Must you take your under 5 year-old children everywhere you go?

Question

Don't you realize that children that young don't belong in grocery stores, restaurants or movie theatres? First of all, they don't want to be there, and the rest of us deserve better than having to put up with them everywhere we turn.

Can't you shop online, order takeout or rent a DVD if you can't find a babysitter?

For those of you who have chosen to respond by namecalling me, no wonder today's children and teenagers are so rude. They learn BY EXAMPLE, instead of teaching them to disagree without being so ugly about it.

To answer some of your questions, yes, I was young, and yes I had two children I never took anywhere with me until they were older than 5 and better able to behave themselves at that point.

To Chris: Children under 5 aren't open to learning how to behave. Why do you think kindergarten doesn't start before then?

And yes, I totally agree it is the parent's fault and by some of their answers, there is a foregone conclusion that they're lousy parents, because if nothing else, they're teaching them to use personal attacks and namecalling to express disagreement, instead of simply saying that they disagree and why, like some have, which I have more respect for, btw

To Lady E: I never once paid a babysitter. My mother was very willing to take my children in when I was working or would go out, in return to giving her rides wherever she needed to go and to do anything else for her. And don't tell me that most of you don't have your mothers would be more than willing to spend time with your children, because they I would say that you're full of manure.

Answer 1

Haha. I think imagineworldwide has hit a sore spot with some of you.

First of all, nobody cares about your kids except you. Get over it.

Second, just because a person doesn't like a screaming brat doesn't mean they don't like kids. They just don't like screaming brats.

Third, who's fault is it that you can't afford a babysitter? Maybe you should have worked a little harder or planned a little better before you hit the print button on your xerox machine there.

Fourth, for all you single mothers and those of you who leech off of our military, let me say this. You are the lowest of the low. How about going out and doing some research to find out how single parenthood affects the children. Oh sure, you're fine. You have a good job, you make this, you do that, but it is your kids who suffer. Of course, it has to be said that there will be exceptions, but the statistics don't lie. Single parents are bad for kids. And before you blast the irresponsible men that you CHOSE to sleep with, who picked them? You did! So stop complaining. You got what you wanted. I know, a little off topic, but I had to chime in.

Answer 2

While I think that maybe the question could have been worded better I notice many of those attacking you seem to have missed the point.

The problem isn't parents taking their kids to those places as much as parents taking them to those places and then taking no responsibility for their kid's behaviour while they are there.

Yes I was 5 years old once, and I was taught very early that there was a right way to behave in public. When in a restaurant I was expected to sit quietly at the table and watch my manner. Running around the restaurent, shouting, playing with my food etc were NOT acceptable. Nowdays people seem to think that the wait staff and other patrons are some sort of communal babysitting service to watch THEIR kids while they enjoy their meal.

Temper tantrums in grocery stores, kids figeting and talking loudly through movies, and running around restaurants like playgrounds are unacceptable, yet the parents get defensive when someone says anything. "They're only kids" "children should be allowed to be children" "I deserve a night out" "babysitters cost too much etc, etc are childish and inconsiderate--you signed on to a full-time, 24/7 job when you had kids, it's not fair to other people to give up a pleasant evening out because you can't be bothered to control your children.

Bottom line--it's not that kids don't belong in grocery stores, restaurants or theatres, but parent's unwilling to take responsibility for their children shouldn't take them there.

edit: btw, dixi. An interesting post marred somewhat by the hypcrisy of accusing the questioner of throwing an "adult temper tantrum" before going on to indulge in a lot of childish name-calling.

Answer 3

You are a very selfish spoiled woman. Some people cannot afford a nanny to be at their beckon call, and some of us move around alot with men who serve YOUR country and therefore do not have family or many friends to be at our beckon call when we need to run errands either. In life sometimes you have to do some things that you don't want to do whether you are an adult or a child. Children have their moments, just like adults do as I can see by your post. You just threw an "adult temper tantrum", you just didn't yell or stomp your feet. Children have a harder time expressing themselves and controlling their feelings than we do, they are still learning. Although I do agree with you that if the child has not had a nap or there are other circumstances that would not make a trip fun for the parent/child or other people around that maybe they should wait until a better time, but sometimes some people do not have that luxury of waiting until a better time. How else do you teach a child to behave in a public place if they have never been out? We have taken our children out since they were born, and they do well, when they have a moment we deal with it. That is how its supposed to be done, that's how they learn. Ive seen scenerios where parents let the children run amuck and act crazy and that bothers me too, but unless they are affecting me or my family directly I don't bother with them, it's their problem. They have to deal with their unruly children. I'm assuming that you either don't have children yet or you have a babysitter at your beckon call, if you do then count your blessings sister because not many of us do.

WOw, I just read some of your replys. You sound like an angry woman, you might seek counseling for some of your issues. I do not agree with your reply that children younger than 5 cannot be taught how to behave, they are teachable from the time they are born. How you have underestimated your own children by locking them up until they were 5! That's a shame! My youngest daughter is 3 years old and she is VERY smart...and that might have a little to do with her mother and father taking the time to take her places and teach her things and not underestimate exactly what she can and cannot understand. Really...get some counseling, deal with your anger.

Answer 4

Why so bitter?..... Wow! I really think you need some counseling!

You know what - I think you need to be the one to stay at home - shop on line and rent movies for your own enjoyment.

1) I'm guessing that with your attitude, no one appreciates you being at the grocery store, movies, restaurant, etc. either.

2) No - young children don't want to be at the grocery store - guess what? - It's part of life. - get used to it. (That's my answer to both the 5 year old and the adult whining about the 5 year old being there).

3) Grow up! - It's not a perfect world - it's never going to be.

I totally agree that parents w/ small children should be respectful of those who don't have small children w/ them - however in the same breath, I also believe that the "adults" without small children should also show a little respect.

Obviously, you don't have the ability for either. In a perfect world, it would be nice to leave your children at home while you go shopping - Guess what? - It doesn't happen - Therefore, quit your freakin' whining and if you don't want small children around you while you are shopping, eating or watching a movie - maybe you should be the one shopping on line - OR - maybe you should do your errands at a 24 hour - while those of us who have small children and enjoy them are at home giving them baths and putting them to bed.!

Answer 5

You need to first mind ur business, if my children are a bother to you i suggest that you shop later in the evening. The answer is yes, because you are not the one paying $3 per min that i am late picking them up from the child care center, and you are not the one paying for the sitter on the weekends. Did it ever occur to you that i may enjoy having my children around? We are a family.
"Don't you realize that children that young don't belong in grocery stores, restaurants or movie theatres?" Says who?

BTW
I have seen single adults and teen age girls cause far more trouble that a child under 5.

tia_juan_4_ever, ur just a jerk!


My mother would never watch my daughter when she was small ans now that i have a son that is 2 she has even less to do with us. Just because your mother is willing to do things for you does not meant that all moms are that way.
You are an example of that, you would not take your childeren out in public when thay were under 5, most ppl do thake their young children places with them.

Answer 6

Parents have just a much of a right to go to a restaurant and grocery store as much as you. If you dont want to put up with it YOU sit home and shop online, order take out, or rent a DVD. My daughter is a year old and behaves very well for her age. But thats because I make sure that she is in a good mood before we leave. I dont know where you live but where I live NO ONE takes there under 5 year old to a movie theatre. I get a babysitter. Even the movie theatres here have daycares for 3 years and up so that the parents can watch their movie in peace.

I know I have a right to buy food and go out to eat whenever I want, and whenever my daughter starts acting up in a restaurant, which happens rarely, I take her out to the car or bathroom and help her get settled down.

I dont like children who act out of hand in public either but that is how they are and im sorry but not all of us can get a sitter to go to buy food for the house.

Not to mention that alot of kids older than 5 act worse than 2 year olds.


Oh and JustinB you either must be a child of a single mother or have a child in which the baby's mother has your *** by a string. We are sorry you feel that way. Im still with the father of my daughter and being married in 2 months. My parents were divorced and yes I suffered growing up but I have learned from my parents mistakes and know what NOT to do in raising them. If you think that being a single parent is SO awful why dont you go marry a single parent and make it all better for the child?

Answer 7

I personally don't have the luxury of parents or in-laws nearby to take care of my children for me. My children are 4 and 5. And I have taken them everywhere with me since the time they were born.

My children know how to act in public and they know the consequences of misbehaving when we are out. I can take them to the restaurant and I have never had to leave because they were screaming or fighting. They knew to sit there, colour while their meal was ordered, eat without throwing a fit.

I am very proud of my children and I always have people come up to me and tell me how well behaved they are. I can take them to a two hour PTO meeting and they don't cause a fuss.

They love going grocery shopping with me, because they get to mark off the things on the list and I always give them both something that is not written on the list to remember to buy while we are out. It shows them that I value them and trust them to help me with daily life.

I think the thing that most people forget is that they need to take the time when they are little to teach them what is expected and not put up with misbehaviour from the start.

Answer 8

What is your problem? Ya know, you used to be 5 yrs old once..what are people supposed to do stop having kids so selfish witches like you can have peace and quiet at a restaurant? I don't think so. Another thing, no, the rest of you don't deserve better than having to put up with them everywhere you turn because you obviously don't respect kids so why should they respect you? So what, after we have kids we're supposed to just sit at home inside and never leave until they are older so that YOU can have a quieter time wherever you go? Yeah right!

Get a life.


In addition to your comments: What kind of mother are you? Keeping your kids at home for their first 5 yrs? I bet you have screwed them up for life! Ya know, people usually say "welcome to the world" to their babies when they are born not "welcome to the monk life until you're 5"..and another thing, kids need to be out in public places otherwise they can't learn how to behave...you say they need to stay at home until they are old enough to learn how to behave in public? How can they do that if they are never IN public? You are one screwed up person let me tell ya. And as for the name calling, kids do learn by example---and your kids have obviously learned that it's okay to introvert your children until they are 5..wow I'd rather have my kids cussing up a storm then think that that's okay.



This question has me steamed because it's an arrogant way to look at things. Can I ask you this? If kids don't belong in restaurants, stores, or movie theaters then why are there such things as kids menues, candy aisles, and animated movies? You need to get off your high horse and realize that children, not just over the age of 5 but ALL children, are part of this world.

You obviously were a horrible mother to think that your kids should revolve around your world instead of your world revolving around them.

Answer 9

You must be NUTTS! WHY don't you shop online , order take out, rent a DVD! See I have 3 kids and I will NOT pay someone to raise my children and I don't feel that I should be punished for having kids!!! My children are my life , wich is what you need.....GET A LIFE B*TCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Children Should not be locked up in the house like a caged animal, they need to be out in the world and learning people skills, I would hate to think what the world might be like if all children were left at home untill after 5. By the way my children are very well behaved. but if they were to be rude to a person like you...Right ON!!!!

Answer 10

I sorry you feel that way. I three children and I'm at home 95 percent of the time. I get tired of being at home. Sometimes I don't have a choice ,but to take my kids with me. My husband works out of town most of the time. I can't just call a babysitter if my husband and I want to go out. I think you should just deal with it and stop complaining. People have the right to be in public including children. If you don't like it you stay at home and rent a movie.

Answer 11

i have 3 children under the age of 3 and usually get a babysitter for my 16 mo old twins when i have errands to run because i know they would rather play at gramma's house than be stuck in a stroller, but my 2 1/2 yr old loves going into stores with me. i have never seen a sign posted at a grocery store or resturant that has said "no children under 5 allowed" but i have seen children 5 and over have temper tantrums in stores and other public places. that is just life, parents can't predict their childs behavior. they may seem fine and happy throughout the first half of the shopping trip and towards the end get cranky and have a temper tantrum. i have had this happen to me and it is embarrasing and it sucks, but i dont think that we should treat our younger children like pets and keep them out of public places. what if they wanted to keep older people out of grocery stores because it is annoying to walk behind them when they are walking slow? everyone gets annoyed, but you obviously have a problem with little kids, why dont you try doing your shopping or eating out later at night when kids will be in bed?