2006-07-05 04:09:47 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
Two words: Divine Intervention. If he had a problem with flatulence (particularly within the realms of his church/worship) why would he give human beings the ability and sometimes even the will to do it?
2006-07-05 04:22:26 · answer #1 · answered by pilotmanitalia 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
1
2016-11-04 20:03:25 · answer #2 · answered by Benito 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The answer is unequivocally, no. Assuming that we are discussing the deity described in the Judeo-christian texts, an omniscient and omnipotent creator cannot, by definition, have a problem related to anything directly corresponding to himself (though technically genderless, for the sake of ease of discussion, we will call God a "he").
To begin with, God only has a colon if he desires it. By his definition of being omnipotent, we know that he may take any form that he desires, including that which does not have a colon (a rock, say for instance) and transform back to any form from there. Therefore, only by his own choice could he be afflicted with flatulence. This brings up the second contention being God's will.
A problem is based on something that is outside of your reasonable range of control or with an allusive answer. Neither of which can possibly be the case for an omniscient, omnipotent being, thus negating the possibility of a "problem" at all.
Finally, flatulence is based on an abnormal amount of bacterial growth due to overeating or indigestible foods, leading to the production of methane and subsequent expulsion. Since we know God does not require food (he did not starve before making the world, after all) there would be no sustenance (sugar source) for bacteria to feed and create methane from.
2006-07-05 04:43:44 · answer #3 · answered by f1le_f0und 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a vague question, with many variables. To begin with, when you ask if God has a problem with flatulence, do you mean His, or ours? If you mean ours, then, do you mean before, during, or after worship? Should one excuse oneself from the private prayer closet when they feel an eruption about to happen? Does God have a problem with the smell that rises from us?
On the other hand, if you are asking whether or not God has a problem with gas Himself, again, there are many variables. Is God sitting on His throne when the attack comes, or is He in His bed with His head under the covers? Consider, God and all His angels sitting at the banquet table in heaven, when the embarrassing moment comes. Should God excuse Himself and walk away for a moment? Should one of the angels politely take the blame?
Does jim_darwin have a problem with flatulence?
2006-07-05 04:37:54 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Funny you should ask that, Jim. A few years back, I was in London on one of those bus tours. We passed the National Museum and they had a sign advertising the exhibit that was currently there. I thought it read "The Flatulence of Jesus." My first reaction was confusion as to how painters would show such a thing in their work and why they would concentrate so many paintings on such a thing, but I figured artists are different. I then realize that the sign really read "The Flagellation of Christ." It was pretty funny!
Now to your question, which I know you really have no desire for a thoughtful answer but I will answer it anyway: Yes, I would supposed Jesus did, though I don't think it was a problem.
2006-07-05 04:22:37 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Probably not.. picture this....
On the eighth day, God said
"let there be sausage, and as an accompaniment, let there be some cabbage"
"and let there be plenty, I havent had time to eat all week!"
On the ninth..
"gee these sausages and cabbage really are making me feel bloated..."
"wHHHOOOOOOOSSSSHHHHH"
The ramifications would be tremendous!!!
Seriously though: Women and God do not fart.
2006-07-05 04:18:35 · answer #6 · answered by Jeremy D 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Farting is humor from God therefor not laughing at it would be a sacriledge.
therefor god exists
2006-07-05 05:16:57 · answer #7 · answered by tenaciousd 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Where do you think hurricanes start. It was all-you-can-eat burrito night in heaven when Katrina got started.
2006-07-05 04:15:10 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Probably only if it's done in a disrespectful manner toward Him, or his Church
2006-07-05 04:13:17 · answer #9 · answered by Swordsman 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i imagine your butt is possessed by using the devil! you want to have it repent and get baptized. it really is the in ordinary words answer. perchance, there's a Pentecostal Church close by that ought to wish on your butt!!
2016-11-01 05:58:00 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋