My parents have issues wat can i do?

Question

It's been about 8 years and they have been arging every sec. I try 2 get them 2 stop & i try 2 tell them how i feel about it but they just don't get. wat can i do i've tryed everythi' i can thnk of!

Answer 1

i'm sorry but there really isn't much you can do except tell them how you feel, calmly and when things aren't bad. tell them if they don't get along you would rather have them apart because quite frankly living with them is miserable! aside from that they have to come to it in their own time. do you have an aunt or a grandmother you are close to or they are close to that you can talk to about it? sometimes these things are more of a wake up call from an adult than a kid. you could also ask a guidance counselor or teacher at school for some help, just to give you someone to talk to and perhaps make them aware of how much its affecting you. good luck and hang in there! sometimes parents screw up but they don't love you any less.

Answer 2

It has been eight years since what? A divorce? Since one of them cheated on the other? Since the other is not doing what the other expects them to do as far as money, working, schooling, raising children, childsupport dealing. religion? etc......

Parents that argue back and forth have issues which they both have stuck their head in the sand and has not address the issue so every little thing is being discussed in argueing. Just remember that you have nothing to do with what they are argueing about. If in the event that they are trying to make you choose between them... well just tell them that you love them both and that you are not going to be a part of destroying each other or that you are not going to allow them to destroy your relationship with either one of them.

In the event that it is due to a divorce then they will keep argueing until the childsupport thing is over... usually until you and/or your syliblings 18th birthday or graduate high school which ever comes last. Just remember it is all about the money and you are not to be put in the middle of that.

It is sad how the children get caught up in the middle of adult issues like parents that fight and argue and who can't be adult enough to take it somewhere where the children will not be involved in their issues.

If your parents are not divorce and as far as if they are argueing and fighting just tell them to get a divorce already because from the way they are acting it is plain to see that they hate each other anyway.

Maybe if they are argueing in front of you and your syblings just go for a walk, don't go to your room you will still be able to hear them... Go outside and stay way that way...

Just look on this site and maybe it will help you deal with your parents imaturaty

Good luck.

Answer 3

There's not too much you can do. You are NOT your parents' keeper...even though it does sound like you have more sense than they do.
Try this: Write a letter to your parents about how you feel when they fight. In this letter use lots of "I-phrases" like "I feel afraid when you fight because I'm afraid someone will get hurt." Let them know that you love both of them and hope that in the best interest of the family they will consider going to family counseling. Write down everything you can think of about how their fighting is affecting you and if you have siblings, by all means, have them write their own letters.
Next, when your parents aren't busy or fighting, ask them if you (and your siblings) can read them what you wrote. It's going to take a lot of courage to do all of this. If you feel more comfortable, talk to a grandparent, aunt, uncle, school counselor or teacher and ask them if they'll be present while you read the letter so they can mediate. I'm betting your parents don't realize how damaging their relationship is to you. Good luck...I know what you're going through.

Answer 4

As a parent, I know it's easy to get caught up in an argument and forget about the effect it has on the kids. My 10 year old son did something very clever. He wrote out a contract and made us both sign it. It was very simple. When you fight you make me feel scared and alone, promise never to fight in front of me again. Both my husband and I signed it and now think twice before we snap at each other.

Remember you cannot stop them. Just let them know how it makes you feel. Hopefully they will have enough compassion and love for you to stop.

Good luck!

Answer 5

Only when they actually realize how upset it makes you or when something bad happens {I dont hope that} .Sadly in most cases people dont realize the impact of there wrongdoings until something something happens. I went through this but my x and I were the ones doing the fighting. I wasent until I saw what it was doing to our son that I realized what a horrable thing to put my son through. You must find a way to get there attn. even if it means saying something to them that they may not like. You must let them know how you feel at any coast. If they see you acting in a way that there not used to they just might open there eyes and see the impact its having on you.

Answer 6

You can't (and shouldn't) get in on your parent's arguments. The best thing to do for yourself is to seek help outside. If you truely think their behavior is horribly dangerous to you or to each other you need to report it to a teacher or counselor... if it's just a pain to listen to... go bury your head in some noise cancelling headp-hones and read a book... study... paint pictures... dance... something to center your energies away from the commotion. You are not part of their fighting, not your fault, and nothing you can do. If you feel that you must say something write your feelings on paper... make three copies... and give each of them a copy and one for yourself. Discuss it with each of them when they are ready.

Answer 7

You really should not interfere. I don't mean to sound harsh but that is their relationship and you should just stay out of it. No sense stressing yourself out. They are two grown individuals capable of getting help with their relationship if they wanted it. Some people like to argue. You should stay away from them for a while so that it doesn't affect you so much. But trust me, if you just accept that that is what works for them and they are obviously okay with it, the better off you will be.

Answer 8

wHAT YOU can do depends on yr age too. If you can leave home, that would be a definiete hint to them, "you'r sick and tired of their fights" and why not leave?

Nothing you can do about parents who dont get along. I tried to help mine for too long and really did nothing. Parents argue, but others fight and other even more so abuse their spouses.

If there is abuse in yr parents ways, towards each other, let them know that the law does not accept that behaivor anymore.
If they are abusive to you, another reason fro packing up and making yr own turf with yr own peace and quiet corner. YOu need it. we all do.

However if leaving is out of the question (I tell you this bc my daughter left our home bc her dad and I argued, it took her getting out and being gone from our home to realize how scrwed up we were making her life and then we stopped it and things got better). But its a family efffort.

My daughter made it a point, that if we were going to live like immature adults inheriting her with disagreements aned tshe aftermath , she was not going to be a part of it. And she has proven to be the most outstanding young girl who has bought her cars on her own, paid her rent on her own, done her things without parents arguing next to her.

I am so proud of my daughter, I value her eve n more for having taken the ground and said" Im not putting upwith parents that argue". She wwent to her grandmother's house and after 2yrs she was able to move on her own.
I cannot say how sad I felt, but that made her dad realize that kids dont need the crap from parents faighting.

Now, if yuou cannot leave home, start planning on it. Seek a job, jsut as my daughter had to, and when the time is right move out to yr own corner. Just make sure you are mature enough to do it all and handle it well.

Or tell your parents that if they dont start realizing what they are doing to you , you will go to gramma';s and stay there until they get their act together.

that may shake their ground and make them realize what a big mistake they are making by leaving you out.

My daughter and I get along great, I adore her, but if she had not left and made it a point that we, her parents argued too much in the past, I never would have probabl made my spouse realize what He also did for her. We alienated her and she left. We are lucky she 's back and around and moving in with us in a few months.

However sometimes the damage for the children is so bad that tehre is no healing. So while you can and before it gets worse try some of the advice i've given you. If you are underage DONT RUN AWAY thats not my point.
Go to a family member's house and stay there.

I assure you , if they care for you, yr parents will learn the lesson and you can go back with better confidence and more peace.

If not, you are better off away, nobody is born with perfect parents but what a person learns from parents who argue or fight or worse is not a good thing. It may prepare you for a tough world, but a eprson can also repeat what they saw their parents do. The longer you absorb from them the more you will become like them.
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So check yr choices, family members, yr age, and get going on moving toward a real resolution. BELIEVE ME, DONT STAY IF THEY ARE ABUSIVE, I HAD TO LEAVE YOUNG BECAUSE MY DAD WS NOT SO KIND TO ME MANY TIMES. And Im glad I did it.

GOD WORKS IN MISTERIOUS WAYS , FRIEND, AND GOD WILL GUIDE YOU.
HE IS YR FRIEND, AND HE IS YR CREATOR, HE KNOWS ALL THAT YOU ARE GOING THROUGH, TRUST HIM. PRAY TO HIM BUT DONT ASK FOR THIS OR TAHT, JUST LET HIM KNOW YOU LEAVE IT ALL UP TO HIM AND THE REST IS UP TO YOU TO FOLLOW THROUGH
Things will work through, trust God. Pls do.
You won't regret it.
Humans fail, parents they fail us, friends fail, sisters fail, the only one taht does not fail is God's promise. ASk Jesus for his intervention.

God Bless You

Answer 9

There is probably nothing you can do. It is something they will have to work out themselves. I think it is such a waste of time to argue. Just be assured that you are not the cause of them acting this way.

Answer 10

try 2 make more most of ur time out in park, or college/school or if u r grown up u can livew seperately, wel gt bck 2 me at [e-mail]