I know a girl who was abused by her brother from an early age but revealed it to her parents at age 16. However, her parents blamed everything on her. She is currently 22 years of age and studying in Los Angeles. She has 3.8 GPA but suffers from mood swing and depression. She also has attraction towards elder and married men. Can this be due to th eabuse she suffered earlier? Can therapy can help her? Where should I advise her to go?
2006-07-04 22:03:08 · 13 answers · asked by dipu_greg85 2 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
Her GPA suggests that she's generally a responsible and hard-working adult, so I doubt that this is merely a way for her to get attention or make excuses for her dating behavior. The mood swings and depression could also stem from the abuse in her family.
Note that I said "family" -- not only did her brother abuse her, but the way her parents treated her when she finally had the guts to tell them was no doubt emotionally devastating for her. There is definitely emotional trauma there that could be resulting in the depression and mood swings. (One moment, you can feel good about life... and then you remember the past and everything crashes immediately.) Family relationships impact all other relationships, and women can be more emotionally vulnerable when their relationships are shaken.
Even her attraction towards elder married men can stem in part from the sexual abuse by her brother as well as the emotional abuse that probably came from her parents. (If they blamed the incest on her, they no doubt mistreated her in similar ways throughout her childhood.) Sexual abuse in families destroys boundaries, her parents sounds as if they are the sort to destroy emotional boundaries, and a lack of knowing where clear boundaries are is one thing that would contribute to her dating behavior.
So now she is no longer a victim, she is contributing to other people (the wives) being hurt. She does need to get help, both for herself and before she hurts someone else.
Therapy could help her, if she is willing to confront the pain of her past and accept that she also has problems that she has to find solutions for, before her family's destructive legacy plays out in her own life.
As far as what type, it depends partly on your friend's personality. I have had luck with cognitive behavior therapy -- which basically examines all the "wrong" ways we have been taught to view life, determines which behaviors have come from these wrong ways of thinking, and then learning to recognize and change these thoughts when they pop up. But maybe something else would be helpful to her.
At the very least, she needs the emotional support of someone older than her, who she can trust -- since her parents have proven untrustworthy in this regard. Sometimes the mere idea that someone believes in you and is working for your best interest, to make you healthy, changes things for the better.
2006-07-05 01:43:31 · answer #1 · answered by Jennywocky 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Yes! She should definately seek therapy and therapy would help her. She was suffered a trauma which, being unresolved, can lead to various mental/emotional/ behavioral issues. Especially if the mother blamed her. If she is going to college, the first thing she should do is talk to the counseling center. She will be able to get services as part of her paide tuition. Second, she should see if there are any support groups in her neighorhood or on campus for victims of abuse. You did not say what kind fo abuse it was, but there are groups that deal with physical, verbal, and sexual abuse issues. If talking is too hard, then she could see if her school counselor could refer something like Drama Therapy or another type of creative arts therapy. Whatever she does, it is highly reccommended that she receives some help.
2006-07-04 22:34:02 · answer #2 · answered by sokaqt 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Depression and mood swings are common among intelligent people believe it or not. Situations like that will affect a person their whole life. That doesn't mean it has to be negative. Therapy could be a good thing, but it's not for everyone. I do recommend trying it. Yet at the same time she should try to surround herself with people who she can relate to in some aspects... People who she can talk to and feel comfortable. That is a big help. Also look into some natural root extract pills called Maca. This is very good for people with mood swings. I take them daily because I have had depression and mood swing problems.
2006-07-04 22:17:06 · answer #3 · answered by wizzardkodi 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
One is never to old to get into therapy. But you see, it still depends on the person. Therapy will help her manage her troubles but it won't solve her problems. Ask her of her problem and just listen. I think she needs that a lot. Don't speak. Just let her spill her thoughts. Then afterwards, ask her if she would like to undergo thrapy. Explain to her that it will help her manage her problems and all. Good luck!
2006-07-04 23:29:59 · answer #4 · answered by coolblueacid 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Often therapy can help. But medicine is like everything else, it is a buyer beware market. You have to be very selective in who you trust with these kinds of feelings. If she chooses to get help, check with other doctors in her community to get a recommendation on a competent doctor who will guide her toward recovery, not add to the problem. I wish her well.
2006-07-04 22:16:41 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My opinion is that no matter how old you are, anything bad that has happened in someones life regardless as to what time it happened can hurt them later in life. my sister was beaten, molested, raped, and mentaly toyed with right now she is in a steate hospital. All that stuff happened to my sister when she was 4,5,6,and 7 and she is now still having to deal with it. I say that to say this no matter what age the best advise I can give to you is to seek immediate help. Offer her to go to the womens shelter, they have outpatient therapy and have more access to resources that can help her.
2006-07-04 22:18:55 · answer #6 · answered by Scotty P 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Absolutely! I was waited 25 years to tell my secret that I was sexually molested by my mother's boyfriend. That was 25 years too long. If not actual therapy for the hurt inside ~ closure with the pain so she can put it behind her forever.
2006-07-04 22:13:01 · answer #7 · answered by Victim of Ex-Husband 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think this is just another feeble attempt to divert the negative attention she is getting and justify herself in dating who she wants.
I really wouldn't waste any time on it because I seriously think she just finds older married men a turn on.
2006-07-05 01:28:07 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
she should get therapy for her depression and mood swings, they might be affected by what happened to her, they might not. she should see a counselor, she could go to her doctor and ask him who he would recommend, or she could ask other people she knows who are in therapy.
2006-07-04 22:09:13 · answer #9 · answered by vampire_kitti 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It certainly is possible. The effects of this sort of thing can effect a person for their entire life.
2006-07-04 22:07:31 · answer #10 · answered by quikzip7 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋