What can I do to help my boyfriend who has problems with physical contact?

Question

I know he loves me. This has been his problem in previous relationships. He says he simply can't " touch", or " caress".. he knows it is a problem, but he does not know what to do about it. Neither do I.
Anyone with similar case or experiences?

Answer 1

whatever the reason is he needs to find out what it is...sounds like that there may be a deeper issue here. have you suggested counseling?

a lot of times when we review our past we will learn of experiences that may have traumatized us. from that realize how that trauma affects the way that we relate and deal today.

Answer 2

Among other things, I teach successful professionally, and I've learned that the action principles of success are: 1) get started, 2) become and remain teachable, 3) become and remain coach-able, 4) learn to master systems and process thinking, 5) work smart, 6) work hard, 7) don't quit. The key to action (ie. using these principles) is to see challenges as opportunities, rather than as problems. What a wonderful opportunity you face! You have the chance to teach a man who loves you, and whom you love, too, I assume, how to "touch" and "caress" in all the ways that give you the greatest pleasure. But first, you must honestly answer the following questions:
1. Does he truly want to get started, or is this "deficiency" a ploy by which he withholds intimacy?
2. Is he teachable? That is, is he willing to listen to you and respond when you explain why certain touches and caresses work and others don't?
3. Is he coach-able? In other words, is he willing to "run the play," even when he doesn't want to, or understand it, but because he trusts his "coach," in this case, you?
If those answers are not unequivocally "yes," then I suggest that his so-called deficiency is a control ploy by which he enjoys intimacy when you give it, but controls the relationship by withholding intimacy, and ultimately it provides an "open door" for him to exit the relationship without consequences.
Have a nice day.

Answer 3

i'd might want to believe the previous answer, if he's open to it, i'd propose a therapist. yet when not....is there someone who's close to to him....an older guy that he would communicate with? He desires help and that help has to come back from outside the courting.

Answer 4

Wow, he may need to see a doctor for that. If he wants to be able to touch someone someday. If he is willing to go then try it. Someone that can talk him through his problem. For me I need to be touched , people just need that interaction. Good luck

Answer 5

mabey you could help find a syciatrist of mabey he has had an abuse relationship before

Answer 6

grab his hands and place them where you want them