When should a parent let go of their kids and let them live on their own?

Question

At 20 years old, should a parent still be in control of you and what you do?

Answer 1

In this state you're legally an adult at 18. That means mom and dad could legally toss you and you'd be totally on your own. Financially, everything. Some 18 year olds are ready for that. Some aren't ready for that until some years later. If you're living with mom and dad you'd best follow the rules. If you don't like the rules then feel free to move out. Pay your own rent. Pay for your own food, phone bill and utilities. Oh, and don't forget to clean the place and do your laundry (that costs money too).

I had a sign in my kitchen: "Teenagers: Move out now while you still know everything". My daughter now has that on her kitchen wall.

Answer 2

It depends on the person. When I as 20 I had already been mostly out on my own at college for two years, and my parents allowed me to be independent but some kids aren't ready for it (also some parents aren't ready to let go!). I think that if someone is ready to be out on their own they should sit down and talk to their parents about how to become more independent, like getting a job or paying for their own apartment, and then they'll also get the benefits of being more independent.

Answer 3

A parent should let them live on their own when that parent feels that the child is prepared and ready to go on to the real world. But, if you are 20 years of age, then they probably should already feel that you are prepared. You should be in control of you. The question is, do you feel prepared to go into the real world?

Answer 4

If you still live at home at 20, your parent will always be in control. Move away, and you will finally have the freedom to make your own decisions. Any one over 18, has the right to find thier own life.

Answer 5

It depends...At 20, are you still living under your parents' roof, and depending on them for your basic meals and such?

If so, then they have a right and a responsibility to be pushing you to improve the path you're on, or encourage you to keep on the right path.

If you're living on your own, handling your own responsibilities and expenses, they should take a step back and realize that they can't live your life for you.

Sometimes it's hard, though, to remind ourselves that we did a good job as parents, and our kids are now capable adults! If you're struggling trying to break away, remind them what a good job they've done!

Answer 6

Parents are like lamp-posts. They are unmistakably good to their kids.But after a certain age too much of protectionism may stultify the intellectual growth of their children.When they grow up to be 18 or 20 they need to be given some autonomy so that they learn to fend for themselves in challenging circumstances.They must be allowed to develop their potential. However when they need help and guidance they must consult their parents.They(children) must not do any thing that hurts their self esteem

Answer 7

If someone has graduated college and is making enough money to support themself then they need to move out. They're adults, over 21, and have a good education. I'm a college senior right now and I still live at home because its convenient, I help my mom out with bills and whatnot, but I don't have to pay rent anywhere so I still have some money for me.

Answer 8

Well no. I do think they can advise their 20 yr old child but not run their life. The whole idea of becoming an adult is to do things on their own and for themselves to become more independent!

Answer 9

Until youll be responisble, and have a good job, and can afford a condo or something....then you can be set free.......my brother is 25 and doesnt cualify these options and so he still lives at home with my parents

Answer 10

If you live in their house, under their roof, it's their rules. But at 20 you shuld probably be looking for a house of your own. And when your in your own house, then its your rules.