My boyfriend is always talking about marriage with me. All his friends are either married or engaged or almost about to be engaged! He tells me that everyone knows that we are going to get married and that he can't wait to be married and start a family. I am 22 and he is 25. However, everytime we talk about it he mentions the fact that he will only be married at 28 and therefore engaged at 27. If i'm supposedly the one he wants to be with, then why would he have to wait so long in order to ask me!?!? Is he just stringing me along? Am i being naive? i'm not sure what to think. Its not that i'm in a rush, i just dont understand what he's thinking or what he is rationalizing!!
2006-07-05 05:13:06 · 10 answers · asked by brownigrl00 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
It sounds like either he still has alot of growing up to do or he can forsee the future . . . and I highly doubt the last one. You can either wait around for him to turn 27 and propose or you can seriously consider moving on and find someone else who knows what he wants now.
Good luck.
2006-07-05 05:18:58 · answer #1 · answered by Angie P. 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
PLEASE don't rush into it, even if you're sure he's the one. You are soooo young and you have so much time to enjoy being footloose and fancy free. Take my word for it, there is no reason to rush into being married.
If you're really worried about it, ask him if he'd consider a 3 year long engagement. That way you'd feel more like you're getting somewhere and he's still be able to put it off a while. Believe me, I really don't think you should worry that he's stringing you along, 27-28 is a good age to get married. He's probably just being sensible.
Relax and enjoy your youth! It will all come in time. I got married at 30 and I'm so glad I waited.
2006-07-05 06:48:13 · answer #2 · answered by brown_iyed_grrl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with the first response....maybe he wants to wait until you're older, and is just using his age as an excuse. Maybe he is afraid that since you are younger than him, you might not stick around and wants to make sure he is doing this right. At any rate, he is obviously not ready for some reason but the fact that he talks about you two getting married, etc, means a lot. Most jerks won't even talk about the "M" word (marriage) especially if they don't care about the person they are dating in that way.
My advice is it wait it out. The most important thing is that you are with someone you love and he loves you (He wouldnt be with you if he didn't, right!?). What does it realy matter if you are married right now? It doesn't...all that matters is that you two are happy together.
Also, who knows, he might have a big plan to ask you to marry him and is just trying to throw you off! So, you should be the nice innocent girlfriend and not ruin his plan and just see what happens! :-)
Good luck!
2006-07-05 05:24:23 · answer #3 · answered by Amanda 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
RELAX, MY DEAR! Firstly you can just ask him? the most probable explanation would be that he wants to prove the value of your relationship by vaiting a couple of years till you get engaged, so he loves you and cant wait to be married to you in a couple of years time. So you love each othet sincerely and neither of you is in a rush, so where is the problem? most probably he feels that the kids would come soon after marriage, that in fact the two of you dont need the mariage, but it would be better for the kid, and that you are too young now, while when you are 25, that is the perfect age for a baby? And yes, he cant wait for it. I bet this is the reason. he feels it yould be selfish if he wanted a baby now, when you are 22 and still having other interests than diapers and bottles etc.
or maybe he has some really special inside reason why he would like to get married at exactly that time, it can be something related to his or your career, or my sister wanted to pick really nice date for her marriage , like all letters the same, or so. is he int astrology? thousands reasons, but not necessarily an issue to be worried. why dont you (next time he gets to this issue) ask him what the reason is, why he picked this timing. or even tease him and say dont you realize that maybe i too want to say somehing about this?? what if i prefered one year earlier or one year later?
2006-07-05 05:44:03 · answer #4 · answered by iva 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I do think that 27 or 28 is a good age to get married, if you are going to be together anyway then what is the point of waiting. If you feel like your relationship is at the point where you should take that next step and he doesn't then I think you should move on. He obviously thinks that you are going to sit around and wait for him for 2 more years. What exactly is he waiting for? What does he need to be single for for those 2 years?
2006-07-05 05:20:11 · answer #5 · answered by Constant_Traveler 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to talk to him about this. Communication is the key to a long relationship. Maybe he has some goals he would like to accomplish before getting engaged, or maybe he feels you guys are too young right now, or maybe he can't afford the ring yet. He's the only one that can answer that. I would just sit him down and talk to him, just don't come across as pushy, guys hate that. And tell him there is nothing wrong with a long engagement. The more time you have to plan your wedding, the better.
2006-07-05 05:20:20 · answer #6 · answered by SweetPea 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are too young to get married. Obviusly, he thinks that you are the one that he would like to get married, but you are both in the early stages of adulthood and is wonderful of him to think about being 28 before getting married, when you both have had already pursue carrees or studies and both have fulfill normal experiences in life thats should be experienced before getting married, and also, by then you should have the proper financial stability needed to start a marriage.
If you are not in a rush, then don't be. Good luck
2006-07-05 06:01:48 · answer #7 · answered by Blunt 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my boyfriend and i are going through the same thing but i know he isnt stringing me along. sometimes i think "why cant we just get married since we know we want to later on." well we both realized that be want to be financially stable and also be done with school which will be in another year or so. we also know what age we want to have kids. i think he is thinking about the future which is smart cuz when people rush into marriage they never seem to work. maybe he wants to plan ahead....
2006-07-05 06:41:26 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask him why he has it set on him being 27 before he's engaged. Maybe at that age is when he feels his '20's' will almost be over and he will feel better about giving up single life.
2006-07-05 05:19:52 · answer #9 · answered by bluez 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He might be waiting until you're a little bit older too...
2006-07-05 05:17:22 · answer #10 · answered by ksgirl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋