My girlfriend is pregnant and needs help, what do I do?

Question

I'm 17 and I got my girlfriend pregnant, she is 16. And it isn't the telling my parents that I am so worried about. It is more her mother. She took a knife to her throat because she didnt want to eat cake at thanksgiving. So we both know she will not react so great to this. My girlfriend wants a way out and she has only come up with one, I just need opinions as to rather or not it is a good or bad idea. I don't need to hear how stupid we are because believe me, I already know..... My girlfriend is against the idea of abortion and she doesn't want to put the baby up for adoption either. So I researched everything and she wants to try and get emancipated so she can move out. I also want to be there for her because I believe that I made my own bed now I have to sleep in it >_X...So is it a good idea for her to get emancipated and us move out? I have a job and we have family friends that know and want to help us out with whatever we choose to do.....

Answer 1

Disfunctional family again...sheesh, may be you have enough sense to bail out.

Answer 2

First of all, this is a tough time for the both of you, and good luck. But lets be honest, she wants this baby. It sounds like your girlfriend already knows this. Get someone to come with you when you to tell her parents, (maybe your parents, a trusted adult friend, a teacher, even a police officer etc) DO NOT ALLOW HER TO BE ALONE WITH HER MOTHER after you tell her. Her mother sounds dangerous! Move her out! Get her somewhere safe, than worry about the emancipation thing. Im not saying run away, but let her father know that she will not be coming home and why! Has she been to a doctor yet? Get her to one. Good luck and remember many other people have been through this and YOU will make it through. You sound mature and you CAN handle it.

Answer 3

Well, first thing is to make sure she is safe, once you become pregnant you are usually legally emancipated. She can obtain her own Medi-Cal if she is not insured. Here is a number you can call for help if you are in the state of CALIFORNIA, if not ur state should have a hot line number. There is counseling and help for you both. even with program to continue school and would even pay for day care. I know .. I was a teen mom at 16 I am 29 and been Married to my high school sweet heart since 16. We now have 4 kids together and have great jobs. Make over 150k a year. You can do it!!! CALL THIS NUMBER 1800-395 HELP or look up this link http://www.lifecall.org/cpc/ca.html . Best of luck sweetie.

Answer 4

Emancipation is a legal process that can be long and expensive.

Tell your parents first and have them invite your girlfriend and her mother over. The four of you should tell her together to protect your girlfriend.

You and your parents should take your girlfriend and the baby into your home so that both of you can finish highschool and get into colleges. You, also, need a job after school.

Good luck,

Answer 5

Before that, have you considered marriage? If your parents were in agreement, you could marry and she could live in your house with your parents. Emancipation is an option, but it could be a legally expensive one. She might want to call child services and see what her legal status is after the child is born. In my state, a kid under 18 that gives birth can be considered a legal adult because they are now in an adult role making adult choices. She needs to find someone that she can speak to, to find out her options. Could she stay with family till 18? It sounds like you both have some good ideas, but someone that knows more about the legal situation can help you more. So good luck and be the best Daddy you can be.

Answer 6

first of all,you and your girlfriend need to sit down and talk to your parents. allow them to process their feelings before making any kind of decisions. I think your next move would be to call a social worker and discuss your girlfriends situation with her mom. Once there is some kind of support system ,the both of you have to make a very important decision. one is do you love her or do you feel obligated?The same ?for her about you.whatever you do don't get married because of the baby. i know this sound cold but you can't help each other if your not honest with yourselves.Whatever the two of you decide,you have to remember your responsibility to your child as the father no matter what. i wish you both the best. Remember,what ever the two of you decide,you'll both have to live with the rest of your lives. so take your time and think things out. take things one step at a time.Also,you can't give to anyone what you don't give to yourself first. Good luck! I wish you both the best.

Answer 7

I think, based on what you said, that it's a great idea for her to get emancipated. It's good that you decided to step up and take some responsibility. Just be prepared for her mom to freak out if and when she finds out that she's pregnant and trying to become emancipated. Have you seen her mothers outbursts? You may have to have some heavy proof to get her emancipated. Good luck to you and I hope that all works out soon.

Answer 8

Well, before you tell her mother, she needs to have lots of people around her, maybe have your parents there also. tell your parents what has happened before so they know why they need to be there, or have a phone handy when you guys tell her so you can call the law. Good luck, I will pray for your safety.


I am happy to hear that you have a job and r going to take care of this baby. Shows character. I wish you both all the luck in the world.

Answer 9

emancipation is a hard thing to get, because she has to prove that she (not you) can support herself and that she can make mature decisions and I'm sorry but getting pregnant at 16 is not a mature decision. If her mother is threatening her she can call protective services and they will find her a good home with possably a relative, get her the health care she needs for her and the baby and early child care classes because at 16 she will need them. They will not make her give up her baby and will encourage your participation. sounds like a better plan to me.

Answer 10

WOW!! I have A LOT of respect for people like your girlfriend and yourself!! She should get emancipated but remember it is NOT going to be easy neither the process of emancipating or the baby part but you are stepping up to your plate and god will be there for you because he forgives us for our sins and I'm telling you this from EXPERIENCE he will NEVER throw anything your way that you cant handle it might be hard but it will be possible!

Answer 11

Never abort the baby...or whatever that may kill him/her. Because it is already a blessing, a gift never intake it.

I think lots of teenagers nowadays are trying to experiece the so-called PMS...I hope u understand I am not trying to blame you but maybe its part of our generation...Lots of evil things that are happening and later realizations appear...

I know it is very hard to accept those big responsibilities but you must face the great consequences of what you've did.

Don't advise your girlfriend to do bad things that your baby will suffer to dying. Even if she will take lots of medicines if the baby is set to live in the world you can't take it. Lately, when the baby was conceive there are lots of false incidents that she/he may occur in his/her body...

About your parents...well, those are the hardest person to face...
You better ask forgiveness first to the Creator above..Let his Guidance be yours...and then as the Man talk to your gf's parents... Admit it...and if they say, if you are willing to take charge of all the expenses and the having a family???Think twice..if you cannot do that thing say it but you must take or look for some jobs or work out there to sustain your family...

But the best thing is to help your gf carry her burdens because on the part of your gf I think it is more difficult than what you experiece, don't disagree I am a girl and I know the lil bits of hopes and pains of every woman...

Another way to heal those pains in your heart is to talk to a counselor or a family guider--(Priest)...Ask them what to do next..

I hope it is a great lesson in your life...Take care of your gf and your baby...Happy Life!