How to handle a narcissistic type of person?

Question

I have two women colleagues at work one sitting in the same room with me and the other thank God not.

The first one is full of herself, knows everything, judges people, everyone is incompetent, is crude, loud, unbearable in a word. However, when she has to stand up for herself she is nowhere to be found.

The second one is angry but those outbursts are never to be predicted and she is more dangerous than the first one. This one is my boss.


Help

Answer 1

Narcissism refers to the kove of oneself. Narcissistic personality disorder is a type of personality disorder in which the person will be highly concerned about oneself. They will be mostly self centered.
Please go through some of the dimensions related to Narcissism given below.

Etiology

Like most personality disorders, there are many factors that may contribute to the development of symptoms. Because the symptoms are long lasting, the idea that symptoms begin to emerge in childhood or at least adolescence is well accepted. The negative consequences of such symptoms, however, may not show themselves until adulthood.


Symptoms

The symptoms of narcissistic personality disorder revolve around a pattern of grandiosity, need for admiration, and sense of entitlement. Often individuals feel overly important and will exaggerate achievements and will accept, and often demand, praise and admiration despite worthy achievements. They may be overwhelmed with fantasies involving unlimited success, power, love, or beauty and feel that they can only be understood by others who are, like them, superior in some aspect of life.

There is a sense of entitlement, of being more deserving than others based solely on their superiority. These symptoms, however, are a result of an underlying sense of inferiority and are often seen as overcompensation. Because of this, they are often envious and even angry of others who have more, receive more respect or attention, or otherwise steal away the spotlight.

Treatment

Treatment for this disorder is very rarely sought. There is a limited amount of insight into the symptoms, and the negative consequences are often blamed on society. In this sense, treatment options are limited. Some research has found long term insight oriented therapy to be effective, but getting the individual to commit to this treatment is a major obstacle.


Prognosis

Prognosis is limited and based mainly on the individual's ability to recognize their underlying inferiority and decreased sense of self worth. With insight and long term therapy, the symptoms can be reduced in both number and intensity.

SUGGESTIONS:
Never directly attack the views of a person having this disorder.
Never under estimate their views and values.
Make them understand their fault without hurting their ego.

Answer 2

Ouch.

Unfortunately, people take a long time to change... people like this especially, because they are already far too protective of the self-ego and are aggressive/militant towards any potential threat (i.e., a dissenting opinion).

Ultimately, it's a deep-seated sign of insecurity. She can't handle the anxiety related to possibly being wrong, or not being in charge, or not knowing something. Any mistake is a wound against her ego and to be avoided at all cost.

The only way to really deal with such people is simply to be aware of who and what they are, that they're acting out of fear, and to treat them normally and not letting oneself be threatened by what they do.

Your coworker has no real power over you, she's just annoying. Such people usually drive others away; I'm sure you have a lot of comraderie with fellow employees who would agree with your assessment, so you do have some support there to depend on.

Don't attack her, even if she attacks first. If you must criticize something she's done and she responds poorly, don't get into an argument about it. Keep your cool. Remain mature. Treat her like you would treat any other person -- not being mean, but no kid gloves, just be a straight-shooter and seem fearless. She needs to realize that (1) you are what you appear to be, so she doesn't have to be paranoid, and (2) you are not actually threatening nor view life in a fearful way.

Creating an environment where you do not respond to people as threatening as she does is the only way to eventually get her to loosen up (if she ever will).

Your boss is a different matter because she DOES have power over you. She sounds unpredictable and possibly capricious. Again, you have to decide how much of a threat she really is. While she has power over you, is her anger merely bluster meant to intimidate, or is there real threat of being fired?

Often it is just the former, and you should again remain mature -- doing your job competently, respecting her authority, bringing up conflicts or problems if you can justify it in the name of the project/work you are doing. Don't let her push your buttons or intimidate you, but do not push for fights either.

If it IS the latter, then you either need to accept her behavior or else look for new employment. (Probably keep the job long enough to find a new one.) Hopefully your new boss will be more mature and sympathetic.

Again, these behaviors are firmly rooted and are hard to remove simply because people don't realize there are other ways to live. All you can adjust is your own reaction to them, and hope it eventually rubs off on them.

Answer 3

Narcissistic people will never change, so the best thing to do is draw lines and stay behind them. The are so egocentric that they see the world only from their point of view, which of course they feel is always right. They are toxic in families and most other relationships, unless they mate with a similar personality.

Answer 4

blogit....well you could run, as the others suggested, or you could try to understand her/them. That way, when they did something really annoying you would be more willing to accept the behavior because you understood it is innate to that person. I have idiots at work. They are idiots and will always be idiots. I accept them for who they are and understand that this is their behavior. It is annoying as heck. Remember, it is only annoying to those who allow it to be annoying. You might find humor in their repulsive behavior. I ask you, is there any better way to start the day than with a bucket full of humor??????

Answer 5

A wise person once said "Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer".

I've found with these type of people, ignoral is best policy. People sometimes do these things because people give them the power to do so. They do this purely by the reactions they get from people.

As for your boss...do your best. What more can she do to you?

Answer 6

Time to look for a new job !!! Three weeks out of every month women are their normal bitchy self, then that fourth week they turn into WONDER ******.

Answer 7

you shouldnt let little things like that get to you, who gives a crap, just take it with a pinch of salt, your always going to come across dickheads at work, no matter where. just take it under the chin

Answer 8

reality orientation and don't pay them too much attention because that is what exactly what they want you to do, so don't do it, and hopefully they start acting normal!

Answer 9

Is this question about me !!?? Wahoo, thank you !! As soon as I read I knew it was.

Answer 10

start looking for another job