How do I get my 15 yr old son to see he's going down the wrong path in life?

Question

My son's been getting worse over the last year.I've tried talking,he won't talk to anyone.He doesn't have respect for anyone.I can't even ground him...he just walks right out the door.I'm afraid he's going to end up in jail or dead one day.

Answer 1

Talk to your son. He may or may not listen. I did the same thing to my mother I was going down a wrong path and my mother tried to tell me about what I was doing wrong. There were times that I listened to her and there were other times I was hearing her but not listening. It all depends on how much your son loves you and you love your son.

Answer 2

A normal, average 15 year old is
1) a raging sea of hormones
2) desperately trying to figure out who and what he is
3) not respectful of anyone because he is trying to find and set his own limits
4) a slave to peer pressure [yes this conflicts with (3), but refer back to (1)]

Nonetheless, he is your son and you love him. You know you did your best to show him the right way to live through your own example over the years. No matter how his current actions and attitudes may hurt or offend you, you show him how much you love him. Basically, all you can do now is hope that your earlier lessons have formed a bedrock of behavior that will see him through these turbulent years, EXCEPT has he had a physical exam lately? Was one of the tests for drugs? Is he clinically depressed? If there is nothing seriously wrong with him physically or mentally, then he's just growing up and in 4 or 5 years may turn into the wonderful human being that you know is inside him just waiting to find his way out.

Answer 3

You are a loving parent and you are clearly very distressed.

Life experience tells you he is going to make mistakes and I an guessing that he does not want know. Teenage boys know everything!

May I offer some thoughts?

Communication, leave a channel open. One day, when he is human again, it will be vital. If there is any interest or activity that you share with him do so. Try to get and read "The Man who Loved Boxes"..

Some things that he does will be dangerous (as in life or other threat), other less threatening. Can you keep a lid on the really dangerous and silly things? Others may have to slide in the attempt to restore normality.

Finally, remember that boys grow up (yes they really do) and become good and responsible men.. keep hoping.

Above all, if you believe in God, pray.

Peter

Answer 4

I first wanna say I am sooo sorry...I was a "hell-raiser "as a teen and I am soo sorry! My parents tried almost everything others have suggested. I went to the Youth Detention Programs and nothing got my attention for long term. I was set in my ways and that's that. I don't wanna discourage you. Just keep talkin and try try try! Don't give up on him even though I am sure that is how you feel sometimes. Try to go on trips together to the mountains or beach and spend one on one time together. That is when I begin to open up to my parents. We started taking day trips on a Saturdays, then went to weekend trips. Mind you I still had my moments. I look back now and was just finding my limits and trying to grow up too fast. I regret it!!!! I know he will too. I am 27 now and have a family of my own and of course the karma is I have a son too. I am not looking forward to his teen yrs. I hope I have helped and not discouraged! Just remember try talking even if he isn't "listening", he'll hear the words and maybe not be listening then but will later!!! Just be there for when he does fall and be there without the "I told you so". Good Luck and our family prayers are with your family!

Answer 5

Yes, 15 is probably one of the worst years.

Teens at that age are highly alienated from their families, and even from many of their Friends of earlier years. They are sure that no one understands them, and that all their problems are unique and insurmountable. Parental over-reaction can make things worse.

Try setting some clear but reasonable guidelines. Revoke privileges ( such as providing spending money or transportation) if he refuses to comply. You need to set limits and, at the same time, respect the fact that he is growing up -- and likely he thinks he is much more mature than he actually is!

If your son was a good kid previously, the chances are he still is..just that he explodes around his family. I have taught many kids who were in trouble with the law, and many more who had huge family problems, but most of them still know right and wrong, if they learned it when they were small.

I wish you luck; take heart though, 15 eventually passes, and they're usually almost human by the time they're 17.

Answer 6

Give him just what he needs. A roof over his head and food in his belly. No money, no car. As a matter of fact lock up your purse and your car keys so that he can't steal either. If he wants either he needs to get a job and earn it. He is old enough and capable of doing it, he just may not want to. Have you considered Boot Camp. I know he's too young for the army but they have other alternatives for kids his age. Chances are he will come back respectful and sorry for treating you that way.

I agree with another answerer though, it's too late for YOU to try to start disciplining him, it should have started at his first temper tantrum and continued. But now you have to rely on other sources. And unless you want this kid selling drugs, on drugs, still living at home with you when he is 30 or any of the other bad things you can think of, figure something out to straighten this kid out.

Answer 7

1) Show or tell him who is in charge, he walks out the door and ignores you, call someone who can take charge and put him in his place, his father an uncle someone he respects, if that does not work, call the police I am sure they would be happier dealing with this now instead of later with him dead or od'ed.
2) Remember they don't think with all realistically at this age they are still developing. Be patient with him.
3) Go on a vacation or a trip with him and talk to him and tell him what you are trying to show him is in his best interests and you know BC you have been down that road and seen where it leads.
4) Contact a pastor or some type of minister to deal with him.

Answer 8

Sorry for what you are going through, I have been there.
And there is no easy answer, but what worked for my 2
teenage boys is:

I called my local Sheriff dept. and explained to them what was
going on, my boys behavior. They had me bring them out
we did a short tour throught and they met some inmates.

My oldest son got it right away, but my youngest had to go
back for a second visit, and finally it's sinking in.
You will be suprised at they help you local officials will offer to
you and your children. They are there to help and if possible prevent seeing your child end up in jail.

Remember they are young and rebelious also, just let you son
know that your there if he needs you. But remind him you are his
mom and you are doing your job, and want only the best for him.

Good luck, I hope things get better for all of you

Answer 9

Unfortionally thats a taugh age, and what ever you tell him not to do will be the thing that grabs his attention. I recommend for you to take him to a prison and have them show him where he could end up. I hear many prisons have some special programs. There's also boot camps for trouble teens. What ever you decide to do I wish you luck.
Make a point to let your son know that you love him and that you want the best for him.

Answer 10

Where's he getting money from? A job? If you're giving it to him, cut it off. This has apparently gone beyond "grounding" him. Hit him in the pocketbook... that'll get his attention real quick.

Then you can tell him what is going to take place in his life... not open for 'discussion'... that time has passed. He's 15 and time is wasting away so he's got to be put on the fast track to set things right. It's time for you to be the parent.