Of all the gin joints in all the world, which one did you embarass yourself in ...?

Question

....so much so that you felt you could never return?

I love drunken tales. Do tell!

Answer 1

I don't remember the name of it. I don't remember what it looked like. I only remember that it was Bristol, in the South west of England. It was a celebration, because I'd not only escaped the city, which I hated, but was also free of a revolting relationship. It was my last visit to the city, with two friends I'd made who lived there.

It was an absinthe joint.

We ordered three shots, and they set fire to it. The trick was to drink it through the fire. It tasted horrible, like Hell's absinthe. But then there was nothing - no pow in the brain, nothing.

"Well I must say, I'm a bit disappointed in this stuff," I said. "I thought it would ha-"

I woke up in a plate of spaghetti bolognaise. No recollection of how I'd got there, no recollection of eating any of it. But I must have done, because the only reason I woke up at all was the overwhelming need to vomit. I surfaced, and it all came shooting out of me.

Another of the things of which I had no recollection was meeting up with some of the friends of one of my pals. One of them was altogether less impressed with me in my conscious state than he had been while I slumbered into my dinner. Not entirely unfair, as he caught most of it as it rocketed out of me like some dark, crimson, stringy volcanic debris.

I crawled, on my hands and knees, to the bathroom, and died there many many times over the next half hour.

I was eventually poured into a cab and sent home to my pal's house, where I was staying the night. I collapsed just inside their front door and stayed there all night, this foul, vomit-soaked door-stop.

The next morning, I left early to go home to Wales, stopping on the way to buy a shirt and a brand new hat. That was the end of my time in Bristol, and though it was grim, it was also kind of fitting - the whole place made me sick for much of the time I lived there, so it was pretty much payback being a b*tch.

Answer 2

ar ar arh, Galvez Hotel, hotel bar-1986- one sultry and very humid August evening, Galveston Island Tex. To the best of my knowledge it involved some siren in a Red Dress, ohh she could dance and tell a tale of intrigue that could curl your toes.
Thats really all i can say, other than i was helped to the door by the biggest bouncers i have ever seen in my life/ and something was said about a lifetime no entry tresspass order/ Im sure it was all just one big misunderstanding.But really there drinks were really over priced, and the ambiance was lacking anyway.
and the band sucked!! Thats probably all i am allowed to say
Thanks for asking/ I feel much better getting that albatross off my chest.... this was an excert from "JuJu the lost years"
and its from the fiction aisle of your library. JuJu

Answer 3

This was no gin joint.. but alchohol was flowing just as easily. I was in the former Soviet Union, Belarus to be exact, as part of 2 companies conducting a project training the locals. At the end of the trip, we had a bbq picnic/party next to a lake. We supplied beer, wine and champage and I was drinking a fair amount. After a while, some of the trainees started offering me their home-made vodka, each one had his own special "brew". I did not want to offend them so I drank a glass (I mean a full glass) of each variety. I seem to have a memory gap issue with what exactly hapened after that, embarassing blurred flashes of trying to kiss some of the female trainees ocassionally run through my brain. Here's what I do know - I woke up in a hotel room the next day in a city about a 100 miles away from where the party took place. My feet were covered in mud.. Days later, a colleague of mine emailed me a picture. It was me in tighty whities, coming out the lake with one of our trainees. And I don't know how to swim.. I have heard stories about how I got into that pose, but I'll keep that out of this reply.

Answer 4

In July of 1993, I was partying with my buddies in an unnamed location. This place was really getting wild, and I was trashed on Jack Daniels and some chemical substances that will go unnamed. The band was really good, and I was dancing with this really hot chick that I had known maybe fifteen minutes, but she had moves that I had never seen before. The band played a slow song, and we were all over each other like crazy, and when the song was over, she grabbed my hand and led me to a back corner of the bar. She was wearing a miniskirt, and she pulled off her panties, sat me in a chair, unzipped my fly, and started riding me right there in the bar filled with about 300 people. Well, one of the bouncers had seen us go to the back, and instead of kicking us out, he gathered his friends to watch, and took some pictures. I was forever immortalized, as one of the pictures still hangs on the mirror behind the bar.

Oh, and we did get kicked out, but the bouncer let us finish first.

Answer 5

I can't recall, exactly, which maybe a good thing. But this one experience I had was quite unusual. I had wandered in from an exhausting journey and sat down at the bar. There was a fellow next to me and he was shaking his head. Curiousity got the better of me and I asked him what was wrong. He reached into a box and pulled out appeared to be a man, no bigger than a Barbie. Then he withdrew a Piano, just the size of the man. He put the little man in front of it and he began to play. It was amazing. I had never heard anything like it.
I asked him where he found this little man and his piano.
He shook his head and pointed to the backdoor. "A genie out there granted me one wish.." Eager to know more I butted in, "Is he still there?" He laughed, "Ha, probably.." I ran out the door and there the genie was, a little tipsy but still in the alley. "I s'pose you wanna wish, too." He rolled his eyes and said, "Well get on with it, then."
I then blurted out, "I wish for a million bucks!" I held my hands open awaiting the anticipated windfall. Imagine my surprise as I was showered with one million Mallards. After digging my way out of the carcasses and spitting out feathers, I sputtered, "You ***, I said BUCKS." But he had vanished. I shook my head and went back into the bar. The fellow with the little man asked me, "So what'd ya wish for?" I told him and he inquired, "And what didya get?" I told him about the ducks. He laughed and then asked me, "Well, do you really think I wished for a 12 inch pianist?"

Answer 6

Well, about a month ago, we went swimming! We sat in the taverna by the coast and we drank some ouzo!
Since I was not driving and had just completed some project application procedures, and although we (two guys) were with two nice and dynamic businesswomen, I drank so much that although they did not notice, but I was so drank that next day I woke up without remembering the night before! When later I met them, they were happy and I kept my level! That is not embarrassing , but I lost the great show! They show me some little videos shot in their cell phones!

Answer 7

I had just graduated from college and went out for margaritas with some friends. I knew a lot of people at the restaurant and everyone kept buying me shots; Grand Mainer, tequila, vodka, you name it. I got so smashed that when we left, I ended up humping the handicapped sign (the kind on a post) as we left. Pictures were taken and the handicapped sign will never be the same.

Answer 8

Well, there's this bar in Toronto called Cheers. My best friend and I stopped in one Sunday night which also happened to be Karaoke night! Well as the night wore on and after many beers, we decided we were going to sing. I couldn't sing if my life depended on it but my friends voice wasn't to bad. Well we sang a couple of songs that night. The next day, thinking back on it, I was so embarrassed, to this day I have never returned there. This happened about 5 years ago.

Answer 9

Rick's Cafe Americain in Casablanca. Me and the boys were drinking Schnapps and having a good time, and Fritz started to play the Piano. We were having a good time singing "Die Wacht am Rhein" and all of a sudden this upstart started to sing" La Marseillaise" Naturally all the great unwashed in the bar started to sing that awfull song, with the band joining in. We had to stop singing right in the middle of our song. How embarrassing!

Answer 10

I fell asleep at the Scrap Bar in NYC many moons ago... Head on the bar, drooling on the napkin that held my drink... The owner asked my friends to wake me up and take me home. With as loud as the music was in that place (loud metal, skanky biker bar) I can't believe I fell asleep! That'll teach a little suburban girl to go to a biker bar and drink mind erasers all night! OK, didn't teach me, I went back many times after that... But, never fell asleep there again!