should i change?

Question

I'm 21 and i have always been that nice guy that everyone takes for granted. I don't get many dates and i can't ever get things to go good for myself but i still make an effort to help others. should i stop worring about others and start working on myself

Answer 1

yes/no don't stop worring about others but start working on yourself to.

Answer 2

Yes, focus on yourself. Consider this example: when you fly on a plane and they go over the standard safety procedures, you surely must be familiar with what happens when the air pressure fails. Those masks will come down, and they tell you that if you are seated next to a small child, you need to put the mask on yourself first, then assist the child. The reason is you need to be able to function in order to help the child. This applies in life as well. It's not selfish to put yourself first when you've been putting yourself on the back burner. It's nice to be a nice guy, but you can't interchange nice guy for door mat. That's what you're doing. Don't let people step all over you. There is a distinct difference in being helpful and being a pushover. Take a good hard look and you will see it too. Good luck!

Answer 3

I have to say I am 26 and am exactly like you. I always screw myself just so someone else can be happy, but no one is ever considerate or caring of me or my needs.
Please stop and worry about yourself. the rest of the world only cares about themselves it has never gotten me anywhere and I regret always being like this. Unless you want nice guy award, just drop it. I know it takes time cause you're a good person and you were probably raised that way, but give it a try. I started not caring this week, and it's going good so far! LOL

Answer 4

Just be the kind of person you want to attract, in other words if you want a drunk or druggy do that all the time and guess what you will find yourself being attrative to that kind of person, go to church every sunday and doing church activities and you will find someone that likes that will start liking you etc.etc.it really works and you can really be yourself while going through this process. If that does not work try e-harmony.com but always be yourself,always because the real you will surface sometime later no matter how much you change for someone else and face it wouldn't you get tired of the pretense 24/7. be patient and it will come.

Answer 5

The question isn't should you change, but CAN you change? If you have a basic "nice guy" personality I'd think you would want to keep that. You do have one thing right tho, you need to stop worrying about others. Just be yourself & make YOU happy. At the end of the day, YOU are who you are alone with, ya know?
I wish you all the best & wish I'd known more guys like you in my lifetime. Hang in there.

Answer 6

you should always love yourself first , but the fact that u help others make you who u are, so don't stop doing that.
just focus on yourself a little more, make some minor changes: like your clothes, hair and maybe the cologne that you wear or don't wear. Work on your dating technique as well, you be surprised in a difference these changes can make. The changes will also make you feel good as well as attract that special someone. Stay positive!

Answer 7

I think if you start concentrating on YOU, then you will feel much better about YOU and you'll find the right person. You already know you are a caring person. Once you have worked on YOU, you will still be able to be there for others (which is a good trait) and by that time, you'll be in better shape. Don't change that good trait altogether though.

Answer 8

You should never stop worrying about others. I doubt that you could do that anyway. Continue being a nice guy. Don't let others reactions to you change who you are. However, you need to put yourself first. It's not selfish to take care of yourself first as long as you don't hurt others in the process. I don't think you could. I hope your day and days to come are pleasant.

Answer 9

no but you should be careful that people don't take you for granted. don't stop worring and helping others though.. a special person will come along for you and will love you just the way you are... even if it takes time to wait for this person it is worth it. don't change who you are to please people.

Answer 10

That would depend on what is really important to you. What goals have you set, and what are you doing to reach those goals while you are helping others out? You can help yourself while you are helping others. It doesn't have to be one or the other. You can do both at the same time.