Marriage second time around....?

Question

How can you ask a priest for a traditional Catholic wedding ceremony when your b/f has been married before (in presbytarian church) but now he is divorced. Does it matter that he was married before?

Answer 1

I can speak for neither the Catholic church nor the Presbyterian.

What the Bible says about multiple marriages:

Matthew 19:9 And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.

I don't know why your bf was divorced. If it was not because of fornication (infidelity) on the part of his ex-wife, he does not have a right to remarry, and you will both be committing adultery if you marry.

If he does have the right to remarry, I wish both of you a lifetime of happiness.

Answer 2

He must get his marriage annulled first. The Priest won't, or shouldn't perform the marriage as your boyfriend is technically still married in the eyes of Jesus (Matthew 6:31) and you're both a party in committing adultry. Some marriages are not considered valid in the eyes of the Catholic Church, but as it's in a Presbyterian Church who's baptism I'm sure is recognized by the church (converts only do a profession of faith and do not need to be baptised), I'd be willing to take a guess that the Catholic church does recognize the marriage as valid. Either he needs to go back and reconcile with his wife, or he has to get it annulled.
Regardless, until it is proven that he did not have a valid marriage, you should not be with him - you are committing a mortal sin.

Talk to your Parish priest, or if you haven't been going for a long time, call up your local parish and make an appointment with the parish Priest and he can explain it to you, discuss your steps and options available. Google it, etc.

If you're Catholic, really - you should know the answer to this, if you don't, I think you need to attend an RCIA class and get a refresher on your faith.

PS: It's not a ceremonial ritual - its the Sacrament of Marriage, one of the seven Holy Sacraments of the Catholic Faith, a covenant between a man and a woman and God.

Answer 3

If he was married before but it was not within the Catholic Church, then he's in the clear. He doesn't need to go through an annulment process with the Catholic Church or anything.

Is your fiancee Catholic? If so, he will need to be reconciled with the Church through the sacrament of reconciliation (confession), due to the fact that he previously entered into a marriage outside the Church when he should have done so within the Church.

If he's not Catholic and you are Catholic, and you've never been married before, then you should be good to go -- you'll just have to agree to raise as Catholic any children that you have.

God bless you and your fiancee ... feel free to PM me if you have any other questions ...

Answer 4

To a lot of Catholics, it does matter. We couldn't even get my daughter baptised in my wife's Catholic church because we did not have a Catholic wedding. They can be very strict, but it depends on the church in which you are wanting to have the ceremony. You just have to ask them if it is a problem. It's not just Catholic churches either. When we were looking for churches to have our wedding, we asked a non-denominational church and they turned us down because we were living together before marriage. So it is tricky. Good luck with everything.

Answer 5

It probably will depend in large part on whether or not he is/was a Catholic, and whether or not he is willing to become one. Many Catholic priests will agree to a marriage out of the faith if you swear an oath to raise the children as Catholics. Some might not, or might require him to convert. Hopefully you (as a Catholic, I am guessing) have not been married before, or if you were, you received an annullment or other dispensation from the Church. These are rarely given, but are not impossible to get.

Answer 6

Much of it depends on the Father performing the ceremony.
Typically, you can't have a full Mass (with communion) if he's not Catholic. He can go through RCIA classes to become Catholic, but if you don't want to wait, a Civil ceremony can be performed.
If he is Catholic, he'll need to prove he's made all his sacraments. Then the Father can go to the Bishop to have him absolved of the first marriage. It's really good that you are trying to approach your marriage this way and I wish the best for you.
But again, speak directly with the Father at your church. He will guide you on what can be done.

Answer 7

Not usually, if he was married before in the catholic church, I'd know that he would have to have gotten an annulment before he could remarry in the church.But non-catholics I don't think it matters, the best thing to do is to talk to your priest, he will set yu on the right path.

Answer 8

Well biblically, Paul states that it is better to marry than to burn with passion.

But the Catholic church has its own beliefs, and from what I remember about our life in that dark time,

The catholic church refused to aknowledge the marriage of my husband and myself, because I was not Catholic. They repeatedly told him to divorce himself of me and get married for real to a Catholic woman.

So according to your pope and not the bible, if you have never been married in the church , and he is now a Catholic, and has never been married in the church, they will perform the ceromial catholic ritual.

Answer 9

It's no problem if he didn't get married in a Catholic ceremony the first time.

Answer 10

One of my friends is Catholic, and his fiancee had been in a marriage before. They just had their wedding in a Catholic church last year, but I don't know what they had to do. It can be done, though.