Feeling numb?

Question

My boyfriend suffers from post traumatic stress disorder as he was held at gun point three years ago. I have completley fallen head over heels for him, and Id marry him tomorrow..only thing is that sometimes he is so emotionally unavailable, he says he feels numb inside.. I know this is the effect of what happened above but how can I be sure that he loves me, even though he says he does? Am I setting myself up for a fall? Does anyone know what I can do to help him stop feeling numb? Please give serious answers, no sarcy ones...thanks.

Answer 1

Proceed with caution, sweet girl. If he has PTSD he needs professional help. You cannot do anything about this. On the other hand, his emotional unavailability may be due to the fact that he is just not as emotionally involved with you as you would like him to be. You cannot do anything about this, either.

Answer 2

Wow. You are a really good person (from what i can tell). I did a report on PTSD and it's really not cool. No disorder is.

For the numb feeling inside is suggest a doctor or a hypnotist. Usually the hypnotists can get inside someone and find out what he or she is really feeling numb about.

For the love part........maybe he wants companionship. He want someone to be there for him, and he might really love you. PTSD can make someone have a totally different attitude at some point in time which might explain the "emotionally unavailable" part of your question. In reality you can't tell if a person really loves another. It's based on trust. After some time this love can be lost, but in the mean time it's there and you just have to trust the person who you love.

I hope i made some sense.

Good luck.....have fun.

Answer 3

My fiancee has ADD/ADHD, OCD, and had night terrors as a child, so as long as he can remember, he's been taking a lot of medication. While he and I were trying to balance it out ourselves (the doctor had him on 4 anti-depressants and he was a zombie), he sometimes said he wished he could feel. A lot of times he would say "I'll look at you and smile, and I know I love you, but I don't feel it right now". And it hurt, alot. But I knew there was nothing I could do about it, and I just had to be strong for him while he sorted himself out while the chemicals fixed his brain, you know?

If you know that he loves you, than you just have to tell him that you know, and that you love him in return, no matter what. The problem, in all likelihood(sp?), has nothing to do with you, he just needs you to be there when he sorts it all out.

I hope that helps you, I know it can be really difficult. Let me know if you want to talk or anything.

Answer 4

Is he in counseling? if so you can start by going with him... if not suggest that he does go and go with him for support. I'm very sure that he loves you but he just can't express it.... This is very commen with a person who has been tramatized. Give him some time and try to get him to talk to you about things and explain how things make you feel this may help him to open up a bit.... he needs to know he is safe with you and that you are not going anywhere..... i'm sure over time things will be much better.... Good Luck!

Answer 5

well i have the same issue, as on new years i was jumped in a bedroom...but there is really nothing you can do, i understand how he feels. if u can get him too go to the doecters he can take pills for it..he has some type of depression..
if that doesnt help try too keep his mind of of thinking about it..and at night give him massages...you need too relax the pain he has inside..if he didnt love you he would be gone...unless you are paying for his way..but if not then he does...
just try these steps and if they dont work contact me..

-yours truely jenna.

[e-mail]

Answer 6

anti deppresants will help but what he needs more than medication is love and suppport
Most DR. would say journaling helps he can start be writing down his earlyiest child hod memory and continueing until he comes to the current day and time
to get over somethnig as terrible as he as exsperienced he has to remember the live he had before and how good life will be after the terrior

Answer 7

I would suggest you two try counseling for couples. It might help but instead of you trying to stop him from this feeling, maybe you should step into his shoes and help him work through it. If you two really love each other like you say, this is one of many obstacles you will face and you should support each other through the good and bad. I hope you two work out and send me a wedding invitation.!! Just kidding but GOOD LUCK GURL.

Answer 8

a person can have PTSD and still be loveable and loving.

what does your b/f say? is he ready to talk about and deal with the emotional and psychological complications related to the hold up? if he is, then encourage him to see a mental health therapist or psychologist. if he's not, don't push him. it will only exacerbate his symptoms.

i guess the question for you is this: in what ever state your b/f is in now, do you still love him. for better or for worse? in sickness and in health? till death do you part? ...your b/f has ptsd, ptsd does not make him who he is.

btw, guys like tht, they just don't say "i ♥ u" and not mean it.

Answer 9

first has he been to counseling that will help. He probably does love you but he needs to get this problem taken care of before you get married. maybe you both could go in for some counseling. if you suggest that he may be willing to go and get the help he needs.

Answer 10

I think he does love you, he just has a hard time expressing it. My dad has been depressed for FIVE years and hasn't been on any meds what-so-ever. I can understand how stressed he is, but you know what? I bet you make it 100x better for him. :)