Why is it that "only the good die young?"?

Question

My husband of 25 years has cancer, and he's only 45 years old. He could very well die. My mother died of cancer just over a year ago, and she was only 67. Her mother died of leukemia at the age of 37. Her sister died of cancer at the age of 37. Hubby's mom died of cancer just over a year ago too. We're wrought with loss and grief. Why do these things happen? Is he too good or am I too bad? How can I change his outcome to survival?

Answer 1

It is hard not to have all kinds of thoughts run through your mind when your struck by one tragedy after another. When we are depressed, all we could think about is depressing thoughts, and when we are losing a loved one, all we can think about is all the people we lost before them. I don't believe the good die young, or the bad live longer, I think we have so many examples around us of good people dying old and the other way around. At this point, all you can do is be supportive as much as you can, without forgetting about yourself and giving yourself a break, to stay strong for him. Death is the most sure thing around us, we all know it will happen, but we tend to ignore it, otherwise we would be too scared to enjoy anything in life. That is untill it comes close to us, by hitting a loved one.
Death is the door that take you into the next level or life, the same way birth gets a baby into this world. And remember also that the baby cries, not knowing the reality of what's happening to him.
I hope you and your husband will have a wonderfull life, remember it is not about quantity, it is really about quality, make them the best years of both of your lifes.
Someone could die in a car accident tonight, without a chance to do things they wanted to do, or changes they needed. But I think people who die of illness are given a chance to do these things they should and want to do, given time to think. I hope your husband and you are going to be able to use this time, and not be distracted by your fears and grief, the best that you can.

Answer 2

I am very sorry to hear about your family and the tragedy that has struck them over the years. I know how you feel though because I asked the very same question almost exactly two years ago to the day when my aunte died. She was 58.. and she was a wonderful person. She cared for animals all her life.. regardless of her situation... she made time, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year to save and protect any animal that came into her care. She ended up with cancer and fought it... and seemingly had won.. going through radiation treatments for months.... then, less than a year later... it was back.. she died within 2 months and we didn't even know she was going to die until about 48 hours before. I am a 42 year old man.... (40 when she died) and I cried for weeks. I still cry because she was very special to me... when I was a very little boy, she lived across the apartment complex from me and I used to take my Winnie-the-Pooh bear and walk across the yard and go sit with her every morning to watch cartoons... Bugs Bunny and such.
She was a really good person and I asked the same types of questions... why? How come her? It's not fair.. etc, etc.
There's no real answer I guess. The important thing is for you to stay strong for him... and for your family.. and his family. Believe in something I have said all my life... "Everything happens for a reason." Whether it's good.. or bad.... I believe in that. I am not a religious person... and I don't pretend to be.. I don't preach. All I can say is that it is something we have to accept as week humans. Not everything can be explained... and we, as humans can't solve all the worlds problems... religion.. health issues... but we have to accept and go on.
Be strong. Be as positive as you can be. Remember that your husband loves you very much and he'll need you by his side.
I wish you well.... be brave.

Answer 3

Okay, let's address your first question, "why is it that only the good die young?" I have heard this saying before, but I don't know where it originated from. Even Billy Joel had part of that saying in one of his songs.

Death is no respector of persons. It can come to any one of us at any time for what ever the reason. Whether just born or 105. It will come to everyone of us sooner or later. There is no way of stopping it.

It is not a matter if your hubby is too good or your too bad. Death is a part of life. In 1998 my grandmother died and she was 87. One year later almost to the day of her death my father died at the age of 77. Fourteen days later my dad's closest brother died at the age of 73. People were dying all around me that I loved.

It is human nature to fear death. It would be easier on all of us if we knew exactly what we will die of then we could know. But life doesn't work out that way. We must live for the present. We have no control over the past for it is done. We have no control over the future, because it isn't here yet. We only have control over the present.

Do you believe in God? Do you believe in His Son Jesus Christ as your personal Lord and Savior that He died on the cross for your sins? If you believe in God, He is who you should cast all your fears and problems too. He is the one you should invite into your life and heart and to ask for His guidance and strength throughout all your problems. If God is for you, who could be against you? Pray to Him and ask for His help. It could make a world of difference for you!

Good luck to you! Cheer up you are not alone!
I hope I was some what helpful to you!

Answer 4

Be sure you are getting the latest treatments. There are so many advances that have been made that the average cancer doctors do not even know about. My father has cancer and is going to die from it because his doctors are 10 years behind the times in treatment options. Good luck.

Answer 5

Send me an IM and i'll send you a cure thats been endorsed by Dr. Christian Barnard ( the first heart transplant surgeon) Yes you may say what? a cure for cancer! Yes it exists but the : pharmaceutical companies / governments don't want it on the market because its virtually free and it also cures HIV. Heres another link to the same, have faith don't give up assistence is at hand. as they say seek and ye shall find ;)

>>http://www.earthclinic.com/Remedies/hydrogen_peroxide2.html#cancer

Answer 6

Only the good die young because they have simply lived their life, and found what they were born to find. You are not bad in any way, it seems that you were the reason for him living, and now god would like to spend time with him. and keep your guys family company. Fighting for him and spending every moment you can will make him stronger. Being with you will be the one thing that will make him stronger to stay alive.

Answer 7

That is a lot to have to deal with. You should seek counseling if you haven't already. It would be extremely beneficial for you to be able to talk to someone about everything you've been through and are going through. I know this is easier said than done but try and stay as positive and supportive with him as you can. Be happy and cherish every second you have and love him with all of your heart....sometimes it can do wonders. I'm sure he is receiving excellent care. I hope he recovers....hang in there but go talk to someone....for your sake and his.

Answer 8

Being good or bad has nothing to do with it. Cancer can be hereditary. I do wish you the best of luck in these hard times!

Answer 9

Many good people live long lives. Many evil people die in their youth. Death is used by Satan to test people's faith in God. I am truly sorry, but there is not any answer that satisfies, other than the presence of God in one's heart. May you have peace.

Answer 10

There is no way you cange change his destiny. I am sooooooooo sorry for all of your losses, but you can't change anything. All i can really tell you is to pray REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY hard and hope he does alright. :-)