What is wrong with this mother?

Question

There is a girl from school, that says that whenever her mom gives her money, she later afterschool gives ger a drug test at home to see if she didn't get high or something. She says that she would NEVER do drugs. But her mother buys these stuff at the drugstore and he thing checks her pee. It's so WEIRD!

Answer 1

You are only hearing one side of the story. You don't know why mom is so concerned about possible drug use. Where there's smoke, there's fire.

Answer 2

You might try to look at it from this mother's perspective ...
Perhaps she feels that she is providing her daughter with a reason not to do drugs, no matter how tempted she might become. Think about it ... A group of peers might put pressure on her to try drugs "just once" ... she can always say no, due to the fact that the at-home tests will show it up. They aren't as likely to pressure her over this, as if she said she just doesn't want to, or can't because she's not supposed to.
Another thing ... The mother may have learned the Hard Way -- either directly or indirectly -- how EASY it can be to become hooked, & how next-to-impossible it can be to quit! Not to mention how Undesireable life usually is in between!
You could credit the Mom for providing her girl with an easy out, instead of taking offense, whether that is really what's behind her actions or not. Maybe it's just to provide herself with the peace of mind that nothing's going on behind her back ...
She may have lost someone she Dearly Loved to drug-addiction-death, & had been Totally unaware that the person was having a problem. Will you blame her for feeling anxious that it could happen with her daughter? Or, will you support her for caring? Won't the latter more likely have a calming effect, whereas the former will most likely only raise suspicions?
Sometimes our perception makes all the difference ...
If you see it as an affirmation of her love & concern, you will react positively. If you take it as a personal offense, you raise the question of why does it bother you - are you trying to hide something, or trying to get her to quit testing so the drugs can be tried? Think about it. Really think about it.
Another thing I wonder is ... Is your friend upset about it? Could you be jealous that her Mom cares enough to go to this trouble? Whatever your response to those questions, I suggest the following article for you to read:

Youths--Let Your Parents Help You Guard Your Heart! :
... Why Obey Your Parents?
... Attraction to the Opposite Sex
... The Persuasive Power of Your Peers
... Worthy of Honor
http://www.watchtower.org/library/w/2004/10/15/article_01.htm

Here are two other articles you may want to read &/or share with your friend's Mom:

DRUG ABUSE in the FAMILY -- What Can You Do? :
... Young People and Drugs
... How to Protect Your Children
... Soon - A Drug-Free World
http://www.watchtower.org/library/g/2003/4/8/article_01.htm

DRUG ABUSE - There Is A Solution! :
... Drugs--Who Takes Them?
... Why Do People Abuse Them
... There Is an Answer!
http://www.watchtower.org/library/g/2001/7/8/article_01.htm

I hope that you have found my reply helpful!

Sincerely,
"Make Sure of All things; Hold Fast to what is Fine!"
1 Thessalonians 5:21

Answer 3

To me this sounds weird. No matter what your child has done in the past, or what kind of school or neighborhood you live in the mother sounds like she's a little too paranoid. Sometimes when you are over protective of children like this it has the reverse effect and the child rebels more. There are much better ways to help a child stay off drugs than to act like you totally don't trust them. If parents stay involved in their child's life, support their decisions, and listen to their children that is much more effective then drug testing all the time. A lot of drugs clear out of the system really fast and their are drinks and pills you can take to clear your system.
This mom needs help with her paranoia issues. This is way wierd and this kid is going to develop major issues if this keeps on continuing. There really is nothing you could do though.

Answer 4

Careful.

Maybe she's worried about the school's repuation, the neighborhood's reputation, etc. Does she have family members that are on drugs? Has the girl had a history of disobeying her mother? Does she have a drug history?

In other words, you don't know the whole story. Don't judge, you never know what the other side of the story is.

Answer 5

Are you sure the girl hasn't been in trouble with drugs and is just not admitting it? The mom could be acting psychotic, but what if she's not?

Answer 6

I know this girl that when she came home her mom took her panties to the Dr. to see if there was semen one them, she also has her followed by a detective & has pictures taken, now tell me thats not sick. That kind of mothers really need help.

Answer 7

well as much stuff going on in school the drug test is a good idea...

Answer 8

if the mother has a reason for duing this, like she cought her daughter duing drugs before or is suspicious of her child then she has a right to do it. but i think that if you push a child like that she will grow up resenting the parent.

Answer 9

School's over kid! Think of ideas on by yourself. I am not a kid. i am happly married and I am going to Harvard(Last Year) I have been going for 6 years. So if you have any other things you want o say to me go ahead!

Answer 10

her mother needs serious help. sounds like she is very distrusting. unless the girl has given the mother a reason not to trust her then i'd just say she needs to trust her daughter