied down and he can do what he wants and that is what he is doing and he don't have the resposibilies like you do because the baby needs his mother the most at this time. good luck

Answer 6

TRUST YOUR Instinct AND DON'T WASTE TIME!!!

You seem to have great goals. you can do it! everything and anything you sent your mind to. Forget about this man! (and I know it's hard, so for now, just start thinking about yourself and that baby) Gather a good support network: friends, family, sitters and start school.

go to the DHHR (department of Health and Human Resources) they pay in full or help pay for childcare while you are in school.
arrange your schedule so that you can be in class while the baby is at daycare.

Worry about yourself and this child. No one else will do that for you, no matter how much they tell you they will.

Honey, I am glad I am the one to tell you this: IT IS HARD!!! VERY VERY HARD.
But the harder you work, the more rewarding it will be for you and for your child.
Don't worry about child support, or anything like that. do it all for you and on your own, you'll se how great it feels at the end of a long day to know that YOU DID IT!.

Answer 7

You don't need him. You and your baby will be better off without him. You can raise him alone, millions of women, including me, have done it before. It is very tough, but it's better than being with a loser of a man who promises you things that you will never get from him. They will say anything to get you to stay with them. But don't believe it, just follow your heart. You sound like you have goals and dreams. If you stay with him those dreams will fade away, don't do that to yourself or your baby. You can and will recieve help with money for school and childcare while doing it. Take advantage of it. You might meet someone who has the same goals and dreams, and can share them with you. Good Luck, you can do it!!

Answer 8

Yeah,this sounds familiar,very familiar actually! I eventually got tired of the crap and told him to get out,and that was when my son was 3 months old.You can totally do this on your own,dont ever think otherwise. Yeah I needed assistance with daycare but I did it by myself and I worked full time.You can get help for daycare while your in school, and you can even get major help with your schooling.We dont need a man to get us through,even if we have their child,just make him pay child support....that can be the only thing you take from him.I dont accept it from my sons dad though,he doesnt make much more money than me and I know if I did,it would just make him think he's better than me. Yours and your babies life could be much better without him.I know it sounds mean,but it's proven that a child in the custody of just one parent will do better in life all around,then if he had to run back and forth between both parents. Good luck girl and be strong!

Answer 9

Well, you should tell him you are going to need to leave, your unhappy and he is not giving you the respect you deserve, see what he says, and tell him you think he should be way more honest to you. he should tell you where hes at when he comes in late at night, ask him how he would feel if you did him like that. because as much as he thinks it, you really don't need him not for **** you can do good all on your on, just be strong. you don't need him to babysit or find a babysitter, you got a mind and you can speak, let him know this, and let him know as loud and proud as you can.

Answer 10

It sounds to me like hes breaking your heart right in front of you and doesnt even care, and as long as you dont care about your own feelings I think it would be an excellent idea to stay with him.