Ok i dont sleep around if thats the 1st thing running through your mind.......I do have morals. I love my son to death and hes the most amazing baby ever. Its just always crossed my mind that no decent guy will ever like me simply because i come with "extra baggage". I just want my son and I to be happy. He deserves the best. I just want to know what guys honestly think about younger girls that have a child.......please let me know!! Thanks!!
2006-07-05 11:43:03 · 21 answers · asked by blonde2059 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
When I was single I dated several girls who were single mothers. I don't think it hurts your chances of finding love at all. In fact it probably is an advantage in that when you tell guys you have a kid it will automatically filter some out for you. Plus the added responsibility of having a kid makes you more careful and particular in who you date so you will make less mistakes in finding the right one.
2006-07-05 11:48:04 · answer #1 · answered by rkrell 7 · 5⤊ 3⤋
It's going to be much more difficult for you. You have the stigma of being a single mother.
To a single guy (a good one), this presents any number of potential problems.
First of all, it makes it look like you're unable to maintain a stable relationship. Regardless of the circumstances of the breakup between you and the father, the perception is that in SPITE of having a baby, you failed to maintain a relationship with the father. This may be unfair, but it is very very real.
Secondly, it eliminates the most wonderful part of a loving relationship with a person when you KNOW there will never truly be alone time with you. Any man entering a committed relationship with you will know that he'll never truly have you alone. There will always be the child, and he/she will always come first to you. As a man, I cherish those early days with my woman when it's just the two of us. That can never be with you.
Third, we have the investment factor. When entering into a committed relationship with a woman, a man has to account for the investment he's making. This isn't only financial, but also emotional. A single mother with a child means more financial resources being laid out by the man than if you were childless. It may be cold and mercenary, but a man who wants something meaningful with you is going to factor that in. Also, if he gets involved with you, he also gets involved with your child. That's asking an awful lot...especially at your age and the age range of the men you'll be after.
Finally, being a single mother at age 19 makes you seem vastly irresponsible with your body. You're 19, and chances are, you're too young and inexperienced to raise a child alone. So why did you have the baby? Don't you know about abstinence? Protection? Men will wonder this about you. It may not be fair, but that's the way it is.
I'm sure you're a wonderful person, and you're bound to find someone someday. I'd focus more on getting my life together than finding a "guy". In fact, don't even bother with men until your life is stable. Take care of you and your child first.
2006-07-05 11:55:47 · answer #2 · answered by Mr. O'Clock 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I absolutely would not date a girl with kids. You already made one mistake that someone else has to pay for. Why would I want to be the next. You are probably not likely to get an abortion if you got pregnant again. It just isn't worth the risk. Kids are expensive and will set me back. I have dreams and ambition. Having to pay for kids tends to get in the way of that. Also, supposing you were a good mother, I would not be your first priority. I like to be first. I like to have adult fun, something that you can only have when it's convenient for you. What am I supposed to do in the mean time?
2006-07-05 21:08:22 · answer #3 · answered by Justin B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
WOW, WHAT UNIVERSE DO SOME OF YOU LIVE IN? SAYING" YOU ARE LOOKED AT AS A SINGLE MOTHER?" WTF??? WE LIVE IN 2006...NOT 1955...PEOPLE DON'T "LOOK DOWN" ON SINGLE MOTHERS AS THE DOWNFALL OF SOCIETY THAT MUCH ANYMORE.
Anyway, I am not a man but I understand you situation. I had a child very young (age 16), and I am now 17. The father and I did not manage to work things out, although he is a very involved and loving father. I had no problem finding a great man to date. I had many dates and eventually found an awesome boyfriend.
2006-07-05 12:11:47 · answer #4 · answered by A Dizzle 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i would believe that you would have to start looking at a little older age group to date, someone in their mid 20's at least. the reason i say this is because they have lived a little, you know, partied and gotten some of this out of their system. they may be looking to settle down or slow down and are looking for a smart/caring woman like yourself. guys your age are still looking forward to getting into their first bar legally! its just too much for a younger guy to have to deal with, especially if the child is not his. good luck!
2006-07-05 11:47:33 · answer #5 · answered by City slicker 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Age isn't an situation. that is the adulthood and the chemistry that counts. in simple terms see you later because the older celebration do not limit her that a lot. Like me as an get mutually. Im 7 yrs senior than my bf. I enable him do what he enjoys like jamming inclusive of his bandmates and doing stupid stuffs inclusive of his acquaintances. in simple terms see you later as he knows a thanks to act round me and cope with me with respect each and each and every of the time that concerns.
2016-10-14 04:00:21 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yeah its definitely a strike against you. Its not necessarily the kid himself, just the fact that you are a single mom, meaning you have made some bad choices...that and you might try to do it again.
also, there is a physical strike against you, unless you are in great shape. and for your information, not every guy who wants to take care of you and the kid is a keeper...you will meet some losers who seem eager to take care of you two...
2006-07-05 11:50:37 · answer #7 · answered by kevbeer2003 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he will :) don't worry. there are lots of decent guys who will be totally ok with you having a son. It will be a good way for you to weed out the nice guys from the jerks. good luck!
2006-07-05 11:45:39 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
people do things all the time that they regret.... a guy that holds that against a girl needs to rethink things a bit. i find it very attractive, its tough as hell raising a child at that age im sure, shows strength and independents... best of luck to ya
2006-07-05 11:57:09 · answer #9 · answered by unkie_monkey 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've dated a few women with children. Just make sure you find someone that you are interested in and not just looking for a daddy for your baby.
2006-07-05 11:47:46 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋