My younger sister always calls me when something goes wrong and I try to help her best I can, but when I call to ask for something she tells some lame excuse as to why she can't. She has my nephew and I don't want to see him suffer, so should I still help her?
2006-07-05 02:51:31 · 11 answers · asked by vivs043 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Hello.
I have been where you are at with my family and some very clost friends. Here is how I have resolved this conflict. Maybe it will help you.
First, you need to talk to her about your feelings and perceptions. You have to let her know how you feel, without attacking her personally. You might say something like, "when I call you needing help, and you don't help me, I feel...(you fill in how you feel). Are my perceptions correct sis? Or is it just me?" Let her answer. Watch her eyes and body language very closely as you listen to her answer. See what she tells you, but also, see what other message she is trying to convey to you by her body language.
If she listens and respond positively then you have won your sister and have resolved your concern or issue with her which is the best thing to be sure. If she blows you off, laughs at you, calls you names or whatever, then she is not going to take you or your concerns seriously. If that is the case do not threaten her or get nasty with her. Next time she calls-stop-take a deep breath-and tell her that you have other things you need to do at that time and that you are sorry that you can not help her. That's it. Tell her you "love her," and tell her to keep in touch. Keep doing this and eventually she will get your message. It is a 2 way street-if she is not going to help you then you are not going to drop everything and help her everytime she calls.
As far as your nephew--you keep in touch with him directly and help him directly.
I hope this helps!
Harold
2006-07-05 03:16:13 · answer #1 · answered by Harold C 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You referenced that your nephew may suffer and it would influence my opinion on your question if I knew whether by helping your sister in the present case, it meant that the nephew was the object of the help. If he is, then you might reason that you're giving your nephew help and guidance that is of greater value than what your sister gives, hence you're giving him needed assistance. I would say do it. But if your nephew is suffering because he is also trying to help her and is frustrated, then you're more at liberty to tell sis your feelings and how things are a bit hard to accept when they're one-way like this.
2006-07-05 02:59:50 · answer #2 · answered by nothing 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
merely be undemanding which includes her. tell her that you've had plenty on your options at present and performance been less than alot of stress and it merely slipped your options. advise that as a fashion of holding sorry you want her to %. out some thing for her birthday inspite of the price. it will be thoroughly her selection and also you'll guard it. undergo in options on the acceptable of the day if she's damage they're her thoughts. You did not intenionally damage her so that you'll blame your self. the very incontrovertible actuality that you renowned how she's feeling would make up for it in extra techniques than you may want to probably imagine. Wishing you the finest of success :)
2016-11-05 22:11:09 · answer #3 · answered by blinebry 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your sister is always crying to you for help but if you need her, she shuts you down? AND she uses your nephew to guilt you into helping her. Hmmmm...if she was adult enough to have a kid, she's adult enough to stand on her own two feet. You are becoming an enabler to her codependent lifestyle and if you continue this, not only will you be 'helping' (enabling) her for the rest of her life, BUT you'll also be teaching your beloved nephew to become JUST LIKE HER!!!
2006-07-05 02:57:51 · answer #4 · answered by Munya Says: DUH! 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yeah, for the sake of your nephew. But if its something for her, do not, or talk to her about how you feel... Hopefully things work out for you ^_^
2006-07-05 02:55:48 · answer #5 · answered by someone 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe not her but at least your nephew who is innocent in all of it.
2006-07-05 02:55:47 · answer #6 · answered by proud of it 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
of course... because she is your sister... and you are more blessed by helping her... in spite of sometimes... she cant return the favor... it would make you a better person in the eyes of God and in your community
2006-07-05 02:59:41 · answer #7 · answered by boyang 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to her and tell her how you feel
2006-07-05 03:07:20 · answer #8 · answered by stillshyneing 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes because it makes you the better person
2006-07-05 02:54:44 · answer #9 · answered by Kristine D 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should do as your heart leads
2006-07-05 04:06:23 · answer #10 · answered by Chipxinh123 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋