whats the best short joke you know?

Question

for example: what do you call a bird at a techno party?
a) A raven.

Answer 1

The Parrot Boy

An old man is sitting on a bench in central park when a teenager with a rainbow hair-dyed mohawk spiked up like a punk rocker and a nose ring sits down next to him.

The man begins to stare at him for a long time in shock.

Then the teenager says, "What you looking at old man?"

The man replys, "Nothing, nothing."

Again the man begins to stare at him for a long time and the teen says, "What's your problem, old man, you never did anything crazy when you were a kid?"

The old man replies, "Yeah, the thing is when I was a teen I got real, real drunk and f_u_c_k_e_d a parrot, and I was thinking that you might be my son."

Answer 2

nothing racist
A black and a white guy in heaven.

A white guy and a black guy died and were on their way up to Heaven and they had to stop at the Pearly Gates before they could enter. So the Angel Gabriel was there waiting for them, and he told them that they had to do something before they could go anywhere.
He told the white guy to pull down his pants, so he did and Gabriel grabbed his dick and squeezed. It instantly melted. The white screamed in pain, and was sent downstairs.
Gabriel told the black guy to do the same, and he grabbed his dick and squeezed but nothing happened
When Gabriel asked him why it didn't affect him, he said, "This is the type of chocolate that melts in your mouth and not in your hands".

Answer 3

This is a Blond and Brunette joke:

A Brunette goes to this Blond's house. The Brunette walked out in the backyard and saw the Blond's dog. She walk back in the house and says,"why is your dog wearing a watch?" The blond answers back," It has to wear a watch. Its a watchdog."

Answer 4

I got one:
a woman went to a dentist 4 a gum surgery with her head phones on, after the surgery, the dentist removed the head phones so he could tell her that he's done with the surgery. but before he could tell her that, his wife called, and they talked about 5 min.
after the phone call, he found out that the woman is dead, he didn't know why.
when the cops arrived , they found out the cause of her death was
she was listening to a therapist on tape saying: breath in, breath out breath in, breath out ...(when the dentist removed the head phones, she stopped breathing )

Answer 5

A rabbi, a priest, and a minister walk into a bar. The bartender says "What is this, a joke?" :-)

Answer 6

A GUY GOES TO A SUPERMARKET AND NOTICES A BEAUTIFUL BLONDE WAVE AT HIM AND SAY'S "HELLO."

HE'S RATHER TAKEN ABACK, BECAUSE HE CAN'T PLACE WHERE HE KNOWS HER FROM, SO HE SAYS "DO YOU KNOW ME?"

TO WHICH SHE REPLIES "I THINK YOU'RE THE FATHER OF ONE OF MY KIDS."

NOW HE THINKS BACK TO THE ONLY TIME HE HAS EVER BEEN UNFAITHFUL TO HIS WIFE AND SAYS, "MY GOD, ARE YOU THE STRIPPER FROM MY BACHELOR PARTY THAT I LAID ON THE POOL TABLE WITH ALL MY BUDDIES WATCHING,WHILE YOUR PARTNER WHIPPED ME WITH WET CELERY AND THEN STUCK A CARROT UP MY .?".

SHE SAID "NO, I'M YOUR SON'S MATH TEACHER."

Answer 7

A Butcher is 6,5 feet tall. What does He weigh?
Meat!

Answer 8

What do you call a mushroom at a bar who buys all the drinks?
A fungi to be with...get it Fungi=funguy~~~ =)

Answer 9

Why don't Women fart?


Because they never shut up long enough to build pressure.

Answer 10

2 cows are talking to each other.
The first cow said, "I was artificially inseminated this morning."
The second cow said, "Are you kidding?"
And the first cow replied, "Really. Staight up. No Bull."