Every weekend or two I drive 1 hour to visit my husband's family so they can see the kids. He has an elderly Aunt, who very well knows what she is saying, constantly putting down my kids in front of me. They are 5 and 5 months old! She critizices everything from what they eat to how they are being taken care of!
I've tried ignoring her but my feelings are hurt to the point where I leave the room and start crying in another room out of her sight. I've discussed this with my husband several times and he says "Oh, that's the way she is. She's just old". Bull! A person knows what they are saying otherwise they wouldn't say it!
Today, I called her on the phone (finally in 10 years)and let her have it. Her response? "Oh, I don't want to hear it!" Can you believe that? As a mother, I take great pride in being a stay at home Mom taking care of my children and spending tons of quality time with them.
How can I get her to back down? She only picks on me.
2006-07-05 06:20:07 · 9 answers · asked by flea 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
If it were me I would visit again and see if anything has changed since your conversation then if it hasn't I would right her a nice but firm letter advising her that you will no longer be bringing your children to visit due to the mental abuse and negativity she is exposing you and your children to. See if that works and if it doesn't stop going as you do not need to put up with that and you have done it long enough not to mention your children do not need to hear those things about you whether they are true or not. Children should be exposed to positive, uplifting people that are going to have good influences on them and help them grow up to be positive, optimistic adults. It is so easy to influence children at that age. You are a strong adult and know it is wrong even though it still hurts. Your children are just learning wrong from right and you don't want them to learn that bulling people and making them feel bad is right. Just remember sometimes you can't teach and old dog new tricks. Instead you just have to walk away. Good luck!
2006-07-05 06:31:59 · answer #1 · answered by Knock Knock 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You may not want to hear this but there is one in every family that doesn't know how to act any other way than rude. Sometimes the older they get the grumpier they are. You need to try your hardest to brush it off, because if you know that your children are being properly treated and cared for then you need to ignore her. I am pretty sure that she is rude to others in the family they just aren't brave enough to voice it. I really hope this help and trust me when I say you are not alone on this situation.
2006-07-05 06:27:09 · answer #2 · answered by adkfoaiefnafedw 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm glad you called her and told her about it, since she didn't respond favorably on the phone, maybe she will in person. BUT if she doesn't, I would call her on it. Don't just complain to hubby, call her on it in front of the whole family. Let your husband know you are going to do this and maybe he will finally step in, but if he doesn't when she kicks off say "Aunt B*tch (insert name here) I am tired of listening to the untrue and negative things you say about me and to me! I realize you are old and feel entitled to speak your mind but you are rude. Your behavior is setting a bad example for my children and if you can't be nice we won't be coming any more." And stick to it. Maybe go once every 6-8 weeks to see it she has changed her attitude!
Good luck!
2006-07-05 13:00:37 · answer #3 · answered by beth l 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her to piss off. You husband's aunt should not be allowed near the children. Her words, whether she knows what she's saying or not, will have a detrimental effect on the kids.
2006-07-05 06:25:26 · answer #4 · answered by mistresscris 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She can dish it out but she can't take it when you nailed her ***. And about time too. Never hesitate to stand up for yourself to the ding bat aunt or anyone else. If anyone in the family tries to get involved, ask them do they wanna be next? You go girl!
2006-07-05 06:41:30 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Until your husband shapes up and cares about your feelings, I'd refuse to go to visit. I'd insist that the kids not go either. Your husband should stick up for you. If he can't or won't he doesn't deserve to be your husband.
2006-07-05 06:24:45 · answer #6 · answered by lynda_is 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do what I do.... defend your f*cking kids!!! Next time... just tell her to f*ck off (maybe use nicer words). Who in their right mind would be mad at a mother defending an innocent child!? What's she gonna say.... "Hey, I like being a b*tch to your kids!"..... probably not.
2006-07-05 06:52:49 · answer #7 · answered by BrownTown 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her that "you dont want to hear it " when she critizices you.
2006-07-05 06:26:26 · answer #8 · answered by lizzy*lou 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stop going.
2006-07-05 06:24:13 · answer #9 · answered by Pirate_Wench 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋