need help, my son is NOT afraid of strangers!!?

Question

my son will be 4 soon. he talks to strangers,runs right up to them!!!people try giving him toys and candy and he doesn't even blink before reaching out to take something. I've talked to him about NOT talking to strangers or taking things from people he doesn't know. he just doesn't understand and I don't want him to be terrified of people, just cautious.. why do people lately think it's alright to give a kid anything without asking the parent first. should I tell these people, no thanks- we don't talk to strangers or take things from strangers?? will that help him understand???

Answer 1

I know exactly what you are going through. My 5 year old son was the same way...always saying hello to everyone he would see, absolutely no fear. He seems to have grown out of it lately though, so there's some light at the end of the tunnel.

I did have a talk with him about strangers and how it isn't good to take anything from strangers unless you ask mom or dad first. I don't discourage him from saying hello or talking to strangers if I'm around, because I want him to be a courteous and friendly person. Plus, new friends were once strangers, right?

I would just tell him not to take anything from people he doesn't know unless mom or dad says it's okay first. Unless he isn't listening, I would be tempted to let him make that decision first, telling people that he can't take it unless mom says it's okay. If he doesn't follow that instruction, then I would step in for sure.

Answer 2

I think you should just keep on instilling it in him and he will eventually take heed. It may seem like you're getting no where at first but he will get it. Look at how many times our parents had to tell us things so we get the point. I commend you for teaching your child as early as possible because there are some sick people out here. Also, to those that offer your child things, kindly tell them no thank you and tell him the reason why mommy said no thank you to that person. It is because that you didn't know that person and that person is a stranger. Strangers are people I don't accept things from and you should not either just like mommy. Don't take it personal. Some people really have a soft spot for children and mean no harm just decline when they offer your child something. Mommy I know raising a child can be scarey because all of the horror stories you have heard but always pray for your child to be protected and it is good teaching him at this age because you will most likely be there to supervise. Teach your child they can talk to a stranger but not to accept or go anywhere with a stranger so he won't become paranoid or anti social. Also, what Pamela said about the videos on child safety is an excellent way to show your child the dangers on Strangers. That was excellent advice.

Answer 3

Actually, it's good he is not afraid of strangers. Telling children not to talk to strangers is not wise. Children MUST learn when someone is "off", and they cannot learn to spot odd behavior if they are kept sheltered. This has been proven and the experts are now saying to teach your children to use their intuition. By not acknowledging another person, by walking away from strangers, you are teaching your child to tune out his surroundings. This will actually make him MORE vulnerable. You'd be amazed at how intuitive children can be if you let them.
As for taking gifts from strangers, teach the child to say, "No thank you." and that's it. Most important thing you can teach your child is that a grown-up (stranger) should NEVER ask a child to help, whether it is carrying groceries, looking for a lost dog, helping to get a bike in the car, stuff like that. That is behaviour that is "off" and the child should respond by saying, "I'll get a grown up to help you find your dog." then run away as fast as possible, yelling for help.
Your son is only 4, so you should always keep an eye on him, but do let him be friendly and social. He will be much wiser for it.

Answer 4

Isn't it wonderful that he is so precocious. I have 2 sons who are the same. They are now 17 and 21 and have no fear. I am so glad they are wonderfully social. My youngest is more guarded because of a bad experience, but he was with his father and didn't have the supervision he needed. He is 15 and as I said very guarded, so people behave toward him differently. When they were little, I learned it is better to teach them to wait for mom because there are some bad people out there who pretend to be nice. They loved to talk to strangers and the strangers are kind, but all knew to wait until I was around for supervision. Don't blow your son's image of you by making you look like a bad guy telling people "Dont talk to my son" You will not look good in his eyes.

Answer 5

You need to take him to the police station and let an officer tell him the dangers of talking to strangers. There's a few video tapes at the library that are kid friendly that help to convey the message about going with strangers.

Answer 6

He doesn't need to be afraid of people at that age. You're overly paranoid (first child I would like to wager.) He will naturally develop his stranger danger all by himself without mom telling him that everyone is the "boogy man." Four year olds love everyone and that's a good thing. I think you're being overly generalizing. Is "everyone" giving him things? Are they bad things? Are you nearby?

The other day I waved at a small child on an airplane and the mother looked horrified. Has it come to that?

I would relax a little and let nature take its course. In first grade get him in Cub Scouts and life will take over.

Answer 7

I had the same problem. I learned by being an example. When strangers talk to us, as adults we answer them back and act friendly. I have learned that in the best interest and safety of my child, I completely ignore any stranger speaking to me. This teaches them not to speak to strangers. Also, I have taught them that EVERYONE is a stranger. Good luck to you.

Answer 8

it really is completely favourite!! children do not have instinct or instinct yet, they merely merely bypass by using the phobia of the unknown. they don't seem to be all like that although, some youngsters walk excellent as a lot as strangers and some are petrified of the strangers with beards or weird and wonderful facial expressions, loud voices and so on....then there are some that do not even opt to be round or close to human beings they have not seen frequently adequate. My first daughter changed into very timid and did not even opt to be round her grandparents, I merely requested anybody to furnish her 0.5-hour to an hour of being there beforehand they talked to her so she ought to sense secure and warmth as a lot as them. It labored, too. After a jiffy she may commence chatting with them in order that long as they did not get too excited and attempt to the contact her because then she clammed excellent lower back up. do not difficulty although, quickly adequate he will be 4 years previous and he will communicate over with absolutely everyone who will pay interest!

Answer 9

This may sound horrible, and i'm sure i'll get plenty of bad ridicule. BUT:

you should stage a fake kidnapping, let him realize that if he talks to strangers, somthing bad can potentially happen and he wont have mom around afterwards. When he realizes this, he def wont run to a stragner again... make sure you KNOW the person and that your child hasnt ever seen him before.Also, make sure you keep him far away from you long enough to make him thnk that he won't see you again

Answer 10

Let me tell you what I did with my three daughters. I took them to a police station and had a police officer tell them why it's bad to talk to strangers. I told them that they shouldn't talk to anyone unless their Dad or I said that it was okay. I also said that the only strangers you should talk to are police officers in uniform, because they are there to help you.