She doesnt work and i work all day. when i get home dishes are piled high and the house is a wreck. how can get my redheaded wife to pull her share?
2006-07-05 08:07:41 · 41 answers · asked by texastweeter 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
We have the same issue. My wife is young, and I think that is the first problem. I have to sit her down every few months and get her to start cleaning more. Here is my approach; I tell her that is makes me happy when I get home, and the house is clean, but when I get home and the house is dirty, it makes me feel like you don't appreciate what I do. I try to give you a beautiful home, and make you happy, now it's your turn to make me happy. Try the same approach in bed. lol. Good luck.
2006-07-05 08:13:02 · answer #1 · answered by natex14 4 · 10⤊ 4⤋
Tell her that having a tidy house really helps reduce your stress level, which translates into being able to relax and enjoy her company more. Tell her that you feel like the house cleanliness has been 'slipping' lately, and ask what you can do to help. Ask her if you could both sit down and come up with a plan. Hopefully, she should take that opportunity to tell you that you work all day and shouldn't be expected to clean the house, too. If not, then indicate that you feel that way, but you are still willing to do some things if she needs the help. Point out that you will have to do them after work or on the weekend, because you work all day. It works for me, but everyone is different... Hope that helps a little.
That being said, how many kids you have at home is a huge variable. I have 3 kids (all under 7) and whenever I think that my wife is slacking, I just take the kids for a day and see how much I get done. Reality sets in quickly... appreciation follows closely!
2006-07-05 08:18:50 · answer #2 · answered by Big Papi 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband says to dump her butt & marry someone more motivated.lol. But he can only say that cuz he's married to a motivated person who's had to learn not to be a clean freak. So you have the same problem he did, just the opposite direction. We sat down & really talked about our situation from the other person's point of view. I came to realize that when he gets home from work, he doesn't want to have to pick up after himself, he'll get to his clothes in a few days. The deal though is, if it has been sitting there 2 or 3 days, I'm allowed to say something so it will get done. I've had to overlook a lot of things to.
Your best bet is just going to be good communication & empathy for the other person (both of you) If she stays home with the kids all day, this is a major reason why things don't get done. She may also just be a procrastinator (my husband is) and needs to be reminded. Or, you may just have to give in a little & let the dishes sit for a few days while you eat PB & J sandwiches on papertowels until she gets the hint that it's not fun to live that way.
One other thing, if she used to be motivated, but isn't now & not much has changed in your lives, she could just be depressed which is a whole different can of worms to deal with.
2006-07-05 08:18:04 · answer #3 · answered by pritigrl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
perhaps even as the sister-in-regulation, hubby & little ones come over you assert - "Yeah, and also you ought to have seen the position an hour in the past!" She is a slob. Disgusting. leave the stuff next time. You do a justifiable percentage - she is commencing to apply you if its like this each and each and every of the time and also you sparkling it up. till she is likewise searching after your 6 little ones that you probably did not indicate. Ask her - WHY did you leave the objective bags interior the hall? did not you already know there become sugar throughout-the-counter? do you want glasses? Is she depressed? Is she lazy? Spolied? Does more advantageous than you're declaring? that is needed to open your mouth and ask her questions. She doesn't concepts utilising you - don't be so waiting to enable her wreck out with it and careful mutually with her emotions because she'll save doing it till you're ill of it adequate to leave. Does she take a bathtub? (oh yeah - no towels) Gross
2016-10-14 03:51:09 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Offer to help her clean up the place. Tell her you would prefer the house cleaner and ask her to do more of the work. The other option is for her to get a job to pay a house cleaner. But make it her responsibility. Since she's redheaded, that must mean she has a red muff. Make her trim it closely.
2006-07-05 08:14:18 · answer #5 · answered by Big Momma Carnivore 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Im a stay at home mom and I make sure the house is clean. What is she doing all day? Just tell her what you just asked us. Do you have kids? Well thats no excuse for having a dirty house. I could see if there are toys laying around. But dirty dishes in the sink is gross!! I have four children and the house is immaculate. Good Luck!!
2006-07-05 08:14:22 · answer #6 · answered by crystal lee 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well is she really sitting on her butt or watching the kid? If you have kids.
If no to above then cook her a really nice dinner and while your eating tell her how hard you work and that as much as you try you just can't keep up with all the house work and ask her what she might think would help. If she doesn't respond with the "I can or we can try" line then just tell her you tried to be nice but you now have to put your foot down and let her have it.
2006-07-05 08:14:44 · answer #7 · answered by Justbeingme 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You might try and have a conversation with her while your out at dinner. Start by complimenting her on the things she does well. Then you can say "Honey.. it would really make a difference in how I feel about coming home afterwork if you would......" Also, you might add that "Lately, I feel kind of sad looking at our home because its not clean and tidy and it makes me feel stressed, unhappy, uncomfortable, and depressed (use any or all of the descriptions that apply) when I walk through the door so, would you please make more of an effort to......" Please no name calling, negative examples or references on how clean and tidy your mother was or is or no references to her not working. You need to get across to her how this makes you feel, and maybe help her with a schedule of what needs to be done and when. You can also offer to help her by saying including in your conversation the following "Sweetheart, is there anything I can help you do to help with getting our home back on track"
OK...Hope this helps.
2006-07-05 08:25:32 · answer #8 · answered by 247 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She should just do it, you are out working all day to support her the least she could do is make sure you come home to a clean house and dinner in the oven. Tell her to get a job and you stay home all day and do nothing.
Why are you still married again?
2006-07-05 08:14:23 · answer #9 · answered by Jules 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, just ask her politly why the chores arn't done. And do small things like take out the garbage or clean off the counters so she cant say you don't do any thing. Don't expect it to be spotless though.
oh and kids are no excuse. There were 5 of use. And my mother, fed, cleaned, watched, hung out laundry, choopped wood. Now there's just me and shes a single parent. She works, cleans, does laundry, mows the lawn. If my mother can raise two kids with no support, this woman can raise wher kids with support.
2006-07-05 08:10:54 · answer #10 · answered by Reality Check 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If this is a new problem, she should probably see a doctor. She could be depressed or have an illness that makes her fatigued.
If this is an old problem, it may just be her personality and you should have some long, caring talks with her about how to get the house work done.
2006-07-05 08:12:23 · answer #11 · answered by Lisa the Pooh 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋