Single parents please?

Question

Ok, I have a 4 year old daughter, when she was 2 I had her completely potty trained to where she wasn't even having accidents at night. Ok, When she had turned 3, her father took me to court for visitations. (if you want to know why, you'll have to contact me). Ok, not too long after she started staying night with him, she started having accidents at night for a week at a time when she comes back, but then, approximately after a week she would be fine untill she stayed with him again and it repeats and is still repeating.

What is your opinion/theories of this matter?

Answer 1

Hate to say it but really sounds like there's a problem there. Her staying at her fathers may be traumatic for her causing the bedwetting. I think you really need to talk to your daughter and ask some questions about how her father treats her and go over good touching and bad touching. You really need to eliminate the worst. Also take her to her pediatrician and get their opinion on the matter.Good luck!

Answer 2

My son now 9 was like that, he doesnt have potty accidents at night he now has bad dreams OR can not stay asleep.
Heres my take on what might be the issue, your daughter is very uncomfortable at her Dad's home. Maybe her room is not comfortable to her or the routine is very different than what she has with you. Something is troubling her. Cut back the visits with him and get this into a Family court counseling SHE is feeling troubled by something. You can not ignore this issue. When she is with you all is fine, with Dad it is not. Contact me if you would like to discuss further off line. BEST OF LUCK MOM!!!

Answer 3

Secondary enuresis, is what your daughter is suffering and it is usually caused by unresolved stress.

It is obviously very stressful for your daughter's security to be shaken and for her to have to go back and forth between her mommy and her daddy. Mommy's and Daddy's are supposed to live in the same house and make a FAMILY.

You need to talk to her father and ask if she is bed wetting when she is over there. Then I would recommend adjusting the visitation arrangement. Maybe he should only have day time visitations for a while.

The translation of bed-wetting is "soul weeping". Your daughter's soul is weeping, she is too young to communicate to you how painful this entire situation is for her. You and her father need to put her first and you need to remove her from the thing that's causing her pain.

If necessary contact your pediatrician or get a referral to a children's social worker.

This is why children should not grow up in single-parent households.

YOU did this to her; only YOU can fix it.

Good luck.

Answer 4

Do not ask her how it is going at her DAD's and tell her about good touching and bad touching in at the same time. Kids that age tend to take things and misinterpret them especially if their are emotions that you are having they pick up on them. I would ask her father how much she drinks before bed, this might give you an idea or another cause for the bedwetting. Depending on how long its been since she started spending the night at her fathers, could just be that she needs TIME to adjust to the mew arrangements.

Answer 5

Before jumping to the conclusion of child sexual abuse, first talk to child in a way that she knows you are there for her. Take time to have a play "tea-time" with real tea cups and real cocoa and cookies. Let her know you get scared at being in a new place sometimes, or going to bed in a strange house and if she sometimes feels that way. Tell her it is okay to talk to you and that you will always listen no matter what because you love her. Promise that every wednesday from now on is "julia's time" (what ever her name is). This not only lets her know that you are there for her, but it reassures her she can talk about things including fears. For my son, it was "man-time" and he had his mug with his name on it and we had living room picnic and "coffee". The divorce was a bit hard on him with a father who constantly used him to get at me. Happy to say he is well adjusted now, 4 four year after the fact. Good luck.

Answer 6

OK this could be a couple of things 1st children who wet them self indicates thy Ben molested 2ND she is getting mixed messages from Ur house and her dads 3rd u all are talking shut about each other she 4 not 7 she has a hard time processing life id take her to the Dr's and express Ur concerns

Answer 7

You need to see how you child acts around him if there is a sense of fear in her then you have a bigger problem then you think. Other than that it's just a adjustment to the new changes in her life and living arrangements she's young and not being in her familiar atmosphere could be making her nervous but don't forget to look at her behavior around him never over or under look any possibility, remember you left him for a good reason.....

Answer 8

Divorce is very traumatizing on a child and I understand the child being separated from the mother is really bad - I know I am going through the same thing. Cops think X should only have supervised visitation with the child but can't get the courts to agree. Regression is a good clue - please get your child to a child psychologist. They are hard to find for this age but if you keep at it you will find one. I have one for my boy.

Answer 9

It's called stress --- she needs to see her pediatrician, perhaps some counseling too - I never did think it was a good idea just to thrust a young child into visitations when they'd never been around the other parent ---this should of happened gradually over time---

Answer 10

This is your baby. Take her to a doctor and get good adivice on how to help her. If you don't have the money, call the health department and ask them what can be done so that you can get your child help.