my wife to be that the color was not flatering this was not good if i dont give imput she says i dont care if i do give imput she thinks i'm being a jerk
WHAT DO I DO?
2006-07-05 04:25:45 · 20 answers · asked by darrenfanelli 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
First, buy flowers - skip the chocolates, she is on a diet right now.
Second, realize you are going to lose THIS particular fight. Just give it up. Tell her you are sorry and want her to have whatever she wants because you love her.
Third - When a bride wants "imput" she usually means she wants you to confirm you love her and her choices. Only give actual opinions if directly asked (Do you like this? is NOT a real question Do you want red or blue? is a real question). If you are going to try to change her mind on other things for the wedding (and you will), try stating it in a positive way.
E.G.
Wrong - Purple wedding cake is stupid!
Right - I always imagined my wedding cake would be white, it wouldn't be the same if it was purple. I want everything to be perfect for you.
Wrong - I hate your forty-two inbred cousins, why do they have to come?
Right - Why don't we keep it small so we can splurge on the honeymoon? I would rather spend my money directly on you than feeding all our friends.
Fourth and most important - These are details. Just give in on anything that won't actually ruin your life. Trust me you will be happier wearing that pepto-bismo colored tux than you would be if she leaves you over it. Think of every sacrafice as a present for her.
PS. Two comments on your bride to be's side. One, men routinely complain they are not involved in wedding planning, but often don't keep track of enough details to have informed opinions. Remember her family and friends will blame HER if things go badly, so she has more on the line than you do. Two, Some brides choose unflattering bridesmaids dresses on purpose. If she is doing that, some comments about how beautiful and sexy you think she is may be in order. Heck, say them anyway, they can't hurt.
2006-07-05 04:46:45 · answer #1 · answered by Jeanne- LEAVES Military Ministry 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Your wife might be put under a lot of stress right now. Brown is a terrible color for a wedding and a summer one at that. Tell her that is both of you are getting married and you should at least give her some help in planning. It can release the stress. The maid of honor should let the bride wedding go up in smoke, she should be assisting her with making it a wonder and beautiful experience.
2006-07-05 04:31:42 · answer #2 · answered by Precious1 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her that this wedding is very important to you too. You also want every detail to be perfect & want everyone invited to be in awe of the gowns & decorations.
Have an opinion on what color would look better. Say somthing like "Lilac" would look perfect against the brides maids complexion. Purple is the color of royalty. Hope this helps.
2006-07-05 04:31:23 · answer #3 · answered by Jaime L 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No matter what you say it is not goin to be good enough. Us women just want you to be involved with decision making when it comes to planning a wedding. It should look okay as long as the wedding is in the fall. She also should accent that with another color.....she has lots of options there......what is your opinion on the brown? Is it the brown color that's not flattering or the dress itself?
2006-07-05 04:32:58 · answer #4 · answered by AnnaBelle 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well personally I love brown and this is one of my colors for my wedding in 17 days, yet my fiance loves brown too, and this was something discussed before any purchases or decisions were made. It's your wedding too, yet if you don't get involved early on, your opinion is irrelevant. Apologize, and ask her if this brown is a definete, ask her to compromise, yet if it is not really a big deal to you what color the bridemaids wear, then just simply apologize for the way it was said, I wouldn't see it neccesary to apologize for having an opinion.
2006-07-05 04:38:48 · answer #5 · answered by Lovinlife 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You've got a tough life ahead of you. You should definitely have a say on all the wedding planning - my husband had awesome ideas for our wedding and he even made our wedding cake (he's a pastry chef). So I was grateful for his imput. Too bad your fiancee doesn't appreciate it. Are you sure she's the one?
2006-07-05 04:31:31 · answer #6 · answered by Rachel 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry - but unless you are wearing the dresses with your groomsmen - it's the bride's choice... If you are good friends with the maids, you may want to make a subtle suggestion, but that might get you in trouble.
Tread carefully!
2006-07-05 04:29:12 · answer #7 · answered by Skiingred 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why do you want to marry a woman that doesn't respect you. Will you ever be able to have an opinion with out her telling you you're trying to "control" her? You need to think about that before you marry her. You could be in for a miserable life. It sound like you are marrying a girl not a woman.
2006-07-05 04:39:25 · answer #8 · answered by whatdoiknow 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give it up, kiddo - you can't win in the wedding department. It's "damned-if-you-do-and-damned-if-you-don't. Just give your honest opinion when you asked and when it is about something that CAN'T BE CHANGED (Oh, I dunno - like the color of bridesmaids dresses), don't say something (like you did) that would result in regret. Choose your words judiciously and use some tact. And accept that no matter what you say, the closer the wedding gets, the more wrong you will be.
2006-07-05 04:29:48 · answer #9 · answered by two 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
HAHA so the wife to be wants input but only if you agree with her decisions. Sounds like its a lose lose battle to me. Good luck, and maybe next time you want to chose your wording differently. This color looks like pooh should always be avoided.
2006-07-05 04:46:00 · answer #10 · answered by bluechick 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋