How do you mend a broken heart??

Question

My boyfriend of almost 6 years left me and my son last week and i`m heart broken,feel sick,cant sleep and hardly eating,i just want to stop feeling like this,one minute i hate his guts and the next i want him back desperately.People tell me to go out and enjoy myself again as i`m only 24 but the thought of being with someone else makes me feel sick and the thought of him being with someone makes me want to kill him!It`s not as if i`m never going to see him again as he still wants to be in contact with our son but the thought of him coming over then watching him walk out the door again kills me,i just dont think i`ll be able to handle it,please help

Answer 1

Nothing can quite ease your pain, expect for time! As you catch yourself day dreaming and thinking of the good times, quickly remind yourself of the fact that he walked out on you! Remind yourself of the hurtful things you won't have to go through any more.
Try to keep the most positive attitude as you possibly can. It's a lot easier said than done. Pray to God every time you feel the pain. It really does help. Remember that your son can feel when you are upset. Keep your head up, spend time with your friends or family. Don't jump into a relationship. Just take some me time. Do what you need to do for yourself, to get you back on track. It will get better...:) Good luck!

Answer 2

I have some good news and some bad news what do you want to hear first? The good news is "time heals all wounds"! I have left a marriage of ten years and I experienced all the feelings you are talking about! When i first started dating again I would start crying while I was at dinner with the new fellow! It was so embarrassing.Guys are not good at dealing with that!
One guy said I should see a shrink and I said, no I just need to see some one with more depth and compassion than you have! You have to be strong for your son! No point in making yourself sick! Or sicker! Give your self some time and like my grandmother says,"Men have died and worms have eaten them, but not for love!" Hang in there. This to shall pass! Thank God you have youth on your side!

Answer 3

It will take a lot of time to mend a broken heart. Actually, it will never be as good as new, but it will have experience and depth and a much better understanding of itself.

Being with people is a very good way of helping it to mend. The more people you have around you as friends who accept you as you are and who maybe feel sorry for what has happened but do not pity you, the better and easier it will be for you.

In a while perhaps you will understand why your BF left you (I am wondering if it's because he couldn't cope with a 'special' child). Once you can begin to accept why he did, you will begin to feel differently about him - neither love nor hate. I think that a man can never feel quite the closeness to a child that his mother does - after all, we didn't have him living within us for 9 months. Also it's possible for a man to be bitterly disappointed if their son (or daughter) is what they see as a 'second'.

I don't wish to excuse my sex for thinking like this but it's a simple fact that we (or some of us) do ... and it's quite a complicated mix of emotions which include disappointment, a sense of failure and an inability to cope, none of which are easy to admit to having (even to ourselves), so if he gave you other reasons for leaving, you may have to accept that they may not have been the real reasons.

Answer 4

well.. in my experience, i've always mended my heart in this order:

1) visit old friends, they were always there for me no matter what. and a broken heart just made them care a little more. (pity does help sometimes)

2) make new friends. its always nice meeting new, and interesting people.

3) lots of cheap booze. i say cheap, because you're going to go through a lot. *always* drink with atleast 2 friends, and while i'm still sober i tell them my intentions. whether it be a bar, party, or just my friends... so they know what to do when some random person hits on me... ...and never drink alone.. bad things always happen..

3) time. its the harshest teacher. accept everything i had with the other person. and accept that there will be a future without them. but within time accepting that my wounds will heal.

4) get anti-depressants and sleep-aids from my doctor. it may be superficial. but its physical health and mental well-being.

5) learn to let go. its the hardest thing in the world.

6) the less you talk and interact with him, the better chances you have of getting over him. the more you talk and interact with him, the more chances that you might get (or fool yourself) back together with him... and setting you up for more pain.

7) hire a psychatrist.

Answer 5

Hon. I think you should get up and relax. Go have fun with your son. Take him out. Take a mini vacation. Do not rush to find a new person because it is only going to hurt more. Take some time off and enjoy yourself.

What is important now is that you have to be strong so you can take care of yourself and your son. Your son needs you the most now so do not give up on him.

About the ex-boyfriend, screw him. He is missing out on a great lady and that is his bad. I am sure in the near future you will find a better guy. You are only 24 so relax a bit and keep your head up high. Smile a lot.

Good luck.

Answer 6

Focus on some new projects...not guys. Get to the point where you are content with living life and raising your son. Get some hobies, join a class or group. Be the best mom you child could have. If you do all this you will grow and realize that you are too good for a man that would leave a long term relationship with no thought for the child.

Answer 7

Ok first of all I am really sorry to hear to hear what has happened to you, what you need is to be round people right now, as staying indoors just looking at 4 walls makes it much worse for you, at times like this what you need is your friend's support, ok so he has left you, I obviously think that he don't respect you or loved you enough, as when you are with someone, and you are madly in love with each other, they will stay with you through thick, and thin no matter what, it don't mean you have to go out to find someone else on the rebound, but just meet up with your friend's and just tell them exactly how you feel, not go out clubbing as that is not the answer, opening your heart to someone will certainly help you get over this, as you are a nice person who is hurting right now, and you just want to let it all out what is bothering you, do not drink yourself silly no matter ho much the temptation is there!
I hope that my advice is helpful at a time like this? I really hope you are ok, and that things get better for you, really I do!
Regards Deano

Answer 8

Time will mend your broken heart. You may be in so much pain right now but as time goes on and you have a chance to heal, your going to realize that you are better off without this man. For the sake of you and your son you should move on and someday find somebody worth your time.

Answer 9

Literally hundreds of other men and women have felt the exact same way you do. You are not alone. Know that it gets better with time. When you are ready, you will move on and find someone else. In the mean time, concentrate on your little boy. He is the innocent in all of this and needs BOTH of his parents emotionally strong and healthy. Do not be afraid to seek professional help for severe depression. You may want to join a group of single moms or seek counsel from a church. Hang in there. Things will get better.

Answer 10

I know things feel like they are never going to be the same, and ppl keep telling you what you should be feeling or doing, but in the end only you can decide how and when you want to move. If its over then you have to accept it, but don't feel like you're alone because i can pretty much guarentee you're not. I've gone through this and i know that eventually you will fine, and you will be a much stronger individual for it. Just take things slowly, one day at a time, and you will be over him before you know it!