My paranoia is getting out of control and I'm constantly trying to figure out what people really think...help!

Question

I've liked someone for a while and I think they like me but my paranoia is really getting me down over the whole thing! He seems really nice to me when we talk but then I start thinking he's just playing around and isn't serious, and then another million paranoid thoughts spring out of that too....I'm trying to be optimistic but I'm going back into an old vicious circle. I also get really paranoid that I'm annoying people (especially him!). I need to get this sorted out.

Answer 1

try not to think this way. you know that you are a beatiful person and it is more likely that this guy really likes you for you. the more you keep dwelling on it, the more harder it gets on you to spend more time with him cos at the back of your mind you'd always be thinking of what he really thinks about you. questioning whether he likes you or not creates problems for you because people would really start to think you're becoming paranoid. you can think optimistically, you can also try thinking positively and tell yourself that he is someone who likes you and is interested in you. the more you put that into your head, the more you'd get rid of the idea that he's just playing around with you and isnt serious. guys go for girls with confidence in themselves, so if they see a girl lacking confidence in themselves, they would start to find that as a turn off which does get annoying to them after a while. just try to be more yourself when your around him. i think that may be the reason why he really likes you and likes to talk to you. another thing you can do is not to think about it when your with him, or just try not to think about it at all. i dont let it bother me even though i ask myself those questions. i keep it to myself, and the more i spend time with them, the more confidence i get in myself and the more i enjoy myself rather than not.

Answer 2

You gotta learn to relax !

Some people can relax - others can't. It's not always that easy, especially if you really like him. Perhaps a drink might help you relax ? I'm not suggesting you get smashed mind you ! Just one to help you chill a bit.

And try to remember that we're all human, and at different times everyone gets wound up over different things... he could even be as 'paranoid' about talking with you as you are with him !

Maybe you could try actually doing something together... what I mean by that is not just having a drink or a meal, or seeing a movie. Actually doing something that requires you to concentrate a little on the activity. If it's a little out of left field for both of you that's ideal. It means you're both at about the same level of comfort. (Rather than for example: him taking you to do his hobby, which you have never done before, and you end up feeling a dork!)

I dunno, but that's what I found worked for me when I was in your situation... we went kite flying ! Yep, go fly a kite! It was an absolute blast. And we were so focused on getting the thing up in the air we forgot to be nervous / paranoid / defensive whatever...

And from then on we were past that barrier and free to move on...

Answer 3

with my paranoia ive tried counseling to prescription medicines
ive tried talkin to friends ive tried sitting still for hours stuck thinkin and goin to sleep after for being physically tired of stress
one day i got on yahoo started to answer some questions and i felt better .... when u focus on others problems u mite think u are being wrong but as long as u know thats not the reason why becomes a reminder .... there are people out there thatll focus on others problems to use it against them or just use them
maybe i went through something that told me i should watch so i dont repeat what ive done but after thinkin about it so much it turned into a paranoia...... i realized only yourself can make you happy same for only yourself can bring u down only if u let them
no matter how much u prepare urself u r given same time as everyone else to solve or answer that question
u shouldnt question if u have someone to feel good around wit
sometimes u get stuck in a mode where u think what other people will make u feel rather what yourself is doin
think that happens when u stop all the way and start lookin around
people dont think before you make ur move worryin about how to start will delay THINK LIKE U R WATCHING URSELF STANDING NEXT TO OTHERS....................... they are worrying about how they'll look in ur eyes and watchin u standing still

Answer 4

Sounds like a low self esteem issue too. You are thinking too much. For real. Why worry about what everyone is thinking? It's not worth it. If you keep acting this way around this guy - or give him an indication you are so paranoid, he is going to think you are too possessive and dump you. Why don't you go get some counseling and see if that helps you with this issue.

Answer 5

This obsession isn't good for you. Find a hobby: photography, crafting, needlework, running, the list is endless. Concentrate on the hobby and being the best you can be at it. Take care of yourself. Think up 2 things to do every day that are just for you alone (not taking a walk by "his" house). If he is going to like you the way you like him, he will. Doing the things above so that you are happy with your life is the best way to get noticed and liked by a lot of people. You have to be happy and content on your own before someone else will think you're the one for them.

Answer 6

Yeah, sometimes being paranoid will annoy people. Asking them if you are annoying them constantly is like a self-fulfilling prophecy. Don't worry about other people so much. Most of the people you probably worry about have their own problems and fears, and are too busy with them to really worry, or even notice yours. Just relax. If you are interested in somebody, let them know it. If they don't return your feelings, then move on. It will be OK. Just don't be so hard on yourself, you are just as deserving of attention and love as anyone else.

Answer 7

I lived my whole teen years like that too. Trust me, you are missing out on so much fun by worrying about this. Talk to a counselor, if your parent will not take you to a psychologist. This is a problem that can haunt the rest of your life if you don't get it under control. Life is actually more fun than the way you are living it.

Answer 8

See a psychiatrist for an evaluation. You may be a paranoid schizophrenic or have a paranoid personality disorder. There's nothing negative about seeing a psychiatrist, if you need medication or a diagnosis why suffer when help is available.

Answer 9

Don't be afraid, ask the guy the question. How does he feel about you? Does he like as a friend, or is the feeling more? Even if he only likes you as a friend, you may be hurt but you will feel better and you will know exactly where you stand with him. Stop sabotaging yourself and possibly your soul-mate. Ask GOD to take that fear away from you. Better yet, when you are talking with your friend, envision yourself talking to GOD, HE is the easiest person I know to talk to.

Answer 10

Incredible!! I thought I was the only person with that affliction. Send me an e-mail sometime, perhaps we could discuss the problem. Maybe even come up with a way to ease the problem as well.