we r a young couple,deeply in love,and my problem is that i dont no how to tell my parents,as i am a girl,its not in our family to have love marriages,but i cant live without this guy now.and his family have found out,and are happy wit it.help.
2006-07-05 01:21:45 · 24 answers · asked by a girl 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
well,i am very young,just 20
2006-07-05 01:30:21 · update #1
if the boy's parents are happy with it and you are ready to be married, then get his parents come ask for your rishta from your parents. one of my friends did that - till today the girl's side don't know that it was a love marriage, and they are happily married 3 years on from then. tell your boyfriend to arrange this.
you will have a much stronger case to present since your parents will know that it's not for fun or a mistake - that it's official, and they'll be much more willing to consider it. but if they get upset at first, don't lose hope - they will come around. just make sure you give them some time to get used to the idea, ok?
however, please do make sure that you are at least 22-23 before you go that far??? if you're still in college or something and don't wanna get married yet, you really do NOT need to tell them yet.
good luck!
2006-07-05 01:27:48 · answer #1 · answered by conspicuous 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stop selling out for fear of loosing approval, what are you going to do with stinking approval anyway when you get it? and give up running your life by other peopels demands otherwise you disempower yourself and end up in misery and hold resentment towards those that prevented you having what you wanted. Attraction is not a choice! or are you going to be arrogant and say that you know better than providence? Love is a natural condition and without it the world wouldnt continue so re-evaluate,why be ashamed of nature? It sounds like a time came to be honest and you were honest and got into trouble for being honest, so since then you have witheld your honesty and become deceptive in order to have what you wanted. With authenticiy the bottom live is always "I LOVE YOU" and there is no parent that doesnt love their child unconditionally, think about it , if you had a child would there be anything that child could do that you wouldnt still love them? Never be afraid to ask, they may say yes ;) nothing goes away until the absolute truth is told about it. so stop looking at love as a crime when it's a blessing. Just because they may be stuck in cultural myth and religious dogma, doesnt mean to say you also have to be stuck in it.It's a natural cycle of progression and age doesnt matter because "love" isn't prejudiced only shallow, unevolved, judgmental humans are.
2006-07-05 08:32:55 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are trapped between society and religion and following your own heart. I would just come out and tell them. Maybe invite them out to dinner with you and your man. Explain that you understand that your society is built on marriages not of love and that, for your parents, it worked very well. Graciously tell them that you have fallen in love and while you understand it goes against tradition that you do not want to live without this man. Most parents want their children to be happy.
2006-07-12 12:23:08 · answer #3 · answered by texasgirl5454312 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK, since you are young, this will have to be handled delicately, if your parents are of an open mind this will help, you will need to sit down with the both of them and BE HONEST, even if they get upset, the love is still there, tell them that you love him, and want their blessing to continue to see him, I would tell them without your boyfriends presence first, then offer to let them meet him and talk to him themselves, this should give them some peace of mind as to his intentions and he is acting honorably by not concealing himself and facing them. It will be difficult, but the ends may justify the means, and you and your intended will have a clear conscience, free of the burden. GOOD LUCK!!!
2006-07-05 08:37:23 · answer #4 · answered by trekkie1972566 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should tell your parents. If you are truly in love with him, you need to tell your parents. Nothings worse than having an arranged marriage to someone who you have no feelings towards while your true love is still out there.
Tell you parents, seeing that his parents know and are happy, it would be unfair to him and to yourself to live a lie for the rest of your life. Two of my friends dated, the guy was Muslim and the girl was Christian, her parents knew about him, but his parents never knew about her as it was against his religion, and it wrecked their relationship, they are no longer together.
It will be easier to deal with when its out in the open. You never know, your parents might be happy for you too.
I wish you the best of luck.
2006-07-05 08:32:07 · answer #5 · answered by Angelus 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well i think u should tel ur parents, cuz if u dont theres gointo tricky situations after, make ur mum and dad understand from wer ur coming from that u will b happy wid him, persuade them cuz u only live once, marry once in a lifetime, u dont know theres always thing will stop u ur mind will play games wid u, jus follow ur heart if u love him so much u will tell ur parents and in life evry person deserves to be happy
2006-07-05 11:42:55 · answer #6 · answered by naz10_uk 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i can see how it can be hard...b/c i am to a young girl in vary deep love w/ a guy 3 years older than me...realy there is no easy way to tell themthe probley dont think that it wont work out when u both now that it will ...so really just tell them, and if there are yur true parents then they will believe you..........Good Luck!!!
2006-07-05 08:29:31 · answer #7 · answered by rkk_24 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi
Love aside, imagine for a second how your father might think. Is there a good business or social benefit to be gained? Build the boy up, he is planning to go to business school, become a dentist or whatever, isn't he.
We all hope it goes well for you
2006-07-05 08:29:49 · answer #8 · answered by XT rider 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You didn't tell us how old you are? Are you sure it is love or perhaps just infatuation? It is easy to confuse them both.
What would make sense and make you feel better is to level with your parents. I am sure they will have many question they will need answered. Be honest and upfront.
2006-07-05 08:26:30 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
How long have you been together ? Does he have a decent job? Do you think you might get married soon? If he married you could he support you? Could you get your own apt? Would it be safe for you?
it's good that you have his family's support . Maybe they will help you talk to your family. My best to you.
2006-07-16 04:09:32 · answer #10 · answered by reme_1 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋