can anyone tell me what my girlfriend is thinking while she waits to call me with her answer ? i caught her at her ex'x house this morning at 4:30 am i then called her cell phone and left message telling her that i just drove by and saw her their and she has to decide heim or me she;'s been "dating" him for 10yrs and he is abusive beats her and mentall and tells her he never wants to marry her or have kids because they would be retarded i asked her to marry me she said yes then i told her this morning as a message on cell phone to decide and if it's him i want the ring back i paid 5200 dollars for it i just want to know because i asked her to call me this morning is she scared to call or what is she trhinking about if its not me i told her i wont be mad i have never in 1 and 1/2 years raised my voice to her or bklamed her for anything just want to know what she is thinking right now?
2006-07-05 09:37:57 · 17 answers · asked by joe s 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You girlfriend/fiance is probably a littole confused. If she really was at her ex's it is possible that she was looking for closure, however, 4.30 in the morning does seem a little suspicious.
The question you need to ask is whether you would want to stay with her if she tells you that she was intimate with him?
You also have to rememeber that 7years is a really long time and she may be finding it hard to let go, no matter how bad he actually was to her. She allowed herself to become used to his behaviour and the treatment he gave her and it is hard to just forget and give up on something that you have given a huge chunk of your life to.
Though a year in a half is to some a really long time, it isn't really!
Your grilfreind could have been at her ex's home because she needed someone to talk to, someone who she thinks knows her better than anyone else....It could also be that maybe they are just friends and they were actually talking.
You really need to talk to your girlfriend, be patient, wait for her to come to you and while you wait do not stress yourself too much, It does not help anyone.
I also hope that you were able to resist becoming irrational and even manipulative...If you girlfriend is feeling a little confused you do not need to put any extra pressures on her.
The importnat thing for you to do is find out waht type of relationship your girlfriend has with her ex. Before asking about how she feels about you, think about how you feel about her. IS she really the one you want to spend forever with...Remember she has allot of emotional baggage and it is not going to be an easy ride - no relationship is, though from the sounds of it, it does sound like you have got allot to tlak about..
To end on a more positive note... YOur girlfriend could be confiding in her ex, who is now merely just a friend, she could have been telling him how happy she is with you and how unsure she was originally that it would work between the 2 of you...but now she knows it will.
She may have been looking for his blessing!
STAY POSITIVE. IT MAY NOT BE AS BAD AS IT SEEMS.
I hope it works out....if it doesn't, love will find you.xxx
2006-07-05 09:56:55 · answer #1 · answered by harriette 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would suggest moving on for a while. Give her some space to think things clearly. Obviously she hasn't settled things with her ex or else she would have moved on. 10 years is a long history with someone and it doesnt sound like she's over this guy. It sounds like you really love this girl but you can't always be there to take her back. Big mistake. This will only give her the idea that she can always play around and you'll still be there willing to take her back.
Who knows; she may come to her senses and come back to you, that is if you havent found someone who appreciates you first.
Good luck :)
2006-07-05 09:45:00 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she was at her x's house then you know she spent the night and you know what they were doing. Which tells me that she doesn't take you seriously...especially if he has beaten her in the past. I'm afraid she is going to do it in the future even if she does decide to go for you...she is hopeless and under his control...I am sorry you need to get the ring back and give it to someone who deserves it and you! Good luck!
2006-07-05 09:54:26 · answer #3 · answered by Workinmamma 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all...why are you stalking her at 4am??? Are you some kind of nut? Anyway, the obvious answer her is to start beating the hell out of her and stop being such a damn pu$sy!!!! She wants a real man in her life who is going to take control, not pu$sy foot around and wait for her to make such a lame decision!
2006-07-05 10:23:53 · answer #4 · answered by HOT A$S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow...not good. well 10 yrs is along time. she is scared. her ex made her feel like she could do no better then him. so she prolly thinks she is not good enough for you. that is prolly why she went back.
abusive relationships are hard to get away from. you need her to get some help. just a therapist, gives her a complete stranger to poor her whole thoughts out.
2006-07-05 10:13:39 · answer #5 · answered by Martin2006 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What was going through YOU'RE head? How could you possibly think you could make a woman happy when you can't even spell "him". I think you should try to bone one of her dumber, uglier friends to make her jealous and then get her pregnant ASAP. Those are your options here buddy.
I'd also start raising my voice more often. Don't be such a p**sy and she'll probably stop banging her ex.
2006-07-05 09:43:01 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he's been abusive, then she may feel like you are too good for her and she does not deserve to be treated good. It's a self esteem issue. Reassure her that she is wonderful and deserves more than to be treated like garbage. Maybe counseling would be good for her. I hope it works out for you. It sounds like you're perfect for her and really care about her. I hope she can see that.
2006-07-05 09:44:20 · answer #7 · answered by lexicam 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's a psycological thing. When women are abused it not only hurts them physically, but also mentally. She needs help. You just need to be there for her (and let her know that your there!)
2006-07-05 09:44:13 · answer #8 · answered by ______ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is possibly mentally unstable to begin with, or on drugs. At any rate get your ring back IMMEDIATELY and dump her quick fast! Be strong, and good luck.
2006-07-05 09:42:13 · answer #9 · answered by tiger_skratch 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A lot of time abused women don't think clearly. Be her friend but move on and save yourself some heartache.
2006-07-05 09:41:09 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋