how hard should you spank a child?

Question

how hard should you spank a child if he/she does something really bad? where do people spank their children? do they have to spank their child in public if he/she does somehing bad?

Answer 1

I got spanked occassionally (hard enough for me not to do whatever it was that I did to get spanked in the first place ever again). To me, getting pinched HARD was worse than a spanking. If you don't have the heart to spank, I say pinch the hell out of 'em!

Answer 2

Some people will tell you that spanking is always inappropriate.

Our experience was that it was to be avoided when possible, but at very young ages, where (1) real and severe danger was involved if the child did not obey and (2) the child cannot reason and responds only to physical discomfort, then spanking was appropriate.

Spanking is not (1) hitting your kid when you are mad/frustrated, or (2) beating them over and over until you think they've had enough, or (3) embarrassing/shaming them in front of others.

If the situation is a dangerous one, the child's hand would be smacked (for example, if putting something in an outlet) or whacked on the butt (for running away when ordered to stop, headng for traffic). In those situations, the negative experience has to be tied as closely to the bad behavior as possible, for it to be effective.

For those few cases of downright and repeated rebellion that no other punishent worked for, and yet did not involve physical danger, my wife or I would take our child into a private room, explain to them what was going on and why, and then proceed with one swat that was sharp and to the point.

Often, we cried more than our child did. We experienced the pain with them, and afterwards would hold them and reaffirm the relationship.

We only rarely had to spank, and other punishments became more effective as they grew more able to reason.

Our kids (ages 8-11 right now) are still kids and have their share of faults, but contrary to what some credit negatively to spanking, they are not afraid of us, they are not physically aggressive or mean to others, they are polite and well-behaved kids even when they're rambunctious, and they are respectful of other people -- *much* more so than many kids whom we can tell were not disciplined. We have had many adults tell us that our children are well-behaved and considerate.

I think the "proof is in the pudding."

Some people who ridicule spanking have never had children. Others have kids who disrespect authority because they never were forced to comply. "Not spanking whatsoever" is usually a hypothetical ideal.

I would strongly advise to never "spank" your child when you are angry or frustrated, because at that point you are doing it for yourself and not for them.

I would also strongly advise to do it privately; you do not want to shame or embarrass the child by doing it publicly, your point is to reinforce what is and is not acceptable behavior. If you are in public at the time, tell them what will happen when you get home, and stick with the plan.

Answer 3

I don't think you should make a habit out of spanking. if they did something extremely bad then a tap on the butt should work. but in general every day events, a timout or taking away something they enjoy like playing or watching tv should have a better impact on them. A spanking doesn't teach them what they did wrong and never spank in public. If they are out of control somewhere like a store, get them out of there and let them know you won't tolerate that kindof behavior. Good luck.

Answer 4

They need to feel it but it should not be so hard that it pushes them over or knocks them down. It is a good idea not to just do it as a reaction, but tell them if you continue this behavior you are going to get a spanking, and make sure you are calm when you do it.

In public I would take my kid out to the car or something but they would know they were going to get some discipline right then. Part of the discipline is taking them away from where they are, which they usually feel kind of embarrassed about because they know it's because they've misbehaved.

It is essential that the parent and child have a good understanding of what is expected of the child's behavior and that they talk about the problems that are happening, so the child knows clearly when they are misbehaving and why they are being disciplined.

Answer 5

If they do something in public take them back to the car. If you find you bruise the bottom when you spank, it's too hard. Everyone bruises differently. I think using a hand hurts you more than the child. A light rap with a large wooden utensil gets the point across. And it travels well in the car.

Answer 6

Spanking isn't the only form of discipline and a few infants do no longer respond to it no matter how puzzling you hit them. in case you're searching for procedures of springing up it harm worse and leaving marks then you certainly are on the line between discipline and abuse. i might study the statstics of ways spanking outcomes infants as antagonistic to different styles of discipline, I easily have. listed here are a pair of issues to think of roughly. a million. Are you spanking your baby to make you experience extra helpful when you consider which you're offended? 2.Does spanking them easily prepare them the thank you to alter the habit it quite is an issue? 3. Spanking is extra handy for human beings than questioning of ingenious the thank you to discipline their infants that easily teaches them some thing advantageous. 4. discipline shouldn't purely be approximately combating specific behaviors, it additionally might desire to incorporate coaching the excellent or wished habit.

Answer 7

Asking leads me to believe that maybe you shouldn't be spanking your child at all. Find another form of discipline, one in which you are completely sure of yourself. Remember the punishment needs to fit the crime. When you are in public and your child acts up punishment is needed but DO NOT HUMILIATE your child in front of others. Speak to the child in private, immediatly and don't give them a second chance to act up.

Answer 8

A good 4 or 5 swift swats on the butt is hard enough. If you don't want to do that, you can pop them on their ears or pinch hard (that works well) or you can do what my mom did sometimes when she didn't spank us and pop us real hard on the head with her middle knuckle. None of that feels good, but it definetely gets the point across. And yes, if it comes down to it, you should spank your child even in public.

Answer 9

I spank hard enough to hurt. A spanking is not a warning or a form of communication. It is a punishment used after warnings or milder forms of punishments have failed, and therefore should be unpleasant. Although I have never left a bruise their little bottoms are certainly bright red when I am finished.

Answer 10

In bible, it says that if u spare the rod, you spoil the child! To me, i believe very much in using the 'rod' if i have to but spank him 'lovingly' on his butt even if your heart cries.. My husband gave my son a really HARD one just once on his bums n till now, my son darent test his limit with his dad though they are definitely having no problems enjoying great fun together! Its like magic... the moment the father stares at him, he automatically gets the signal and will stop whatever he knows is not approved by his dad. Just one hard one is alot better than many light ones n yet, never learn his/her lessons! btw, please, only on the buttock n not in the public but privately! Make sure your spouse is there so that your child will understand that his parents are forever sharing the stand. Do give a warning 1st before u start on your displinary act.