divorce.Now I got this message on my answering machine that says that if I testify against him, I`m dead.I`m TERRIFIED.I know if he doesn`t do it, his friends will..he`s got some real low-class pals.I can`t just take off, I bought and paid for this house.If I leave it, it will be set on fire.This is a nightmare.I need some REAL answers, please..I am unbelievably scared.This house is my first solid sign of what hard work can do.I know you`re thinking leaving would be the thing to do, but if I do, I have NOTHING.I`m confused and so afraid..help..please?
2006-07-04 22:37:38 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I do not do drugs, I do not drink...I guess I ignored the warning signs when it came to falling in love with him.....
2006-07-04 23:32:25 · update #1
just an update.I`ve recieved 2 more phone calls. The police have put a "trap" on my phone.Also..I came home tonite and found 2 windows shot out.Court was today to get the Order of Proction made permanant.He didn`t show up.I have to go again on the 17th. He has now wracked up a total of 6 Felonies.and I am more than a lil bit
2006-07-05 23:53:55 · update #2
This is going to be my last update.I`m so scared..not just from him and his"brothers"..but from the COPS.I have become a bother to them, it seems.They aren`t even trying to fake politeness,now.(We have a grand total of 3 cops in the nearest town 10 miles away) I took allot of advise from y`all..ty so much.I MADE the cops come tape the message,and then I called them and gave them the PHONE NUMBER that they FORGOT to get(I SWEAR,TRUTH)he`s gonna kill me.I know it.I`ve sent my son to stay with a friend..My creep of a husband never wanted ME to have friends,and my family is not an option.So I will be here..waiting.Even though the order of protection was BROKEN when he had his friend call..he is STILL out of jail.WHY?? That`s an automatic FELONY. This is a nightmare.I borrowed a gun,.the cops took mine, because it was used by him during the assault.This is a really bad movie in the making.If I wasnt so scared,it might be funny.And,whoever said he`ll come in the night was right,he will.
2006-07-11 20:01:42 · update #3
You said you borrowed a gun right? Well, you've taken all the steps you were supposed to, AND THE POLICE IS ACTING LIKE YOU'RE BOTHERING THEM!? Well, the harassment has been documented so if he comes in your house, you light his a** up!! It wouldn't be a bad idea to get some pepper spray or something in your purse too.
You're going to have to kick some a** so just stop being scared and get ready for it. You will be alright, NEVER let them know you are scared, even if you are, its a sign of weakness and gives the abuser too much power.
You start acting like a psycho if you have to. Go shoot out his windows or something, let him know he has no more power and you'll take him on if you have to, and you'll win because men that abuse women are punks anyway.
Take on some of his rage and anger and use it against him.
Sometimes you have to fight fire with fire.
2006-07-16 13:07:58 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he is a real psychotic!
You need to documant everything he does and says.
Any proof, like the tape recording needs to be given to the police and also used at any hearings.
Most of the time men like that lash out verbally to inflict the fear. However there are that small percent that actually do what they say. Take no chances that he may be that small percent.
Most people do not want involved with a marriage gone sour, so his low life friends will more than likely try to persued him to leave you alone.
However it would be a good idea to let the police know who they are. They may even contact these people letting them know that any involvement in your life will result in punishment.
You also should stay with a friend or relitive until it all blows over. Being alone makes you an open target especially at night.
Security systems can be dissconnected if the perp knows anything about electrical systems and since your X knows where your electric box and phone lines are it wouldn't do you too much good to get one. Besides that if he is that freaked out he wont care. It takes seconds to kill and minutes for the police to respond to an alarm.
You may want to consider moving. It stinks that you have to give up what you worked so hard for, but your life is worth so much more than a house. You can always buy another one.
Besides moving away from him so that he doesn't know where you are will lift a great wieght off your shoulders and help you regain your life back sooner.
Good Luck!
2006-07-04 23:49:40 · answer #2 · answered by lovingfeathers 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you got a house once you can get another one. You can't get another life.
However, it sounds as if you are not going to do that.
Stalking is even more dangerous than, being in the abusive relationship. It is more dangerous both emotionally and physically if they follow through. You need therapy, support groups, to help you through this and can get those through your local domestic crisis center.
YOU MUST GET:
restraning order: against who I am not sure. However, you are not thinking real clear right now out of fear. Most friends of your husband aren't going to risk going to jail for you. He is trying to manipulate you even though he does have bad friends. I have been there and I know.
Next to give you peace, go to the local animal shelter and get the biggest meanest looking dog you can find. It doesn't have to be mean just needs to look intimidating. It will warn you if anyone is in the yard etc.
WAlmart has psuedo alarm syswtems. They can be attached to your doors and windows for a very cheap price of about nine dollars a unit. They are sense activated. Anyone touches the doors or windows and an alarm goes off to warn you.
Get those tacky lawn ornaments that are frogs or other animals that chirp when someone comes near. This can be put by each of yoru doors and throughout the yard to alert you also.
CELL PHONE IS A MUST NO MATTER WHERE YOU ARE.
Speed dial for police.
If you are ever followed, always always make a plan so that you know just how to drive to the local police department.........lead them right there. Have a sign in your car that says HELP! In case you need it. You can also have one for your home if you have neighbors close by.
Get a friend to stay with you awhile. You won't be bothered if you have a witness.
2006-07-04 23:51:14 · answer #3 · answered by heartwhisperer2000 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have to agree with the others, you can get a new house due to the homeowners insurance you have but you can't get a new life if you perish in the house. Here is a website for you to check out and a hotline to call. This place is in an undisclosed area and you will not be allowed to be contacted by him or anyone else until this issue is resolved. They have court advocates that can help you. If you go to this place you DO NOT need to worry about hurrying to get an order of protection, they will be that for you until you get one. Here is the site just go there and get some information. http://www.casa-stpete.org/ or call 1800 799 SAFE. By the way don't say you have nothing because right now you still have your life and that is the single most important thing. Good Luck and GOD BLESS!
2006-07-05 02:27:43 · answer #4 · answered by im_allergic_to_bullsh1t 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First get a restraining order
Second stay at a safe house and put this house up for sale with the housing market as it is you will most likely walk away wiht a profit. If he does set it on fire, the insurance will cover it and your life will be in tact,
If anything does happen to the house, keep in mind he will be the first person the police will hunt down do you think he will be so loyal to his friends if they did it since he is a low life woman beater?
When planning your exit take only the most cherished posessions (ie baby memory books etc travel light)
GET TO A SAFE HOUSE that is THE most important thing.
remember there is nothing more important than your life material items can be replaced YOU CANNOT BE
2006-07-04 22:46:15 · answer #5 · answered by miss_kittyslave 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Follow Sweet_seducts advice take the recording to the police NOW! Don't let that cowardly piece of crap threaten you. Why can't you sell the house after you get him put away for a while, and go somewhere else? If you sell you would have the money to start over unless you're in debt or owe too much on the house, but if it's that bad what is worse sell you home or get hurt worse than you have been?
2006-07-04 22:58:23 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
And what do you have if you stay? Sell the place and go. The next house you buy will be the second solid sign what hard work can do. You have insurance, let them torch it if that's what the cowards want to do. Your safety comes first. Everything else can be replaced. Sounds like you've fallen in with the wrong crowd anyway and could use a fresh start. Divorce him, go through women's shelters if you have to in order to get away. Start fresh. Make sure you don't take your problems with you, if you have any drug/alcohol issues get them fixed too while you're at it. Be smart about this.
2006-07-04 22:55:49 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, I hope you saved the message on the answering machine. for him to even do this proves he is an idiot.
Thank god you've had the BRAINS to leave the worthless piece of ****. Good for you!!! Keep on with it! He WANTS you to be scared! Don't give him the satisfaction! As the folks above tell you, Keep the police involved. Record any time he calls. get someone to stay with you for awhile. And, For Gods sake, TESTIFY! with the threats on top of everything else, This prick will be out of your life. Keep your home. Tell Police who his friends are too. You will be fine, He is making a last ditch attempt to control you. Call the abused women numbers in the phone book too, They can be a lot of help to you. Good Luck with your new and happy life!!! All of this hell you're going through right now will be well worth it. And after this is over and you're still feeling unsafe? Sell the house and put it towards a new one. Whatever you decide, Be proud of yourself. You are a strong,{ soon to be independent },Smart woman who knows she will never put up with abuse again. I'm proud of you!!! You are a role model for every battered girl who reads this. And there are so many of them that It makes me sick. Get tough girl! You are stronger than you know! Sorry to carry on so...your Q. just made me wish that we were friends,, I would take great pleasure in kicking his *** myself if he, or his punk-***, scum bag- friends ever bother you again. And I have quite a few friends myself.....Peace!
2006-07-04 23:37:06 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get Help from the police i now you are scared but remember he beat you up no woman has to put up with that nobody. I don't think that you should leave after everything you work hard for and loose it no no fight girl you can do it you are strong and you can go thought this you are not alone there is many woman out there that they are afraid to say that their man beats them up but you you have guts and you are a very strong person don't give up i will pray for you so that everything will be okay God Bless You.
2006-07-05 03:10:22 · answer #9 · answered by SunFlower 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Call the police and save the tape so they can hear it. I don't blame you for being scare, I would be to. But what is more important? Your house or YOUR LIFE? Don't back out on testifying that is what he wants. This all could be a tactic into scarring you into not testifying. But what ever you do take it seriously and call the police.
2006-07-04 22:55:48 · answer #10 · answered by brighteyes62301 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋